


Dragon Ball: Fuushi

by StrangeDemonChild



Series: The Fabulous Story Of An Isekai'd Girl That Knows The Source Material [2]
Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Ace/Aro Pride, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Crack, And Marie Kondo said to throw it away if it doesn't spark joy, Aromantic, Asexual, Asexual Character, Asexuality, Boop boop thats the sound of the police, CRACKHEAD, Canon is shit, Canon spoilers ahead, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Crack and Angst, DBZ, Dark Comedy, Dark Crack, Dragon Ball Z - Freeform, Friendship, Fuck Canon, Gay Character, Gen, Heathers References, Heathers: The Musical References, How much homoerotic subtext can I put in one fic?, Humor, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I refuse to apologize, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Torture, JoJo References, Matchmaking, No Smut, Not Canon Compliant, Not a Love Story, Original Character Death(s), Original Character(s), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Parody, Pizza Rolls, Reader Is Not Romantic, Reader-Insert, Reader-Interactive, Red Bull, Satire, Self Insert, Slushies, So guess what I did?, Spoilers, Steven Universe References, The Author Regrets Nothing, The DBZ storyline is shit, This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think, Trans Female Character, Vines, dragon ball - Freeform, i'm dead inside, nobody is straight, story based, teen angst bullshit, vine references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:55:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 38
Words: 42,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25251232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StrangeDemonChild/pseuds/StrangeDemonChild
Summary: A baseball bat, some disgruntled fighters looking to take the spotlight, and an oversized cat. After losing some powers and gaining some new ones, (Y/n)'s story continues as she has to take control over the storyline of Dragon Ball. Totally didn't sign up for this, but someone has to do it, right?  Still armed with a baseball bat and way too much Red Bull, (Y/n) has to try and make a home for herself, while also dealing with villains, charaters that were not in canon, and villains that certainly weren't in canon.The story of the aromantic continues. This time, it won't be love that she's facing.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s), Reader Is Asexual - Relationship
Series: The Fabulous Story Of An Isekai'd Girl That Knows The Source Material [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1829386
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13





	1. A Summary Since The First Book Takes Forever

A/N: Aight, so Im writing this note here and not in the actual notes section so I can use a hyperlink

If you **HAVEN'T** read the fanfic Satire, which can be found [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24340012), read it, none of this will make sense if you don't read it first. I am writing this **ASSUMING** you have read Satire and know the context behind it. In case you don't want to, here's a quick summary, though.

I suggest just skimming through Satire and then reading this, this sums it up in (Y/n)'s own words.

~~The tags will be updated as shit happens, because shit happens~~

* * *

"Captains Log, entry one."

Brushing (h/c) hair out of my face, I laid on my couch and held my phone to my mouth. Beside me lay my baseball bat, two cans of Red Bull, and an empty slushy cup. An oversized Siamese cat lay purring in a fluffy bed, ignoring me for now.

"I should start at the beginning. My name is (Y/n) (L/n). I was a high school student in Minnesota, up until... I guess recently. I mean, it's been a good few months since I've actually been in Minnesota, perhaps more. I really lost track of time. But for good reason. Anyway, I was a normal high school girl. Until..."

I took in a deep breath.

"I got fucking Isekai'd into Dragon Ball. Literally, a being on a higher plane of existence calling itself Writer-San fucking Isekai'd me and my five friends into different anime, and mine was Dragon Ball and _not_ Jojo. And I'm _still_ mad. Anyway, this followed a sort of fanfiction route. Where... Where the male characters fell in love with me. An aromantic. Like, what the fuck? Hell, I got fucking _raped_ by a villain. What kind of fanfiction are people writing? You know what, g!p and sex pollen exist, also the default tags on AO3 literally include non-con and underage kids, so why am I surprised? Oh, I don't know, maybe because I'm _traumatized_?"

I really tried to remember the endless mountains of smut with non-con out there, but then I remembered that I was a real person and not some fanfiction rape-fantasy doll. Truth be told, I showed that I wasn't a rape-fantasy doll with a baseball bat. That also could shoot ki blasts.

Thanks, Future Bulma. You helped me get revenge.

"I went between a lot of characters, but it began to devolve once I brought my friends over to this world. At first, I was trying to survive, but soon, we were having fun. While also showing Writer-San that we wouldn't play its game. The canon characters could only watch in bewilderment, really. We did as we pleased, they were... They were characters to us. That's what they were. Characters. People I had seen fight and die over and over. I mean, it was more about us trying to force Writer-San's hand than anything."

That name. That name made me roll my eyes in disgust.

"Writer-San did this... As some sort of experiment. And an attempt to get some attention from others of its kind. It was really bizarre, I could almost describe Writer-San as having the _'not like other girls'_ syndrome. It just saw us, me and the canon characters alike, as puppets. Just entertainment. I mean, I guess I saw all the canon Dragon Ball characters as entertainment, too... Anyway, back to the story. My friends and I fucked shit up enough so that Writer-San had to change their plans. What we didn't realize was that it loved me. It actually _loved_ me."

I reached over, grabbed one of the cans of Red Bull, and took a long sip. Just tasting this chemical fluid made me feel better.

"I fought against it, and was banished here again. But it's different... Before, I couldn't sense power levels and assumed I was an android. Now, I can sense them. That's not the only thing that's off... I've been here for a few weeks. No scenario switching, no dreams of Writer-San, nothing. I've searched everywhere for a canon character. Nothing. Like they just... Disappeared. I really cannot fathom why. Maybe it's because my presence, as someone from an entirely alternate dimension, alters this world fundamentally. Or maybe it's Writer-San's doing."

Still hadn't figured shit out, but it was time to plan ahead.

"I'll parse out _how_ and _why_ people like Goku aren't around later on. For now, I need to plan. And my plan involves turning Raditz good. By the power of character development. And, you know... Telling him that he's an anime character and that he dies early on and doesn't really come back. Or, I dunno, who really knows the canon of Dragon Ball anymore? With all the games and the movies, I don't think Toriyama himself knows anymore. It's just buff dudes punching each other. But I'm gonna make it more. And I'll start with Raditz. If I ultimately fail with him, I'll do things myself. I guess... Kami, right, I have to climb the tower. That's a thing."

A thought popped into my head.

"Korrin can read minds, right? Oh, he's gonna learn real fast. I suppose that might guarantee training... I know the water is bullshit. Hey, I should check on Kami, too. Hopefully he's still around... I have to get through Korrin first, right? Yeah... Fuck, maybe if I tell him I know the water's bullshit, he'll let me go... Wait, do I even _need_ to train there? There's no real rule telling me to go up there, right? I don't wanna unless I really gotta, I mean... What do you even say? _'Yeah you all are fictional characters that I watched as a child, in a world where we don't really have ki and all, at least not in this way, so can you all help with this impending alien invasion?'_ "

I felt like I was thinking too hard about this. Okay, unless summoned, I will avoid going near the tower. Cause... I don't wanna talk to people. As usual. Picking up my baseball bat, I put some frozen chicken nuggests in the oven and walked outside, seeing Quartz sitting in the grass.

My son. Fuck you, Turles, and fuck you, Writer-San. 

"Munchkin, come inside."

"Is the food ready?" Quartz ran inside with me, hiding under my trench coat.

"It will be. Get some sleep... I think we're gonna become main characters pretty soon."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: A kind reminder that every scenario in Satire was based off of actual fanfiction I read. All of them. Turles included. People are fucking nasty, that doesn't work as lube, and why would the reader be into it if he's-
> 
> You know what, I'm not gonna question someone's weird non-con fantasy on the internet, Im just gonna give Turles what he deserves in all the source material I read


	2. Gi's Are Ugly

"Okay, but if I can't dress like Dio's overdramatic ass, then _what is the fucking point?"_

I tried. I tried to make some sort of gi. But I couldn't do it. It just looked so ugly, not because I fucked up while making it, but because gi's are ugly. I threw my usual combination of schoolgirl uniform and trench coat back on and resolved to burn that fucking gi. 

Imagine me wearing an ugly ass orange gi. Eww. Little bit of makeup, and here we go. I grabbed my bat and flew off, focusing in on one thing. That power level that got here a little while ago, giving off the absolute _worst_ vibes. Yeah, I spent some time putting on that gi, only to take it off and put on my cute clothes. And put on makeup. Look, Raditz is gonna look for Goku first. I had time, because he wouldn't find Goku if I hadn't yet.

Dust blowing across the hot wasteland, I soon saw the bastard coming back to his pod, probably in confusion. I quietly landed behind him, on some rocks, then tapped him on the shoulder with my bat.

"Yo, what's up?"

Raditz turned and locked eyes with me, and I swear, I've never seen a grown man go from confused to even _more_ confused in such a short span.

"Trench? The hell are _you_ going here?"

My persona was still a thing? Trench, the traveling misfit? Sounded like I was a little famous. I mean, it was a cover story when I first came up with it, and it would be a cover story now.

"Uh, I live here. Dipshit. I mean, well, Earth is nice, and I'm gonna guess you're here to fuck shit up, hm? Little Frieza servant?"

"Like you'd know! Anyway, that's not all I'm here for, anyway! You just wait until I find my younger brother... When he joins me-"

"You mean Kakarot? Or, he was called Goku here, but whatever, you ain't gonna find him... Raditz."

Oh, that got him. Raditz stepped back, a snarl on his face. This was only about to get weirder.

"H-How do you know my name?! And his name?!"

"I got _secrets,_ man... Crazy secrets, but I at least got proof to back me up. You wouldn't have convinced him, you'd have died here. And Vegeta and Nappa, those elite pricks? Ain't gonna bring you back."

I would have gone on if he didn't attack me, which forced me to think about fighting back. I wasn't overpowered anymore, I wasn't protected by my Mary Sue power. Which meant this hurt. Neither of us were really winning, until a thought popped into my head.

_'Hey, I'd figure there'd be lists of missing people available to the public through the internet, so maybe I should check if people like Bulma and Yamcha are missing because they'd certainly be missed-'_

That thought distracted me from a kick to the stomach. Well... I've had cramps that were worse, actually. Wait, no, this was worse. I got to my feet just as I saw a bigass blast headed right for me. Oh, that was probably big enough to knock me out for good.

It would have been, if not for what looked like enormous black wings, that sprouted from by back. That wasn't in canon. That was _not_ in canon. I mean, Dragon Ball canon is a little weird and usually not meant to make total sense, but that was definitely, certainly, not from any _official_ Dragon Ball animation, video game, or manga.

Which meant it was another thing on the list of "Things My Presence In This World Has Fucked Up", which is now the name for things my presence in this world has fucked up.

Wither way, the wings blocked the blast, unfurling around me as Raditz and I just stared at each other in a state of vague amazement. I then snatched my bat and shot him point blank in the face, knocking him out.

"Okay, that was a pretty _cheap_ win entirely credited to the emergence of a sudden new power... Well, why am I complaining? I'm not an android, but I got cool ass bird wings."

I reached out to touch them, my hand passing right through. I could just barely see through them, and in a moment, they disappeared. Huffing, I grabbed Raditz by the tail, then picked him up and took him to my ship. I then proceeded to Flex Tape him to a nearby chair, taping his mouth shut as well. Finally, I grabbed my laptop and put in a DVD. One of DBZ. Yeah, I still had DVDs, it was on sale and my dad bought it for me.

Wasn't gonna say _no_ to that, especially when they didn't have any Jojo related stuff. I also took a second to get out some of the figurines I had from Dragon Ball. I mean, it was technically my former favorite before I watched Jojo, so I used to get a lot of them. My Jojo figures were next to the other figures still on display.

Finally, I snatched his scouter off his face and crushed it.

_'Okay, it's simple, just get that episode up where he fucking dies, explain the concept of anime, and tell him who you really are. Also explain that there's more going on here and that he has a shot at living free of Frieza. Tell him Frieza can die, too. He's scared of dying, I figured that's why he was weaker. Less Zenkai boosts, and all. Alright... Just gotta wait here.'_

Keeping a gorilla grip on his tail, I saw Quartz run up to me, leave me a box of Cheez-Its and a pack of Red Bull next to me, and run out again without a word. Aww, how sweet! I sipped casually on some of the Red Bull until Raditz began to stir. 

I turned on the episode, grabbed by bat, and pointed it at him, glaring directly at him.

"Bitch, you are gonna watch this anime, or I'm poppin' between ya eyes!"

Here's hoping no one pisses on the moon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I would describe fight scenes but when the fighting itself isnt really important, I don't. Suck it
> 
> Also if you understand the last two lines, I love you


	3. The Fourth Wall Is Shooketh

A/n: Okay, so, I have a job now that I'm training in for. Uploads may be slow until I get into a rhythm with it

* * *

"Mmmph! Mmmmmmmph!"

"Shut up, it's not like this will happen! Just pay attention!"

I now realized how little justice the animation style actually did for Raditz. The hair was way less spiky, just heavily layered and long. And less defined muscles, but those were highly exaggerated in the animation anyway. He looked like an actual person. 

Well, he _was_ now. Felt weird, still. 

Once the episode ended, I took the tape off Raditz's mouth, putting my bat down but keeping his tail in my hands.

"...Thoughts?" I asked.

"What the hell was that?! Who are you?!"

"Well, that was an anime. A form of animation used as entertainment. As for who I am, I'm (Y/n) (L/n). And I'm from a world where that is a mainstream anime. Classic one, too. Essentially, that's how I knew you'd be here, who you were, what you were looking for. Who you work for. Who's gonna be following you. Follow along, I'm gonna give a bit of a crash course."

I began to pace somewhat, getting into my explanation.

"Anime is a form of animation, in my world it comes from a place called Japan. My version of Earth is different than this one, just know that. This world is one of these fictional anme series. Like, it's just a story. People get really invested in it, but none of it is considered real. I didn't consider it real until I got brought over here. I can go into that part later, but... I need your help, Raditz. I can't do what Go- Sorry, I can't do what _Kakarot_ did alone. Which is why... I'm turning to you."

"...You're not making any sense." He spat out.

"I know! You think I wanted this?! I got thrown in here with no warning! I should be graduating, not fighting! But here we are, Raditz. You know Frieza, and Vegeta and Nappa? Defeatable, all of them. Nappa? Forgettable, doesn't come back. I know I sound crazy, but... Look, I've got an offer for you. I'll let go, but you gotta promise you'll hear me out."

I didn't let go until he gave a small nod. He didn't attack. So I had gotten his ear.

"I'll train you." I began. "Free training. If, by the time your friends get here, you still want to go down the Frieza path, then fine. You'll have an easy win when it's three against one, and you'll be stronger to boot. If you decide to follow me, then we fight together. I won't kill you, and killing me won't benefit you in the long run. I'm the one with things to lose here, not you."

Silence. I must have sounded so desperate. Raditz tore out of the Flex Tape I had use and got to his feet, staring down at me.

"...And what if I don't agree?" He asked.

"Then you can leave and we can fight later. And this time, I'm not gonna let you go. Your choice."

I half expected him to leave. But he didn't. He shook his head and stuck out his hand.

"You know... I don't get what you just showed me. But hell, that's how I die? What about Vegeta and Nappa? Do they stand a chance?"

"Sort of. Nappa dies cause Vegeta kills him, but they do some damage. Mainly because Goku didn't get there on time and all. Vegeta's a little more complicated, but he'll die at some point. So, it's not like fighting them is futile, but we _really_ gotta train. Okay? Fuck what Saiyans are 'supposed' to be, you're more than a goddamn _'hurr durr fight eat strong woman waifu'_ stereotype!"

"Hmph. Fine, you got a year. Highly doubt you'll change anything."

Maybe he was curious. Maybe he was scared of fighting me for now. Maybe he truly wanted to break free after seeing himself die on screen in high resolution. Whatever it was, I was training with this fucker.

Holy shit, my insanely stupid plan worked.

"Okay, so question. You want a more in depth explanation of anime, and this anime, and what that kinda means? Also an explanation of what happened to me? They're kinda linked."

"...Sure, whatever, weakling."

Oh, this was gonna be _fun_.

* * *

"...And that's it, really. Look, I grew up with this as a very constant force in my life, this is my best way of explaining fandoms to you. I'm sorry it doesn't make sense."

"Wait, you got-"

"Yeah, don't bring it up around Quartz, okay?"

I had spent the rest of the day explaining this shit to Raditz, an alien who had no prior idea of anime and the culture around it. A tough ride, to be sure, but a needed one. Explaining how I got dragged into this mess was a long, painful ride, that left me on the verge of tears. But not in tears, I refused to cry just yet. Save the mental breakdown for later.

"...Question." Raditz raised his hand.

"Yeah?"

"So, that doujinshi stuff you brought up, if this is an anime, then-"

"Yes."

"So there's these comics of-"

"Yes."

"So people-"

" _Yes."_

 _"..._ So I-"

"Raditz, doujinshi is a scary place, people have absolutely spent time and effort drawing your dick in detail, and you as a woman with balloon tiddies to match, get used to it. Every fandom has _that_ side, and if someone tells you that their fandom _doesn't_ , then they _are_ that side of that fandom."

I had never seen such disgusted horror in anyone's eyes. It seemed like Raditz still had questions about this wonderful world of fandoms.

"...Okay, so these fanfiction things, there's ones where people self insert into this world? As a fantasy?"

"Yeah, it's pretty common, Not all of it is bad, a lot of it is heavily based on romance."

"Yeah, but following that, this 'smut' fanfiction-"

"Yes."

"So people write that for free?"

"Yeah, fanfiction is generally supposed to be free."

Raditz seemed like he was having a slow realization of something horrible.

"But people write... 'Smut' of-"

"Yep."

" _For the love of fuck,"_ Raditz yelled, " _What is wrong with people?!_ I'm not even into dating, I'm just a soldier trying not to die in every damn mission and you're telling me people write that shit?! I have two assholes lording it over me that they're Saiyan elite, I don't time for some harem of girls that want to jump on my dick!"

Oh boy, wait until I told him about shotacon. Actually, no, best not to. I was _way_ more interested into what he said about dating.

"You're... not into dating?"

"I'm in Frieza Force just trying to survive, weakling, I don't have time."

"Oh, you're like me. I'm aromantic."

"...Humans have a word for that?" Raditz suddenly seemed a bit more pleased. "Like, an actual word?"

"Yeah, if you don't feel romantic attraction, you're aromantic. If you don't feel sexual attraction, you're asexual. I'm both of those things."

"Humans have _words_ for that? Damn... Gonna have to start using that."

Something of a small moment hung in the air, like a small bonding moment. But it didn't last. I had only just begun turning a villain into a hero, the road still stretched out ahead.

* * *

A/N: I didn't know if I should ship raditz so I'm not gonna, just gonna say he isn't much interested in romance. Cause its convenient. And because I dont wanna bring in Launch


	4. Ding Dong Medication Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/n: I love how the first arc of this is literally gonna be "(y/n) needs meds and allies"

"Captains log, Day Two. I've been training with Raditz for a month."

I lay on my couch with a face mask on, my hair in a towel.

"Someone _please_ help me. I took a self care day today because _holy fuck_ , it's getting bad. Raditz, he's... Okay, I guess, still acts like he'll just join his Saiyan squad in a year. But _I am running out of my goddamn medication!_ And I don't have a prescription, so... I wonder, could I kidnap a doctor and force them to write me one? Probably... Wait, that might not work."

I shut my phone off, cleaned up, and went to the back of my ship, where Raditz had taken to sulking in his free time.

"Oi, I got a problem, you wanna help with it or sulk?"

"Sulk."

"Fuck you."

So, Raditz wasn't helping me. Understandable, but wasn't that a bitch? I guess character development took a while in between those really pivotal anime moments. What do do about my medication, though...?

I would figure something out. Meanwhile, I wondered what Quartz was up to.

* * *

Sitting curled up next to a tree stump, Quartz stared at a colorful bird.

"Hi, I'm Quartz!"

The bird promptly flew away at the sound of a voice, making Quartz pout. They never understood him! Could he learn to speak animal? Was that a thing? Maybe Mommy would know. Either way, Quartz picked up his coat and began walking back to Mommy's ship. She would know.

He then heard a strange voice, a stumble, and a shout. Someone fell from the bushes, a woman Quartz didn't know. 

"Fockin hell!"

"Um, are you okay, miss?"

Quartz helped the woman to her feet, noticing that her legs weren't actually legs. They were... Metal legs! Thick metal legs! He stared in awe up at her, seeing a shock of messy green hair and freckles over an impish face.

"Oh, thanks, mate! Bloody hell, these new legs are a lot to deal with, still..."

"Wow... You must be a strong robot lady! I'm Quartz! What's your name?"

"[A-Aventurine](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1CAgMjazrQJaEC1ougLv5Kb40PKec_KdB/view?usp=sharing)? Uh, are you out here alone? Is that safe?"

"Huh? Oh, Mommy lives near here! Her and her new Saiyan friend aren't getting along so well, but they're gonna be good friends, I know they will!"

Aventurine narrowed her eyes, brushing dirt off her clothes.

"Saiyans...? Hey, little man, can you take me to your mum?"

"Yeah, follow me, miss Aventurine!"

Quartz grabbed Aventurine's hand and led her through the forest, back to Mommy's ship.

* * *

I was half considering just kidnapping a doctor for meds when Quartz stumbled back with a strange lady. Yet _another_ thing not in canon. I couldn't sense any sort of power level coming from her, like at all. An android?

"Quartz...?" I stood up, looking at this mystery lady.

"Mommy, this is Aventurine!" Quartz yelled, running to get a snack, probably fruit snacks. Leaving me with miss Aventurine. I stuck out a hand, and she shook it.

"Bloody hell, he's an energetic one. Said there was a Saiyan here... Is his name Ruga, by any chance?"

"Not in the slightest, his name is Raditz."

Aventurine pouted, crossing her arms. I noticed that her legs were metal prosthetics. Kinda cool looking.

"Damn... Me dad was a Saiyan that left, according to me mum. She didn't take well to him leaving her, I think it was cause he had health problems and didn't want to die on her. Or something, bloody hell. Anyway, uh, if he isn't me dad, then I should go..."

"Wait!" I interrupted her before she could leave. "You're part Saiyan, right? I... I need some help."

That made her turn around to look at me, a little smile on her face.

"What kind of help, eh?"

"So, uh, there's kind of a Saiyan invasion upon us. Still not sure if Raditz will leave me for them once they get here, but... I could use an ally that won't ditch me."

"And what's in it for me, huh?"

"Uh... The planet having less of a chance of being sold. And us most likely dying."

Aventurine turned to the side, pondering her options. She soon turned back to me with a nod.

"What the bloody hell, why not? I don't know much about fighting, you two blokes are gonna have to teach me."

"Great, I can work with this! Also, sort of side project... I'm running low on this medication I need, if I miss it, expect me to _really_ be out of it."

"Let me see it."

I gave her the two bottles, letting her inspect the labels. After a few seconds, she tossed them back to me.

"Aight, mate, I can make some of those, give me a week or so."

"Wait... You can make those?"

"Well..." Aventurine rubbed the back of her head. "I have to make my own meds, too."

"Oh, what kind?"

"They're really weird. They're specially made for my lungs, I have a lung disease. It isn't really a permanent solution, just stalls for time. That's why I'm up and about. Tell you what, I'll get you your meds, and you'll help me with the permanent solution."

"Which is?" I asked.

"Healing factor. Even a little idea would be nice."

I pondered for a few seconds. A healing factor... Something in Dragon Ball had healing factors!

"I think I can help. Can it wait until after the invasion? It's in less than a year."

"Oh, I have another good two years, I think. Now, I'll just need one of each of those little pills, and I'll come back here tomorrow for... Training?"

I nodded, giving Aventurine what she needed and watching her leave. I made a new friend. A nice new friend. Maybe the incoming apocalypse wouldn't be so fucked up after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/n: So, I'm gonna update this on fridays and weekends once a week, I now have a job and need more time to prep chapters for both here, Wattpad, and AO3


	5. There's Only Soup

"...(Y/n)?"

The very next day, early in the morning, I heard Raditz call me from outside. 

"Huh?"

"There's a power level out there."

Oh, he was right, there was. It felt... Not the worst vibes, but not very good ones. I soon sniffed the air, smelling something good wafting from the trees.

"Holy shit... Now I'm just hungry."

"Same." Raditz shrugged. "Should we check it out, weakling?"

"Fine, but how long are you gonna call me weakling?"

"Probably forever. It kinda suits you."

"Oh, fuck you."

We both followed the power level, and the scent of food. Soon enough, we found a small house, the door open. That had to be the source of the powerful scent. Sitting on the doorstep was a woman, slurping up a bowl of soup. She turned to look at us, eyes ringed with dark circles.

Whatever that soup was, it smelled amazing. I had to get a recipie.

"...Need something?" The woman asked in a rough voice.

"Uh, just smelled your food-" I began.

"-And sensed your power level. You strong?" Raditz finished.

The woman rolled her eyes and stood up, gestruing for us to come inside. We did, seeing her spoon out two more bowls of soup. She talked as she did so.

"Yeah, sure, I guess... Not the strongest. But I can handle myself. Why? Also... Here, you two look hungry, have some."

"Soup? That isn't really..." I muttered. "Breakfast food."

"Food is food. Come on, it's fresh... I'm [Druzy](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1CT15HlqgkLQATvhZZUCpwWS2ytH0rzA7/view?usp=sharing), by the way."

She set out some spoons, Raditz and I both poking at it a bit. Some vegetables, a fragrant broth, some chunks of meat. I took a sip of some broth and vegetables. Holy shit, this was amazing! Nodding to Raditz, we both began to dig in.

"Like it?" Druzy asked.

"Huh? Yeah, I've been living off pizza rolls for a while." I nodded, seeing Druzy roll her eyes in mock disgust.

"Ugh, trash food. Anyway, why'd you ask if I was strong? I mean... The tail and all, obviously that one's a Saiyan. You wanna fight, or something? Get your little fighting fix in?"

At that, a brown tail unfurled from her waist. I realized her silver hair might just be dyed, seeing the faint growth of new brown hair under it. Raditz stopped eating for a second, before shrugging.

"Yeah, this idiot here has a whole plan to stop a Saiyan invasion from two of the strongest Saiyan elites I know. Nothing special."

Druzy growled, a sword materializing in her hands. I knew that... Magic Materialization! She must know a little bit of magic. She slammed it into the table, a crooked smile on her face.

"Oh hell no! Lady, you got my help, whether you like it or not. I don't want no one bothering me and my uncle again."

I chewed nervously, giving a thumbs up. Well, another ally couldn't hurt. And one that could cook, too! I could learn something from her. Speaking of food...

"I mean, thanks? I can explain all that later, but I meant to ask... What's the recipie for this?"

At that, Druzy laughed. I began to feel uncomfortable, not taking another bite. Come to think of it... Everything else was normal, but what was this meat? I looked over to Raditz, who had also stopped eating.

"Oh, that's simple. Some vegetables, a bit of flour, some broth. The meat is the tricky bit. Find someone who isn't skinny, but doesn't work out a whole lot. And never, ever, eat Saiyan. Tried it once, it's disgusting in comparison to human.

_Fuck me gently with a chainsaw._

* * *

Aventurine made her way back to the ship, seeing that (Y/n) wasn't there yet. Just Quartz playing outside with that oversized, talking cat.

"Miss Aventurine! Mommy left, she'll be back soon!"

"Oh, blimey..." Aventurine shrugged, sitting next to Quartz and Heather. "Hope the lass is alright."

* * *

"...There's human in this?" I finally coughed out. Druzy rolled her eyes, taking both the bowls and finishing them.

"Throw up outside. Like I said, you got my help whether you like it or not."

"Wait, how do you know what Saiyan tastes like?" Raditz then asked, and I wasn't sure I wanted to know the answer.

"...Cause I ate one? Duh? It was my mom, though... My mom was a bitch, she deserved to die. I figured, why let her body go to waste? But I soon figured that I should have... Ugh, the chewiness was just awful. Tasted like-"

I left before I could hear the rest, Raditz and I walking away a good distance before I went and threw up.

"Oh my god, we ate a people stew! Ewwww! I'm gonna get a fucking brain prion!"

"A _what_?" Raditz asked.

"There's a _medical_ reason why humans don't eat humans, Raditz. But..." My mind drifted back to the onset of those black wings from when I fought Raditz. Was I even still human? Would I still get a brain prion if I wasn't human?

"Okay, either way, weakling, what do we do about that crazy bitch? Look, I'm still not totally sold about this planet and being a goog guy, but I'm not _that_ bad, right?" He asked.

"Ugh, no you're not! Why'd it taste so good?"

"Why would you admit that it tasted _good_ , idiot?!"

"I don't know! I need this taste out of my mouth!"

After a bit of silence, Raditz spoke up again, this time nothing insulting.

"Okay, here... What's that place you like? The sevens and elevens?"

"...You mean 7-Eleven? Are you suggesting we get slushies to wash out this taste?"

"I mean, you like it! I'll do anything to get this out of my mind, okay?"

I nodded, flying into the air and clutching my head. At that moment, black wings burst from my back again. There they were again! Raditz and I stared at them, until we both flew off to 7-Eleven. I bought us both slushies and we sat on top of the roof, slupring them down like madmen. The wings didn't disappear, still just barely semi transparent.

"Okay, seriously," Raditz soon asked, "What is with the wings?"

"I don't know. Not in canon... Speaking of, we gotta start planning for that. Vegeta has a whole redemption arc, but it's kinda dependent on Goku and Bulma being around. Both of whom I can't find."

"...Goku?"

"Kakarot, sorry. Damn, where did they go? We should investigate that. Unless they're just conveniently gone with no explanation, there might be an actual reason for their disappearance... Like, aside from them being deleted with no real explanation. If that's so, could affect things."

"Well, you got an idea of where to start?"

I tried to think for a second. Maybe start with something that happened in Dragon Ball? Something I could investigate somewhat easily.

"...The Red Ribbon Army was canonically destroyed by Goku. Except for Gero. Maybe I can start there. Gah, I don't have the original Dragon Ball for you to watch, it was Goku's adventures as a kid. But that's really my only idea. It doesn't look like they're still around, so if he didn't do it, who did? Unless he did, in that case, I'll look into the World Martial Arts Tournament that happened after."

I needed to solidly investigate this, for real. I guess Raditz was down to help, since he was nodding.

"Alright. You lead the way, weakling... Also, this is really good. This slushie thing."

"I know, right?"

I should get him a red scrunchie.


	6. So, Canon Protagonists?

Later on that week, I handed Raditz a red scrunchie. I realized I should have told him that it was for his hair, because he wore it on his wrist. Well, I decided to wear a blue one.

Now we could be Heather and Veronica. Best friends and worst enemies.

"Alright, uh, Raditz?" I spoke up. "I'm gonna start looking into the RRA and stuff, if you wanna help."

"Huh? Yeah, sure... How strong are they?"

"We could beat them if they still exist, but I don't think they do... Well, come on, let's go-"

At that, a loud banging came from my door. I opened it to see Druzy holding a loaf of warm bread, a crooked smile on her face.

"Oi, you. Made this for you. Consider it an apology for feeding you human."

 _Oh, I'm sorry for tricking you into general cannibalism, here's a loaf of bread._ I took it and set it aside, letting her in as well.

"...Thanks, Druzy."

"Yeah, it's a sourdough. Hey, uh, where's Aventurine? Been tryna teach her and all... She ever tell you about her mom?"

"No, not really."

"Hah!" Druzy slammed a hand on the table. "You missed out! Her mom was a scientist, a member of that Red Ribbon Army! You know, the one that got slaughtered, and no one knows who did it? Like, to the man? Her mom might be the only one that got out alive! Wild shit, huh?"

 _The one that got slaughtered and no one knows who did it._ Druzy, you may never understand how wrong that sounds to my ears. I nodded nervously, turning to the bread.

"I'll, uh, have to ask her, I guess..."

"Alright... I'm gonna go. Making me a casserole."

Druzy left, and I immediately turned to Raditz and grabbed a notebook. He seemed to get the memo too, walking up beside me.

"Okay, Aventurine might know something! But this... This doesn't sound like Goku. I can't tell if it's just the way Druzy was inclined to describe it, but..."

"He was probably strong enough to defeat this army, it could have been him..."

"Raidtz, Goku showed _mercy_ to people and valued a fair fight, kinda why he healed one of the main villains. He doesn't... Slaughter people, like Druzy said. It's just a hunch, but I think we're off canon again. Gah, we really gotta assume that, beyond Frieza, everything's off the rails and we can only really base progression on vague parallels."

Raditz stayed silent, looking away for a second. I knew that look, I had seen it in my own eyes. In the eyes of my friends from before all this. Crossing my arms, I sat next to him.

"...You okay?" I asked.

"Its just... I still can't wrap my head around it. You're from a world where I'm just... A character? Someone that was just thrown aside? Hell, everyone here is a character? Like Vegeta, Nappa, Frieza, Kakarot... They were all just fictional to you?"

Oh. That made sense. That made a lot of sense.

"I know... Its fucked. I wish it wasn't like this. Like, I wish I was normal... Wish you got more screen time and more character. But at least that second one's coming true. Right?"

Raditz turned to me and put a hand on my shoulder. Not in an affectionate way. Somehow, I could tell the difference. 

"You know... I've kinda been cold to you. Truth be told, I was really just trying to work all those things you said though my head... But the way I figure, you're never going back, right?"

"Yeah?"

"So, what's the point in overthinking it? I mean, a higher power transporting people through dimensions is probably only the third weirdest thing about this world."

Okay, he was actually right. Between Zamasu being the littlest of bitches, Zeno in general, and the staggering amount of times Goku could burst though his own limits... Perhaps being thrown through dimensions was not that weird.

"I... I guess you're right."

"Well, duh, weakling..." Raditz got up. "Come on. Let's find my brother."

"So, does this mean you're... Gonna join me?"

"... Okay, you got me. Vegeta and Nappa are gonna kill me, so what's the point trying to kiss their asses?"

I laughed loudly and got up to get my bat, and find Aventurine. Well, now I could rest easier, knowing Raditz was on my side.

* * *

"Oh, go through the basement for me mums files. I don't poke around in there, but you're welcome to."

Aventurine let me and Raditz into a small house, going back to a TV and stitching up a cut on her upper thigh, which was all that was left of her legs. A door led to a set of stairs leading downwards. Raditz and I walked down into a dusty basement, seeing a metal operating table and rows upon rows of filling cabinets.

This would take a while. 

"Okay, uh..." I turned to Raditz. "I take the far wall, you take the close one."

"Got it."

What felt like hours and hours of mind numbing searching ensued. Half of the files didnt make sense, a lot of them scrapped android designs with countless edits and scratched out words. So Aventurine's mother was at least _trying_ to make androids... I read the name 'Morganite Jacinth', figuring that was her name. 

It seemed like Morganite never made an android from scratch, only really succeeding in fixing Aventurine's ability to walk and making her a set of legs. Alongside that were countless diagrams labeled as 'healing factor' prototypes, designs never going beyond an early stage. This had to be for Aventurine's lungs. Or, well, she was always referred to as 'Aven' in the diagrams.

That really was less of a mouthful.

The rest of the files looked like what she was working on under the RRA. Seemed really basic and low level, but I wasn't really a tech person so I couldn't tell. Didn't Druzy say something like that about Aven' mom?

Either way, my side of the wall had little fruit. I turned to see Raditz looking over another file, reading it intently.

"You good, man?" I asked.

"...I think I found something. Let me guess, the name ' _Zira Kyokia_ ' isn't in canon."

"Nope." Wow, Raditz really figured out what canon meant really quickly. "What's it say?"

"I think she killed my brother."


	7. A Convenient Way To Kill Off The Protagonists So You Can Replace Them With Your Own

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Okay, I dont care if this is spoilers. Quartz is eventually gonna come out as a trans girl. I say this because if you dont like trans people for whatever reason you are welcome to hit that back button. Specifically aimed at transphobes, TERFS, and whatnot. If yall can't handle trans people then let me tell you about clownfish, hagfish, and just the fuckery of human chromosomes
> 
> Okay small rant over enjoy the chapter

A few hours had transpired of me reading through and analyzing what Raditz found in Aven's house. This included the file he initially found, a few USB drives of data, and at least three more files of paper we found later on. 

His side had all the good stuff, mine was just boring. But I figured it out, and finally pieced it all together, with help from some Google searches to fact check a few things. Which led me to wake up Raditz, Quartz, and Heather at 3AM, slushies in hand, with my whiteboard next to me. 

These three were the ones trusted with the big Secret: That this world was an anime. Therefore, they would be the only ones to know. For now.

"Alright, listen up! To summarize what I have found: Goku, aka Kakarot, was murdered. As were his friends, Yamcha and Bulma. Those two were killed immediately, while Goku was spared for a short time. However, he was not the only one."

I began writing down a list of dead people.

"It seems like Master Roshi was somehow killed, I can't _fucking_ believe it. As were Tien and Chiaoutzu, but they were killed shortly before Goku, who lived the longest out of everyone in the Protagonist group. This all happened _after_ the first World Martial Arts Tournament in the series and _before_ the second one, and I suspect that's how the killer caught wind of Goku and his friends. However... Who did it?"

I erased everything and wrote down one word. _Zira_.

"From what Raditz found, this was done by a scientist not in the RRA, Zira Kyokia. She must have deemed Yamcha and Bulma to be useless for her experiments, which is why she killed them. As for everyone else, she ran these... Experiments on them. They all resulted in eventual death, Goku living the longest and eventually being killed. How she actually got her hands on them leads into how she destroyed the Red Ribbon Army."

I pulled up a set of news articles on my nearby laptop and let everyone read them, also setting forth recovered files from Aven's house.

"She has a total of three people working for her. That's all I could find, that's all the news reported, that's all Morganite had. Three people work for her. I can only assume they're androids. But they have to be strong, or clever enough to take on those stronger than them. They took out the Red Ribbon Army shortly after Morganite left. And they made a point, a _specific_ effort, to kill Gero. I'm not even kidding, he was the absolute _first_ to die. They made sure he was dead before moving on. Zira had to have seen Gero as a rival and wanted him dead by any means necessary."

It got worse. It got so much worse.

"From the Red Ribbon Army, Zira learned about the Dragon Balls. It seems like her three workers must have found King Piccolo, and killed him before he could split into the final reincartion of Piccolo, the main one. Which means Kami is dead, which means... No fucking Dragon Balls at the moment."

I then began to sum up everything I just talked about.

"So, this woman named Zira is behind the disappearance of all the canon protagonists. I checked online, Bulma and Yamcha are both declared dead. We have no Dragon Balls because King Piccolo died and took Kami with him. The RRA, including Gero, was brutally murdered by three people who seem to do Zira's dirty work. Morganite, Aventurine's mother, was the only one who survived because she left the RRA and went into hiding. I don't have a solid answer as to why she was tracking Zira and collecting this info... Maybe just to see what was behind all this. Maybe she was scared. It doesn't say. Morganite managed to get her hands on some of Zira's experimental data, on some flash drives... It's horrifying stuff."

Shaking my head, I tried to comprehend the fact that Goku was dead and he was _not_ coming back. Sure, I made fun of him, but this wasn't Goku from Dragon Ball Super. This was a kid. 

"Safe to say that Zira knows what Saiyans are and how they work. I can't tell if she knows there's an impending invasion, but we need to assume she doesn't. From what I can tell, Zira is the replacement to Gero and the Android arcs, and she seems much, much worse..."

That was it, that was my presentation and it better at least earn me a C. Part of me wondered if any of them figured out anything during that 3AM craze.

Raditz was the first to raise his hand.

"So... Do we go after her?"

"Hell no! She's an Android Saga level villain, to put it simply. I say, no matter what happens here with Vegeta and Nappa, we go to Namek and kill Frieza. Maybe get a wish, too."

So, we could scratch the Missing Protagonist mystery off the list. The next big one was The Mystery Of The Wings. But the weird black wings that occasionally burst forth during training could come at another time.

For now, I fell onto my bed and fell asleep as everyone shuffled out.

* * *

It was a lovely day on my ship when I woke up the next morning, and I yanked out a half gallon of chocolate milk. I had been hit with a stroke of genius. Absolute fucking genius. 

"Raditz, check this shit out!"

As Raditz walked into the kitchen, I proceeded to grab a mug and a packet of hot chocolate mix, pour the mix into the mug, and then pour the chocolate milk into the mug as well. Mixing thoroughly, I put that shit into the microwave.

"(Y/n), what are you doing this time?"

"This is progress, Raditz. Making hot chocolate with chocolate milk! We have created... Ultra Chocolate!"

Raditz stared at me for a good three seconds before just utterly bursting into laughter. I had yet to make him do such a thing, so seeing this... It brought me pride.

"You... You are so fucking stupid, (Y/n). Like, really, you come up with something stupid and your first instinct is to tell me about it?"

"We're friends. So yeah, you get Ultra Chocolate."

The microwave dinged, and I proceeded to yank out a scaling hot mug and drink a mouthful of Ultra Chocolate. Oh god. What have I done? I'm gonna become a fucking Easter Bunny with the amount of chocolate I just consumed.

"...Well? Is it any good?" Raditz asked.

"It's... It's amazing. More! Let's make more!"

"(Y/n), no."

"(Y/n), yes!"

There was no stopping me. Saiyans be damned, Ultra Chocolate needed to be shared with the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/n: and thus, Ultra Chocolate has been born. Remember this. You can forget my very obvious foreshadowing but remember Ultra Chocolate


	8. One More New Person

I regret everything. Quartz took one sip of the Ultra Chocolate and had ran off, only to come back with a litter of baby kittens from the woods.

"Quartz, what?" I asked.

"The mommy was dead!"

"I... Okay, fine, let's clean them up and get them food."

At that point, Raditz walked out of the bathroom after spending an entire half hour blow drying his hair, only to see me and Quartz with a litter of kittens. 

"Do I want to know?"

"No, go finish blow drying your long ass hair."

It was at that moment that a loud ass crash startled everyone in our ship. Now, it was still a good three months before the invasion was scheduled. So what the fuck was this?

Raditz and I went to investigate, seeing a ditch outside. A ditch leading to a crater, a crater that nestled a pod. 

Fuck, was the invasion early? But the power level, the vibes, they weren't _evil_ vibes. They were nice vibes. Couldn't be some evil, blood hungry capitalists. The door to the pod opened, and out stumbled... You guessed it! Yet _another_ person not in canon! Wow, so amazing! How could _anyone_ have guessed?

Worn armor, _very_ worn armor. Messy back hair with one white streak, and a brown tail. Another fucking Saiyan, except this one has pretty hair. Wow, such amazing design. Granted, I looked like a schoolgirl that became a Jojo villain.

"...Hello?" The guy called out, seeing me and Raditz.

"'Sup? You wanna join our cool group?" I then asked.

"He _just_ landed, weakling, couldn't you wait to recruit him?"

"No, Raditz, I could _not_ wait."

The guy made his way over to us, looking to Raditz and stepping backwards a bit.

"...Is he one of Frieza's guys?"

"Nah, not anymore. I really need new armor, but this place ain't got any."

Yeah, no shit, Raditz, you wear the same armor every day and just wash it periodically.

"Oh, good, I... Uh... Just ran away from Frieza's army. My name's Tsuki."

"I'm (Y/n)." I shook hands with Tsuki. "So, uh, about Frieza... Some of his goons are gonna come here in a few months. I dunno if you wanna help me and my squad put with it, but it's a fair warning-"

"Stop right there!" Tsuki held up a hand. "I'm in!"

"You... are?" I asked, looking to Raditz to see him just as surprised as me.

"Yeah, I... I need... Friends, I guess."

That was easy. Looks like the squad was one member stronger. Speaking of the squad... we needed a name.

The Crackheads were long gone, this squad name would be the herald of something new.

* * *

"What the hell is a _'meme'_?"

"Raditz, Tsuki, I'll make you a separate slideshow on meme history later. Anyway, cast your votes on the three we've narrowed it down to, since you two, Quartz, and Heather are the only meme-ignorant people here."

After throwing out suggestions like "JoBros From Hell", "The Uncredibles", "Hoes Against Homophobia", "The 7-Eleven Sluts", "The Renegade Pearls/Rubies", and "The Bad Bitchigans", we had our contenders. All of which were made by me, Aven, and Druzy, once I had gotten them here to meet Tsuki.

  * The House Of Memelords
  * The Unseelie Court
  * The Alien Protection Squad



After votes were cast, I looked at which one got the most. Three choices, four voters. And it was...

"Unseelie Court wins. Goddamn, we are gonna get cursed by the fae."

"What happens with that?" Raditz asked.

"Usually you lose your kids and then fall asleep for a thousand years in a fairy circle. Don't fuck with the fae. And don't fuck with us. All we need now is a group chat... But then we'd need to get Tsuki and Raditz both phones."

Druzy raised her hand, grinning a little. I almost feared whatever suggestion she had. I still didn't know how to approach the whole cannibal thing... Maybe she'd be like the Vegeta here. Speaking of whom... Nah, probably not gonna spare him if there isn't a Bulma.

"Don't worry about that, I'll get them phones."

"With what bloody money, eh?" Aven asked.

"Don't _worry_ about it. Anyway, you all want something to eat?"

Tsuki almost raised his hand until Raditz pulled it down. Seeing no one, Druzy shrugged and left with a laugh. She was on our side, that didn't make her any less of a sick creep.

"Alright, uh..." I shrugged, leaning back into my chair. "Tsuki, where you gonna go?"

"I can let you chill with me, mate. Not like I eat food." Aven raised her hand, Tsuki lighting up with a smile.

"Really? God, thanks... Where do you live?"

Aven and Tsuki left, leaving me with just Raditz and Heather once Quartz scrambled off to the new kittens. I immediately slumped over the table.

"I swear, your group gets stranger every day." Heather purred, grooming her fur. "I mean, I'd half expect your theme songs to all be edgy nightcore."

"Edgy what?" Raditz asked, again.

"It's music, but at a higher pitch. That's it. Also associated with anime. You know what, yes, that's our theme. Edgy nightcore."

I began making a playlist of all the edgy nightcore I currently had saved on my phone, letting Raditz listen to some. 

"I swear, I learn more about this batshit wild planet than I do about fighting."

"You think _this_ version of Earth is wack. Mine has America. Picture this place, but a shitty government."

"Sounds like a _lot_ of planets I've been to."

"Ugh. At least this one's unified with healthcare that isn't designed for corporate greed. In fact, less things are designed for corporate greed here. Like, there's no billionaires. Not even one. Like, I don't have to work three jobs for college. It isn't free, but its affordable here..."

"College?" Raditz asked, again.

"Something you can do to train for specific jobs. In my world, it was super expensive. And there was a scandal about rich people bribing their way into the top tier ones or some shit, as if they don't just excuse _rapists_ if they're white and have a promising future. Honestly, rich people here are so nice in comparison to the ones in my world. Those fuckers have the money to fix shit ten times over, and just _don't_."

Raditz nodded, propped up on one elbow and avidly listening to this tea.

"Tell all, weakling."

"Okay, how about we start with this one city with poison water? That would be a slap on the wrist to fix, but none of the rich people will do because, you know, fuck poor people? And let's not forget PETA's bitchass trying to make the people go vegan just for fresh water, as if veganism is so cruelty free when buying local is a fucking option! You know who farms your quinoa, Susan?!"

This would be a long rant, but at least I'd sleep like a baby after.

* * *

A/N: I made a meme history slideshow for this fic, you can check it out [here](https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/1F17XmXklfvHQwDzaYe02pLpmZ3kDQnI1-YW8MIqecY8/edit?usp=sharing)

Yes I spend too much time on this. The presentation is by no means perfect, its just how I saw memes change over time looking back on the 2010's. Its not in a note since I need the link


	9. The Half-Naked Guy At Dennys

RoseGold: _raditz lemme guess (y/n) picked your name_

RedScrunchie: _you can name yourself? Also which one are you?_

RoseGold: _druzy_

SoftSpaceBoy: _why am I soft????_

RoseGold: _I'm gonna assume that's you tsuki, and yes, you are soft. I've spent like five minutes with you and you are without a doubt the softest cinnamon roll in this stupid group_

DeadassAutomail: _Oi you bloody idiots get back to (y/n)'s ship we're going out to eat, druzy you're paying right_

RoseGold: _I am the only one here who makes money so yeah. By the way, for Tsuki and Raditz, that's Aventurine. (Y/n) is MythicBitch._

RedScrunchie: _why in the almighty hell does this thing have so much music and why is so much of it labeled Undertale_

DeadassAutomail: _I'm pretty sure (y/n) uploaded all the music she had onto your phone since you're not from earth. Probably something good in there_

RoseGold: _aven are you not gonna bring up how he's discovered undertale?_

DeadassAutomail: _nah_

SoftSpaceBoy: _I'm flying over to (y/n)'s ship!_

MythicBitch: _you idiots better hurry we're going to the pinnacle of food chains today and you will be blessed_

RedScrunchie: _where are we going now weakling, also why am I using this to text you when you're sitting two feet away from me_

MythicBitch: _welcome to having a phone raditz, don't let the boomers think it's bad to have one. Everyone get here quick. Druzy's paying_

DeadassAutomail: _druzy what do you even do to make money, and I swear on me mum if its selling human meat_

RoseGold: _my uncle sells fully robotic androids on the black market. dont worry they arent capable of combat im not making an army. I should mention, you know that zira lady (Y/n) and raditz were on about? My uncle knows some rumors if you wanna hear them, it aint much tho. But she definitely knows about at least me tho. Of course I dont sell human meat, I dont even eat it that much, just on occasion_

RedScrunchie: _is this something you can just text over or do you have to say it in person_

RoseGold: _its real quick, essentially he knows she's making androids like his, just capable of combat. He thought she'd be competition in his business, but no. It was real weird. She isn't selling them like he is. Which is strange. It's a good way to make money, but that's not what she's trying to do. I can't wrap my head around it. As for the three androids she's got doing her dirty work, I got nothing. Could just be fully robotic ones._

MythicBitch: _druzy this is absolutely something to be said in person what the fuck_

RoseGold: _yeah okay whatever lets go eat_

SoftSpaceBoy: _wait there's a lady making androids??????????_

RoseGold: _theres three if you also count me and my uncle_

DeadassAutomail: _Did none of you bloody idiots tell Tsuki about this?_

RedScrunchie: _we can explain later_

* * *

"Is that guy half naked, weakling?"

"Welcome to Dennys."

I got the whole squad together and sat us down at a large Denny's table. I was counting down the days until the invasion, and this was my army. Raditz, a former space pirate that knew of my existential crisis; Quartz, my bastard munchkin that was absolutely not pulling a Gohan and becoming scarred for life; Aven, a loose lipped Brit with cool metal legs; Druzy, a literal cannibal that I hoped would become better with some help; and Tsuki, the new addition that had quickly become the Unseelie Court's biggest sweetheart.

"Oh my god, what's a pancake?" Tsuki asked, looking at all the food options. "It looks so... So good."

"This is a Denny's, don't expect the best. It's just cheap."

I just ordered something off the kids menu for Quartz, watching everyone except for Aven order a shit ton of food.

"Aven? You're not hungry?" Druzy asked.

"I'm kind of a bloody cyborg. I don't need food and this bill is gonna be big enough as it is with you three Saiyans."

With that, Aven took out an unmarked bottle of pills and swallowed two. I almost forgot she had medication she made herself, for her lungs. We had a smart science lady, at least. That was comforting.

"Hey, Aven..." I asked. "Are you gonna refill my meds? I missed mine today, I know you can only make so much in one batch."

"Oh, fockin hell, I screwed them up!" Aven rubbed her face with her hand, shaking her head. "I can have them in a few days, will you live without them? I know it's not life or death for you, it's just Adderall and Zoloft, right? You can live at least a day?"

"I will, it'll just... Not be fun."

Eventually, our food came, while I was busy helping Raditz figure out what all the apps on his new phone did. It was a slow process, but at least it was moving. Really, all he'd need it for would be the Discord server we made. Which meant he had to remember what the Discord icon looked like.

"Oop... Food's here. Oh boy, I can smell the quality already."

"Which is?" Raditz asked.

"Cheap."

Halfway through eating, I choked. And so did everyone else, except for Aven, who glance around at everyone.

It dawned on me... She couldn't sense power levels.

"What? What?" Aven asked.

"...Raditz, those are the most disgusting vibes I have ever sensed. Those our boys?"

"Sure are. We gotta go, and we gotta go fast."

We all rushed out of the Dennys, Druzy promising she'd come back and pay for it later. After telling Quartz to run home and hide, we all took off into the air, following those vile vibes.

I slyly pulled out my phone and pulled up a song, and only then did I notice the return of my wings. It had sure been a while, summoning them on command was still a work in progress. Tsuki looked at me, recognition sparking in his eyes.

"Those are... Those are Kyrean wings! I didn't know you weren't an Earthling!"

"Ky-what?" So, not _only_ did we have non-canon people, we had non-canon _races_.

"I can explain after this fight!"

Probably for the best. Our squad reached a pair of smoking craters, and before either one of our favorite capitalist pigs could step out, I hit play on my phone as the Soviet National Anthem began to blare at full volume.

"You won't take this planet for your imperial overlord, pigs!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/n: I gave (Y/n) wings purely because Red Bull gives you wiiiiiiiings


	10. Long Live The Soviet Union

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry my ass was too tired to post a chapter for so long (it was two days but whatever)
> 
> But I got my binder finally

"...Please tell me that isn't who I think it is."

"Nappa, we can all hear you. Are you talking about me or her?"

Raditz pointed at me, who held my phone up as Aven and Druzy struggled to contain their laughter. Mainly because I had the anthem on loop.

"Both. Vegeta, look. It's Trench. Should have figured she didn't just disappear for a year.

I _forgot_ about my cringe ass persona. Turning off the music, I grabbed my bat and held it over my shoulder, shaking my head as Vegeta stepped his short ass out.

"Hey, he looks like Eyeball Ruby." Aven pointed at Vegeta and his red scouter, and it clicked. He was Eyeball Ruby. Amazing. Ignoring that, though, I turned back to Nappa and narrowed me eyes. Oh god. I couldn't stop myself from this joke. Oh god oh fuck.

"Heh, you had a whole year and this was all you could get together? A traitor and a couple of nobodies?" Nappa mocked. "You don't look like you could take on even the lower ranked soldiers."

"And _you_ don't look like you're allowed within 200 feet of children, yet here we are."

The absolutely offended look from Nappa just made it funnier, as well as Raditz howling with laughter. 

"What the hell did you just say to me, weakling?!"

"She's right, Nappa. Really, shave the mustache, that's what's really doing it." Raditz managed to get out between his laughing.

"Like you're one to say anything." Vegeta chimed in, egotistical as usual. "You left us for that... That whore over there."

Oh, that was it. I gripped my baseball bat tighter and turned to Vegeta, shaking my head.

"We're not dating." Raditz and I both said at the same time.

I then noticed the weird plants. Turning into weird creatures. Green ones. They looked like they gave killer hugs. Explosively killer hugs. Oh, how'd I _not_ notice? Better question, who cared?

I would have stepped in, but Aven beat me to it. I then noticed her legs were blades this time, which she used to slice a Saibamen in half.

"Eww, that's disgusting!"

"I mean, they're plant based, so I can feed them to my uncle. He's a vegan."

"Druzy, do _not_ eat that, they're acidic."

"Like..." Druzy drew her sword, slashed one in half, and watched it corrode. "Oh, _that_ acidic. You right, you right... Aven, how are your legs not fucked?"

"Did you think I would bloody overlook corrosive damage when making these?"

I had just watched two of my friends wildly demolish the obnoxious plant monsters, and to no surprise, Vegeta and Nappa just didn't interfere. Of course, cause they wanted to see if the fight was fine. It was then that I decided...

Go big or go home. I grabbed my bat and yeeted my body, wings and all, towards Vegeta.

"Die, you corporate asswipes!"

* * *

I woke up in the healing pod and my first instinct was to drink the water, which I then realized was impossible since I had a mask over my mouth. And my clothes were off except for a sports bra, which was really starting to itch. 

Wait, wasn't I fighting?

How the fuck did I zone out of all of that? It happened five minutes ago! I then realized what had happened... I hadn't taken my meds so my ass decided to just delete everything that just happened from my memory because " _punch punch bat gun yeet we're defending the Earth from two canon characters we probably need to kill for good_ " apparently wasn't important enough to be filed away in "important memories".

Then again, what was? Depression made my memory shit anyway, and with my ADHD, the file of "important memories" was left to whatever gust of wind came by at any point in time to mess it up.

I was so wrapped in my thinking, I didn't notice Raditz tapping on the glass. Oh, look, another reason why I need my meds- Wait, no, don't focus on internal ranting, focus on Raditz.

"Hey, weakling, you awake?"

I tried to speak and it all came out as bubbles, so I squirmed and knocked my head against the glass. Raditz did me the favor of draining the healing pod and letting me out, and I fell face first into the floor and stayed there.

"...I don't remember shit, man."

"How the fuck do you _not_ remember? Okay, look, I know you weakened Vegeta a lot and he still got the upper hand on you, but what do you remember?"

"Attacking him."

"And?"

"...And yeah."

Raditz huffed, sitting next to me on the floor. I then noticed he had cracked armor and bandages over his body. Oop.

"So, every time you're off your meds, that happens?"

"It depends on which one of the four horsemen of my mental illnesses get to come out. Anxiety, depression, ADHD, and my newly found PTSD. So, yeah, maybe next time all I wanna do is lay in bed and wonder why I'm alive, or maybe I can't order food without feeling like I want to throw up. Or, you know... Dissociation and flashbacks."

"Okay, I understand none of that, moving on. They're both dead. Vegeta and Nappa. Druzy killed Nappa in some anger fueled rampage and there wasn't a lot left of him, but that was because he killed Tsuki-"

"Tsuki?! No! Cinnamon roll!" I turned onto my side and began to shake. Now we really had to go to Namek, even though he was just a friend of a few months to me.

"-Regardless, Druzy called Nappa ' _unfit for anyone's consumption, sapient or otherwise_ '. Also, at around that point, Vegeta wasn't doing shit once he knocked you out, but Aven had a coughing fit and passed out, so it was just me and Druzy against Vegeta."

Oh. Yeah. Aven and her lung illness. Was it getting worse? Put that on the list of ' _Why we need to go to Namek right now_ '.

"And... How'd that go?"

"Well," Raditz explained, "I kinda grabbed your bat and faced off against his little Galick Gun. I know I really didn't stand a chance with or without the bat, but... His attention was off of Druzy. So she got behind him and cut him in half. Like cleanly in half. Surprised she didn't eat them... Really gotta talk to her about that."

"Didn't she say she doesn't like Saiyan?"

"Point is, weakling, we have actual reasons to go to Namek, which we were going to do anyway because... Something something canon storyline we're gonna kill Frieza."

"You learn quick, Raditz."

I rolled up to my feet, brushing water off of me. Time to plan our next moves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/n: Considering that other than the characters being different the fight was generally the same, I'm not gonna write it out. I'm lazy, shoot me


	11. Aftermath

I got out of the healing pod room and immediately saw Aven wiping blood from her lips, with Druzy behind her making something to eat. Quartz ran to me and immediately gave me a hug, sobbing.

"Mommy! You're not dead!"

"Nope, not today, munchkin... Okay, you two, what happened after I went out?"

Druzy let out some howling laughter, setting a plate of spaghetti with pesto in front of me. 

"Haaaah! You missed the show! Tsuki's dead, Aven's dying, I stabbed two motherfuckers! That Vegeta guy bitched about it, too. Also gave some parting words to me..."

"Which were?"

"Uh..." Druzy thought for a second. "Said we'll never Frieza him, but we sure as hell could try. I wanna. Wonder if he tastes good."

"Druzy, do _not_ eat Frieza."

"But he'll be dead! I'm not wasting that flesh if there's a chance I'll like it!"

Something really had to be done about Druzy eating people. I decided that now was the perfect time.

"Okay... Druzy, this is an intervention. You have a problem with eating sapient beings and before we go to Namek, we're gonna at least address it as a group."

It seemed like the others got on board. Heather nudged Quartz outside and sat next to me, her tail swishing around. Druzy growled, crossing her arms.

"Ugh, it's not like I kill a lot of people! Sometimes I get hungry! And I've been hungry in the past!"

"Okay, uh..." I summoned my inner therapist to help me out here. "Let's start there. What happened there?"

"Oh, nothing, my mom and I had to eat too much and we were poor, and she wouldn't let us hunt or steal because it wasn't ethical to her. And god forbid I do anything she didn't agree with! So my human dad starved to death because of it! And she always told me that it was better that way, to die on a moral pedestal! And then I killed a classmate of mine after he pissed me of, so I burned his body, and... It smelled really good and I figured, what was the harm?"

"Okay, so, if I got this right, you eat people partially out of fear that you're going to starve, and partially because you want to antagonize your mother?"

"I ate her too. She tasted terrible. My uncle helped, he... He did a lot for me! My mom had me put in human jail, said that if I was her child, I would stay and repent for my crimes. I broke out and he took me in. He's been helping me with my victims, and I kinda pay him back. If someone he's selling androids to acts up, I take care of it."

"So, your uncle is manipulating you?"

"No! He isn't!"

"Druzy, he's feeding your addiction and your fear so he can use your power. He's no better than your mom. Look, you don't gotta make a choice now, but at the very least, get away from him. It sounds like he's letting you eat humans purely to get you to stay, to make you think he values you. It's a manipulation tactic."

Druzy looked half ready to throw a punch, but the other half looked like she was questioning everything she knew. I stepped outside, grabbing a Red Bull and sipping leisurely. Eventually, I heard Aven's metal feet clank behind me.

"Oi, mate... I can't come with."

"Is it your lung illness?"

"Yeah, it's... Its getting worse. I can't get this healing factor down. If I don't soon, I-"

I turned around and grabbed her by the shoulders.

"Aven. I have an idea. Namek is full of people with healing factors. If I brought one with... would it help?"

"Are you kidding me? Biological based healing factors? Please, mate, bring one back! I wouldn't really need much, I don't think..."

"Great. I'm gonna leave Quartz and Heather with you. Druzy and Raditz will come with. And... If you have time, could you do something for me?"

"Of course." Aven nodded, leaning back a bit. 

"You'll find everything I have on Zira in my room, take it with before I leave. Try and dig up something on her. She's bound to be a future problem..."

I had to prep for the android arc somehow. This seemed like a good way to get someone in the Unseelie Court informed about this strange villain.

"Aight, mate, I'll take it before you leave. Little tyke can stay at my house. Just... Be careful, alright?"

"I will. And if I die, he's in safe hands."

I went back to my room and got what Aven needed together. It still made me reel, the idea that Goku was just... Dead. No flashy ending. No Gohan. No heroic speech. No sacrifice. Just horrific, agonizing experimentation. He didn't deserve it. Goku had his faults, but he didn't deserve to die like that, not to mention that he had to have been a _child_ when it happened.

I could only imagine how alone he must have felt. This scared me worse than Gero. This woman, this Zira Kyokia, what could be her end goals? It could just be world domination. After all, she did take out the RRA to the man, Gero being one of the first to die. 

But could it be more? I was slowly realizing that this place was more in depth than Dragon Ball. I could find redemption in a cannibal. So could I find goals beyond domination in a villain? Beyond bloodlust and death? Well, that was why I asked Aven to investigate. Get some dirt on Zira and her true motives.

I stayed on the roof a little while longer, sipping on my Red Bull, and realized that I still fell asleep expecting to wake up in my father's apartment and go to school. How pitiful.


	12. How To Meet God In Three Easy Steps

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/n: MN doesnt have 7-Eleven it has Speedway but this does not spark joy so, like some parts of DBZ canon, I've elected to forego it
> 
> Also, TW for mentions/descriptions of attempted suicide, a summary will be at the end. If you have read Satire you may remember this being brought up briefly. 

I woke up in my bed at home. Oh, a school day, fan-fucking-tastic. Getting up, I packed my lunch and got my school shit together, putting on my uniform of a maroon shirt and black skirt. The snow crunched under my boots as I walked down a Minnesota street lit by streetlights at 7AM.

This felt wrong. I couldn't put my finger on why. Maybe I left something at home? No, that couldn't be right. Oh, I didn't take my meds! Fuck! Dennis and Nathan would lecture me again about it today...

That _wasn't_ what felt wrong. Halfway to the 7-Eleven, which stood halfway between my apartment and my school, I realized I wasn't supposed to be here. I was supposed to be in a _spaceship_. I tried to tug off my backpack, but it wouldn't budge, welded into my skin. As were my clothes.

"You'll never see this again."

A familiar bundle of a thousand voices made my heart sink. The snow froze, stalled from falling in midair, as I turned to face a being of starlight. Cracked, bleeding light, but Writer-San was all the same.

"...What do you want?" I asked.

"Oh, my dear, when will you learn that a li-"

"Fuck your lion and sheep shit. _What do you want_?"

"...You could say revenge."

"Great, you're driven by anime villain laws. _Fantastic_. Can I wake up? If not, I'll go to school. Might be a dream, but it'd be nice to see that shithole again."

I turned to walk away, Writer-San moving to block me.

"Why couldn't you just be a pawn to those above you? That's how the world works. I'm a higher being than you. And do those lower in rank not submit?"

"Ever heard of the Soviet Revolution? Ever learn how my country was made? Hell, ever heard of human existence? All about rising up and shit."

"You humans and your idiotic revolutions. You're all sheep. And you're a sheep that stepped out of the herd. Therefore, I'll leave you here with the wolves."

"Can you _stop_ with the metaphors?"

I tried to walk home, but Writer-San grabbed me by the wrist, the cold biting down to my bones. My heart began to race, my voice finally catching in my throat.

"Hmph... speechless? Feeling scared yet?"

No words. No words would come out, I had used them all too quickly earlier.

"That world will never be home, You're _never_ going home, (Y/n) (L/n). No matter how hard you lie to yourself about how this new world is yours, this frigid land will _always_ be your home. And you'll _never_ return to it. Remember that, my little lamb. Remember that you're trapped in a world that will _never_ be yours. You're an outsider. And you _always_ will be."

Shut up. Shut up, shut up, _shut up!_ I tore my backpack off and a searing pain shot through me, like I had just torn off my own skin. I had totally forgotten about how it was kind of attached to me in this nightmare. I heard Writer-San laughing as my vision faded.

* * *

Snapping awake, I sat up and clawed at the air, rubbing my shoulders. Nothing. No bleeding, no tearing, no pain. I sat in the dark for a while, gasping. 

Writer-San was still out there. What did it want, revenge? Why? Was this not enough? Was it so far gone about me being a sheep that it didn't know when to quit? I didn't know. I supposed if I had that big of a superiority complex, I'd be mad at someone wanting freedom from me too.

Pulling a panda onesie over my shoulders, I stumbled out to my kitchen, Druzy fast asleep on my floor in a sleeping bag. When I got there, to my surprise, I saw Raditz sitting at the table, in the dark, alone.

Not a good sign.

"...You good, bro?" I asked.

"If we're both up in the dark this early, I don't think either of us are good... bro."

"Nightmares?"

Raditz didn't reply, so I sat next to him and stayed silent for a bit until he answered.

"...They make us train as toddlers. I didn't really realize that nightmares _weren't_ normal up until recently... I guess that made me a lot more sensitive to them. It's just fighting, and fighting, when your body wants to stop but your Saiyan instinct screams to keep going. They always tell you that pushing in favor of instinct is good, but... I've heard about kids younger than me get torn apart. If they're high class, they're called heroes. If they aren't, they're just forgotten, like they were never worth anything beyond a piece of muscle. And it's all seen as good, because we're doing what Saiyans do. We're fighting. We love battle and everything about it. That's what we have to be. "

"Raditz, I meant what I said. You are _more_ than a fighting instinct. You're a person. With a body that feels. It's okay to take your body's side. You're not limited to a tail, an instinct, and some shiny powerup. No matter what anyone would have you think, you're a person, first and foremost. With feelings."

"I guess..."

Pulling him into a hug, I sat in silence for a minute, feeling him literally shaking. Damn, who would think that fighting as a toddler would hurt someone deeply? _No way_. After a while, he spoke up.

"...You give good hugs, weakling."

"Yeah, I... I learned from the best. The amount of times I've broken down in my high school bathrrom to one of my girls, holy shit. For... vastly different things."

"I don't know what a high school bathroom is, but... Why were you breaking down in one?"

"Had a lot of problems... Then I, uh... Kind of... Well, I guess I'll just start at the beginning."

Sitting at my own chair, I slumped over the table and did my best to just speak without overflowing on my emotions. Like every day, to some degree.

"I... I was having some bad thoughts and decided not to tell anyone... My friend Dennis had come out and we were all worrying over where he'd stay after he got kicked out, so I pushed everything aside, but... Then my mom started harassing me. She's always been a bitch, but she wanted me to come see her more often, so I reminded her that she was verbally abusive my whole life, and she got all mad and offended, and told me to kill myself and see if she cared. So I..."

Inhaling deeply, I tried to keep my words straight.

"I drank a bunch of my dad's wine to keep me tipsy, filled up a bath, texted my friends goodbye, and... And slit my wrists. Overdosed on all the meds I had left. Should have figured one of them would have my address. It was Alexa. She called 911, I got rushed to the ER. Hell, if I had laid there any longer, I would have died. Stiched up my wrists and had my stomach pumped. I... I really should be dead, if it wasn't for her."

A bit of silence, before Raditz put a gentle hand on my shoulder. Now that I knew it wasn't a romantic sign, I could breathe easy with some contact.

"I guess we're both fucked, aren't we?"

"You ever consider it?"

"I... I guess. Part of me always had the wish to just let an enemy kill me so it would hurt less."

"That counts. Maybe you should see a therapist. I mean, it's a start. Hell, I need to get one, too."

"Heh... I call you weakling, but we're pretty fucking tough, aren't we?"

Hell yes we are, Raditz. Hell yes.

* * *

"What the fuck are you doing?"

After not sleeping the rest of the night, I found my stash of space weed I had wished for back when Writer-San had me skipping through time like crazy. Which led to me, lighting up a joint, with Druzy looking at me and my laptop.

Which, by the way, had a USB drive absolutely packed with pirated movies. Including the death of art, Cats.

"Meeting god."

"If you wanna meet god, let me kill you."

"You'll eat me."

"Bitch, I- Just because that's kind of true!"

"Wanna meet god?"

"No! Raditz, come get your gremlin!"

Raditz looked over at us and grabbed me a box of Oreos, then left to go finish blow drying his long ass hair.

"Have fun meeting god, weakling- _What in the actual fuck is that?"_

He must have seen the movie because I was fully immersed in this. I tuned the other two out and prepared myself for this fateful encounter with God herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So, summary is that (Y/n) had a nightmare induced by Writer-San, who wants to torment her as a form of revenge. She wakes up and talks with Raditz about trauma, and tells him about her attempted suicide. (Y/n), the following morining, proceeds to smoke weed and watch the Cats movie with the sole intention of meeting God herself


	13. I Don't Feel Like Going To The Next Arc Yet

A/n: I bought a bunch of weeb trash from Juku Store and like

I bought a sailor school uniform all I need is the trench coat and my mom may or may not buy me one

Also, the OC Rosa belongs to [this person](https://www.quotev.com/RosaRiolu14), since they did art of (Y/n) for me. And the OC Bell belongs to another friend of mine. Ravya belongs to me and is the only one that comes back since I'm only gonna use outside OCs once. Link is why this A/N is in the chapter and not the notes

* * *

"VERONICA, VERONICA, VERONICA, VERONICA, VERONICAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"

I was up in the pilots cabin of my ship singing Beautiful until I saw that Raditz was standing behind me. Shiiiiiiiit. I usually sang under the assumption that no one would hear my parrot screeching.

"Nice performance, weakling."

"Remind me to show you Heathers."

"You have. I stopped paying attention."

"I'll fucking do it again."

Propping my legs up a bit, I shoveled some breakfast cereal into my mouth. Until I saw what looked like an incoming transmission. I would call it a phone call but this wasn't a fucking cell phone, this was a spaceship. I decided to accept, a video feed popping up to show a trio of women.

One sat in the pilots chair and her feet didn't even reach the fucking ground. One had gray skin and was so tall that her head was cropped out. Or... was that a he? Or a she? Fuck it, the gray person was now a 'they'. The last person was neither incredibly tall or short.

"...Hey, you're Trench, ain't ya?" The short one asked.

"Huh? Yeah."

"Oh, wondered why this ship looked familiar. You got a bounty on your head. Guy named Turles wants you alive. Rich one, too."

Fuck

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck _fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck_ fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. _Shit_. Shit fuck shit fuck shit fuck shit fuck shit fuck shit fuck shit fuck shit fuck shit fuck _shit fuck shit fuck shit fuck._

"...Fuck."

"I mean, we aren't gonna do it." The middle-height girl said. "He's an asshole. I don't trust him."

"Uh, Rosa, we _were_." The short one interrupted. "And then [_Ravya_ ](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1FlM9QbQP8lwVO1dvC4ou1Us2F5WhXz-u/view?usp=sharing)here whined about it because she thinks Turles is-"

"Bell be quiet!" The tall one I presumed was Ravya yelled. "Turles bad! Stinky bastard man!"

Ravya proceeded to yell in a strange language that Rosa tried to keep up with, and seemingly failed to. I then turned to face Raditz when he started speaking a weird language. Which _Bell_ then replied to in a similar fashion.

"...The fuck?" I asked.

"Look, weakling, Earth is literally the only place that doesnt have it's own language other than the common one. Saiyans have their own language."

It struck me how much sense that made. A common, universal language, and other ones as well. Wow, everyone really was bilingual expect me, the American. Americans don't need to know other languages, right? 

"No! We no hurt Trench! Kyreans no do this! We not hurt for stinky bastard man!"

 _Kyrean_. That name. Those people. Where had I heard it before? Tsuki! He said that was the source of my wings! I was so surprised, they came out on their own, black wings curling around me. Ravya stared in awe, crouching down to show purple hair and catlike eyes with wide pupils.

"...No, Kyreans have... Kyreans no have black wings and creamy skin. What are you? You understand my words?"

She began to talk in her language. I half expected to just understand them through the power of fanfiction bullshit. But nope. It sounded like nothing.

"Uh... no? What are Kyreans?"

"You not know?! Oh! Oh! Bell! We help Trench!"

"Ravya, we ain't got time for that!"

" _We help!_ "

Bell huffed, looking over to me with an exasperated stare.

"...Look, where you headed?"

"Namek."

"Fuck nah, Frieza's goons all holed up there! Where you live? I can meet you at some planet. So Ravya here doesn't complain until the world ends."

"...Earth?"

"Aight, fine, when?"

"I dunno, give me like a week or so. Maybe more."

"Fine. See ya then, Trench. And be safe. Ravya got a point about Turles. Dunno why he wants you, but... Ruthless motherfucker, ain't he?"

Bell ended the transmission and I immediately tilted my head back and screamed. Loudly. I heard Druzy open the door, feeling her and Raditz staring at me. Those stares felt unbearable at the moment. Stop it, stop looking at me, stop looking, stop looking-

"(Y/n)? What's up with her, huh?" Druzy asked.

"I dunno, I just-"

"Just leave! Both of you! Get out!"

They left, a hand briefly touching my shoulder before it left. Was it Druzy or Raditz? I liked to think it was Raditz. Or maybe Druzy. I wasn't sure. I probably didn't care. Bringing my knees to my chest, I clutched at my head and screamed again.

_'Why now? Why did I have to learn about it now? It has to be a smiliar Turles, no way he'd even care about me unless he... Who the hell am I? Am I (Y/n) or Trench? Ugh, why can't I forget what he sounds like? Oh, I dunno, maybe because of that stupid movie?! Stupid tree, stupid fucking Goku lookalike-'_

I gasped, trying to stop it. Always easier said than done. Stupid monkey brain that couldn't do anything right- Stop it! Stop it brain! Ugh... I sat there for what was probably hours, but didn't feel like long. Or, well, it did. I could never tell if it felt like forever or an instant. Felt like looking down on myself, crying in a room alone, remembering everything. 

It didn't stop until I heard someone behind the door. Druzy.

"Hey... Hey, you. You stopped crying."

I went over to the door and leaned against it, sitting down.

"Heh... I hear you. You listening? You can give a tap if you don't wanna speak."

I decided to knock on the door once, Druzy chuckling.

"Aight... Look, before all this, I didn't think I was supposed to be good. I didn't wanna be good. It's all a choice, right? I wanted to make the wrong choice. All to... All to spite her. My mom. She starved me and my father. She said it was in the name of morality. We couldn't steal, obviously. Fighting in tournaments, with our Saiyan power... She hated that, too. She thought she was better than the other Saiyans for being a pacifist. For starving us. For letting my father starve to death."

...Christ. That was some dark shit.

"I wanted to be everything she despised after that. I wanted to eat. I wanted to be horrible. But... Now that I've met you all. Now that I've talked to you... I dunno, I just- I guess I wanna make myself better? I guess it sounds sudden. Or rushed. I dunno. But... Well, my mom had me arrested when she found out I was eating people. I went along with it. Went to the human prison. Broke out and went right to my uncle. I dunno, (Y/n), but you've done something. You've made me question him. Question everything. You've got that thing in you, (Y/n). You make us question. I guess for some people, that ain't pleasant. But it's necessary. I feel like... Like maybe, just maybe, I can stop basing what I do on the terrible people around me. But I can't do that unless you're there. Feel me?"

"...I guess."

"Good. I just wanted you to know... Whatever's making you feel powerless, it ain't got shit on you. And if it do, then we trained for something, huh? I dunno what was going on in there. I don't gotta know if you don't wanna talk about it. I'll just sit here until you wanna come out. And we don't gotta talk about it. Huh?"

I guess that made me feel just a little bit better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/n: guess who may or may not have made a whole discord server to emulate the one in here? I might end up making all the discord convos using that server and just linking images.


	14. A Test To See How Many Times I Can Refer To The Dragon Ball Wiki In One Day

Our bitchass group landed on Namek. Finally. Already, we were dealing with a destroyed village. Damn it. Dragon Ball had to be gone. If only I had more energy to think, but no, I just _had_ to stay up all night because I was scared of nightmares.

"Okay. Here's the deal. We go for Zarbon and Dodaria first. Then the Ginyu Force. Then Frieza if we can. If we find a Dragon Ball, we store it in my capsule ship. Got it?"

Raditz and Druzy seemed to nod, Druzy casting glances at the corpses on the ground until I glared at her. I don't care if Namekians may or may not count as a vegan substitute, Druzy was not going to relapse on my watch. I searched for the Dragon Ball but found nothing.

Damn. They really absconded with it. I was about to call it quits here, but then... Underneath one of the corpses, a little guy popped out and looked at us, absolutely terrified.

"...Hey? You alive?" I asked. The little guy pointed at me, me and my baseball bat.

"Y-You're Trench... I've heard of you. The coat, the bat. Are you here to...?"

"To... what?"

"To defeat Frieza? I've heard stories..." The little Namekian muttered. "They say you're an insult to everything Frieza is. They say you insult Frieza every chance you get. With... A lot of swearing and references to your Earth culture."

"That sounds exactly like (Y/n) if I've ever heard it."

"Shut the fuck up, Raditz."

I knelt down to the little Namekian, helping him get up from under the dead guy.

"Hey... You stay with us, okay? What's your name?"

"Z-Zither... This guy was Cargo." Zither gestured at the dead body he had hidden under. "But... He died saving my life. He and I were friends..."

"I'm not dead." The still inert body of Cargo muttered. 

"Did that dead body just talk?!" I yelled.

"Yeah."

Cargo got up, clutching his side and getting on one knee. Blood and dust staining his clothes, he winced and looked between me, Druzy, and Raditz.

"Cargo! You're alive!" Zither yelled, hugging one of his legs.

"Huh? Well, yeah. Wait... You thought I was dead?"

"You weren't moving!"

"I had a pulse."

"Oh... Well, I guess, but how was I supposed to check? They were killing us!"

I looked to the green sky, keeping my eye out for Frieza's soldiers. For Zarbon and Dodaria. I leaned in towards Raditz, whispering so the others couldn't hear us.

"Without Vegeta here, we don't have to contend with him, but neither do Zarbon and Dodaria. At some point, their scouters will get destroyed by one of the village elders."

"How do you know this?" Raditz asked.

"Sorry, did you forget? I have the box set. Of the series. I was rewatching it all year. Taking notes."

"What? Why?"

"Shit like this. I need to know what's gonna happen before it happens. Especially here. We aren't past the point of no return for canon. What happens after this is gonna be different, but this? It's following the same script. Just trust me with this."

Just then, I sensed something and it had the vibes of a garbage bag. Druzy seemed to pick up next, her hand flexing as a sword materialized. She had on a sharp grin, her eyes narrowing but still keeping a sense of confidence.

"You leave that to me."

"What? Alone? You're going alone?"

"Yeah, sure. I got a little plan of mine. You guys need to focus on the Dragon Balls. I'll hold their attention."

"Druzy-"

With a laugh, she flew off before I could stop her. Damn it. But she was right, in a way. We had to focus on the Dragon Balls. And, judging by the show... I knew what to do.

"...Cargo, Zither. Can you get us to the other villages? I think Druzy can hold their attention to at least get one. And without the whole set..."

"I know the way." Zither spoke up. "Are... Are you sure they won't attack?"

"Huh? No. But we can still fight, can't we?"

The two Namekians nodded, Cargo looking down towards Zither.

"Guru. Let's go to Guru."

Oh for fucks sake, I was in no state to talk to an elder about the goodness of my soul and the amount of potential I had. But... For Tsuki. For Aventurine getting her lungs fixed.

* * *

"Just put it on my bed."

Well, that was one Dragon Ball and a lot of unneeded exposition down. I couldn't focus on what Guru said at all. I was just glad it was over. Hearing someone tell me I had good in my heart... Ugh, I just didn't need to think about it right now. I just needed to get it done.

So I made sure the Dragon Ball was secure in my bed before Raditz and I left. Casting a glance over my things, I saw a box sticking out of my closet. Oh, yeah, Aven took the info I had on Zira Kyokia. Forgot about all that. It would be waiting once I got back.

Running back outside, I collapsed my ship and grabbed Raditz by the arm.

"Druzy's kidnapped."

"How do you know- Oh, don't tell me."

"Same thing happened to Vegeta. All we gotta do now is wait for Zarbon to die and we'll have more Dragon Balls. If she's smart, she'd have hidden one like Vegeta did. Or, well, doesn't matter. She just needs to beat Zarbon."

"And then what?"

"Ginyu Force. If we-"

I was cut off by Cargo, who held Zither on his shoulders.

"Hey, you two done talking? We need to go."

I gave Raditz a look, reminding him that we had to keep this between us. Okay, how did this go? Druzy would kill Zarbon, probably. Didn't really need to be there for that. The Ginyu Force, on the other hand, I absolutely needed to care about. That was a force of five.

Then Frieza would come out. Now, that I had covered even without Super Saiyan. I definitely had Frieza taken care of, no matter the cost.


	15. Then Beg

I knew I didn't have to focus on Zarbon. Druzy cut him down, just as predicted. But hey, to spell out a difference from the show... We now had all seven Dragon Balls. Did we have time to summon the dragon, though? No, I wanted to make sure. They had to be passed before anything. Best to stick to canon as much as possible in this scenario, right? Right.

"So, wait, you got kidnapped and then got the Dragon Balls?" Raditz asked. Good. At least he was trying to sell it.

"Hah! Of course! We done yet?" Druzy laughed, clapping her hands together.

"No..." I muttered, getting up and whipping out my bat. "There's gonna be more."

"Huh? How the hell do you know?"

"Just got a half baked plan... We're gonna use the Dragon Balls to get Tsuki back. And get everyone off this planet."

"Wait," Raditz interrupted, "What are you talking about?"

I began to walk away, towards the faint feel of garbage bag vibes. Five of them, to be exact. And four approaching rather quickly.

"Just trust me on this. Okay?"

"Ugh, you gotta give more than that!" Druzy snapped. "The hell is all this coming from?"

I would have replied if those garbage bag vibes didn't get closer, making Druzy fall silent and pull out her sword. I made sure the capsule of my ship was secure in my pocket, gently running over it with my thumb before my hand clenched into a fist. Okay, here was a fight I had to be awake for. Just focus, focus on it.

Frieza must have known I was here. Probably why he sent them early. Too early to make the wish. Damn, he was smart sometimes. These thoughts ran through my head as I saw the first two show up. Guldo and Recoome.

"...Sup, fuckers?" I spoke up. "Here to join the party? I got snacks. Earth ones, too."

"Seriously? Trench is here? Lord Frieza's gonna make us so rich!" Guldo squealed in delight. At the thought of killing me. Weren't we friends once, way back when? In that one scenario? No, don't think about that. I simply held my bat over my shoulders, blowing a strand of hair from my eyes. 

"Heh. Nah, don't think so. Just gonna-"

It was then that I remembered Guldo had the ability to stop time by holding his breath. Mainly because I got kicked in the chest, strategically kicked. Strategically in that my skirt flew upwards.

"Huh? No fair! She has on shorts!" Guldo whined. The fact that I heard him meant he wasn't stopping time, so I held out my bat and shot him. Only to have him appear a few steps away.

And then to have Raditz shoot him to nothing. Oop, that was easy.

"Boxer shorts, bitch. Boxer shorts."

Okay, who was next? Oh, right, ballerina bitch Recoome. Honestly, if he wasn't such a jackass, I'd totally watch him dance. I saw him move to attack me, but then saw Druzy rush foward to take the blow. Oh, right, she had that nice massive Zenkai. Yeah, she totally got this. I turned to Raditz and Cargo.

"Oi, Cargo, you keeping the little dude safe? I can get you two back to Earth. I think, with all three wishes, we can get you and your people off this planet. It'd be safer. Knowing that bitch Frieza-"

"He's gonna attack, isn't he?" Cargo asked.

"...Yeah." I shared a look with Raditz, going over the show in my head. "After we beat his little gang here, he's gonna take matters into his own hands."

"Wait, how do you know all this?"

I would have answered Cargo if I didn't hear Druzy screaming. But not in pain. 

"Hah! See that, asshole?! See that?! Where's the rest of you, huh?! Where's your leader?! I'll kick his ass, too!"

That made me think. So, nothing really stopped me from fighting all three at once, right? It was three on three, after all. Kneeling down, I picked up a scouter from Recoome's now dead corpse, seeing one of Druzy's swords sticking out of it. Ouch. Had he tried not being an evil bitch?

Wait, that wasn't quite accurate, he wasn't so bad when I was briefly part of the group.

"Hey, there's three of you left." I spoke into the scouter. "How about you come fight the three of us? I'd love to take on Ginyu. Been itching to get that body swapping freak."

Maybe I was playing it up a bit, but I wanted them to get here. We waited, and waited, until three more power levels showed up. Jeice, Burter, and Ginyu. Hell yeah. I had the feeling I would forget the specifics and just zone out into a sea of blasting, not getting body swapped, and whatever punches did the job.

Yeah. If I wanted to see a fight, I had the box set of DBZ. Could always watch that.

* * *

Well, I was right, I really did kinda zone out. I suppose, if you really wanna get better, you should focus on fighting and see what you need to work on. But focusing was hard when my ADHD monkey brain decided to go _'fuck you'_ unless I took meds to say ' _fuck you'_ right back.

Which is to say, when I came to, Ginyu was fucking dead. Really don't gotta explain that, it happened in the show. I turned to see Jeice crawling towards Burter, guessing that they were both still alive.

And Druzy held up a sword to strike him down.

"Please!" Jeice yelled in a voice I never thought I'd hear him use. "He's everything I have! Kill me, but just let him live, please!"

Was he... Begging? Oh god. He was. This wasn't supposed to happen. He didn't do this in the show. He didn't beg like this. I would say the voice actor did a stellar job, but this wasn't a character being voice acted, this was a living being. Begging for the life of his friend. Oh god. Not even his own life.

Wasn't Jeice supposed to be selfish and vain? Was he more than a character? Wait, they all were! This was real. Raditz was a person, why would Jeice not be? And if Jeice was... Why would the others not be?

"Give me one good reason why I should spare your life. One!" Druzy laughed.

"I don't care. I don't care what you do to me! You killed my only friends!" The tears rolling down his face made my stomach turn. "Just let this one go! He can't fight back! Do what you want, torture me, kill me! Let him live!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: When you realize just how much you hate writing fight scenes over and over again so fuck it, skipping them for the most part


	16. No Time To Argue, The CEO Of Racism Is Here To Kick Ass

"...Let them both go."

"What?!" Druzy snarled as I held out a hand to stop her from killing Jeice and Burter. "But they're right there! We beat them! We gotta finish the job! Can't just let injured prey die in suffering, huh?"

"(Y/n)..." Raditz spoke up, uncertain. "I kinda have to agree. What makes you think they won't just run back to that tyrant and fight us another day?"

"We shouldn't spare them. Not after what he and those other lackeys of Frieza did." Cargo agreed. "I'll do it if no one else will-"

" _No!_ "

My wings burst forth, spreading out to their full length as I shouted at the others. After a few seconds of stunned silence, I turned back to Jeice and Burter.

"Get back to your ship. Get off this planet, do whatever it takes to get off this planet. You hear me? You get off this fucking planet and you don't look back! You hear me?! You won't have a Frieza to answer to! Get out of here! If you're not off this planet, you'll die. And if you so much as lay a finger on us again... I'll kill you. Now go. Before I think twice. Get out of here!"

Startled, Jeice grabbed Burter and fled without another word, leaving me with the rest. I didn't move until my wings disappeared. When I turned around, Cargo grabbed me by the collar and lifted me up.

"You let those murderers go? They're Frieza's men! They'll come back and kill us!"

"Did you even hear him?! You don't fake shit like that! We couldn't kill him then. He asked for mercy for Burter. So I let them both go. What are you gonna about it, huh?"

I probably shouldn't have asked that. Mainly because Cargo literally held out a fist to punch me square in the face. Shit. Thankfully, Raditz pulled me away before anything happened.

"Stop! This won't change anything! It's not going to bring back anyone who died! Let's just make the wish."

Druzy and Cargo stepped back, Cargo glaring at me and Druzy shrugging as if she didn't care much. She probably didn't. Raditz turned to me, whispering out of earshot of Cargo.

"...What the hell, (Y/n)?"

"You _heard_ him. I just... I couldn't watch him die. I looked at him and I saw more than just the vain little fucker on TV. Okay?"

I felt someone tug at my skirt, seeing Zither look up at me.

"Can we get the Dragon Balls out?"

Oh. Yeah. I opened up my ship and got the Dragon Balls all out, letting Zither do his thing to summon them. Should I have done it? Should I have, you know... Let them go? I just couldn't watch Druzy take their lives. It looked way too real. Way different from what Jeice was like in the anime.

Too human to let him die.

I was so wrapped up in all of this, I barely noticed that we made the wishes. Or, rather, one wish. I guess Guru must have fucking died before we could make two. Well, Tsuki could just get to Earth. Or finish training. Either one.

We did kinda waste some time with Jeice and Burter, after all. Okay, we made the wish. But... Where was that Illuminati lizard man baby tyrant? Oh god, Frieza really was the lizard man of the Illuminati. World domination and all. 

My question was answered when dumpster fire vibes began heading our way at breakneck speeds. Which is to say, Frieza popped in out of nowhere and punched a hole in Druzy's chest. That was... That was quick. Wait, why was Frieza already in his final form?! What the shit is this?! Either way, Druzy looked down at the fist in her chest before dropping dead.

Fucks sake.

"...Frieza, you ignorant slut." That was all I could say, getting out my bat and immediately throwing hands. Did I really leave a dent? No. But it was a distraction. A distraction for everyone else to get to the ship.

I turned to Raditz and winked, shouting over to him.

"Go tell my son I love him!"

That had to be enough of a cue to tell Raditz what to do. Which was to get his ass to the ship with everyone else and get home, while I did the honors of keeping an egotistical agent of the Illuminati at bay. Or rather, get my ass beat by Frieza as everyone else ran.

Raditz winked back. No. For the love of Heather Chandler, no.

* * *

Okay, five minutes later, I was choking half to death. And one of my wings looked a little... Cracked. And I could swear I felt pain coming from it. Weird. Who was that Ravya chick and could I please get her help?

"So, you're Trench? What a pleasure it is to meet you. I should just dump you on Turles' hands..."

Do not.

"Or I could just do it myself. Might as well. Really, what does that monkey even want with you? Must be disgusting. Such a sick obsession with... What I assume is just a nobody."

"Yeah, for once, I can-" I coughed up some blood. "-I can kinda agree with you."

"Hmph. Whatever."

I think Frieza has a thing for punching people through their bodies. Cause think about it, how much strength does that take for anyone, let alone someone powerful? A lot. Weird flex, but okay. This is to say that Frieza punched me in the chest hard enough to crack more than few ribs, and I dropped to the ground. This is not to say that this blow was the only thing leaving me defeated, it was more of the straw that broke the camels back.

And this is all to say, I hurt like a bitch. Ouch. Ouchie ouch ouch, my bones, my feelings. I laid on the ground, not moving and just staring at the sky. At least the others were okay. Hey, not everything could go like canon, okay? Maybe Frieza would win this battle and lose the war.

That thought fled when I heard Raditz screaming like a Karen who just learned that the Mexican employee she called the N-word was the owner of the store all along.

Fucks sake.

"I'll kill you... I'll kill you! You hear me?!"

"You're welcome to try, monkey. A low class warrior pretending to be an elite. Pathetic!"

Frieza, I can hear the little bitch in your voice, you shut the fuck up and take that ass beating while I lay here and wait to die.


	17. F In The Chat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/n: I have since finished writing all the chapters, so I will be publishing at least daily until this is done!

At some point, I felt the ground starting to crack and realized that Frieza's bitchass decided to blow up the planet because he was a coward. Between Raditz's amazing blond hair and that, I felt pretty dazed. The cracks on my black wings shone with a white light, almost as if they were bleeding. 

Well, they did hurt, just like everything else at the moment.

Looking up, it looked like the fight was sort of over. Hmm... Frieza was a bitch ass motherfucker. And I sure as hell was not taking chances. So I got up. One agonizing movement after another. Strangely, I began to laugh, a bitter laugh so unlike me.

Well, I was gonna die, what the hell?

My wings spread, the cracked and burning ground just barely visible through them, and I flew up behind Frieza, grabbing on and holding tight.

"Buenos dias, fuckboy! Ain't letting you get away!" I sure as hell did not plan on dealing with a Mecha Frieza. Maybe King Cold, but just him. Might as well take him down with me for sure.

"(Y/n)! You're not dead?!" Raditz yelled out to me.

"Not yet? Get off this planet if you can! And bring me back!"

"We don't have Dragon Balls on Earth!"

"But we do have a Zither, now don't we?"

Yes, this whole plan hinged on the possibility that Zither and Cargo would bring me back. Which, after what happened earlier, may not be the best choice. But fuck it. They had to make the Dragon Balls on Earth to bring their people back, anyway. So maybe a better chance. 

Frieza tried to shake me off, but I wrapped my wings around both of us and winked at Raditz, trying to tell him it was okay to go. I wouldn't survive, anyway. This is fine.

He nodded and flew off. Probably to find one of Frieza's ships. He would definitely know his way around one. Despite Frieza thrashing about, I held fast, cackling like a madman.

"Haha, get fucked! If I'm going to hell, you're coming with me!"

My wings shattered just as the planet exploded.

* * *

"Hey, I got 69%, you know what that means."

So the line in Heaven was long as shit. Or, well, the line to see who goes to Heaven. Isn't Hell more like rehabilitation and reincarnation the first time around, and _then_ it's personalized if you fuck up a second time?

You know what? We could model our prison system after that. Wouldn't be perfect, but it'd be better.

I finally got my ass to that mahogany desk. To that man. King Yenma. Hey, if Chi-Chi is the daughter of the Ox-King, does that not make Goku royalty? Well, Vegeta would still have a better claim due to a direct blood relation, actually.

"...(Y/n) (L/n). Quite interesting. Let me ask you this, why the name Trench?"

"Don't know."

King Yenma squinted at the papers in his hand. Oh, wait... Was it weird because I was from pretty much an entirely alternate dimension? 

"Strange. I've never seen something like this. But I've been told to send you on Snake Way. No questions asked."

"...It's really best if you didn't know. Hey, uh... Before I go. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"You ever get a guy named Goku?"

He froze, setting the papers down and giving me a hard look.

"...Look, I was told not to answer that, but yeah. A kid like that did come through. A bunch of people like you and your group came through at around the same time. Months apart. The Goku kid was the last. He was... You'll learn later on, I think. King Kai himself told me to let you through. Said all your questions will be answered in due time."

"Doubt that man can tell me when Yandere Sim will be finished, but okay."

I started down the fucking road. And kept running. I tried to summon my wings, freezing when I saw fractured stumps. Oh, they broke. Could that happen? Hell, I was just beginning to process that I was part alien now. A Kyrean, huh? Would Quartz be the same?

* * *

"Miss Aven!"

Still waiting for people to come back, Aven took a ragged breath and walked outside, seeing Quartz with oversized gray wings coming from his back. They were much more transparent than (Y/n)'s were, for sure.

"Bloody hell... You're really your mummy's son, aren't you?"

"Um... Miss Aven, can I tell you something?"

"Course. Come on, let's talk inside, eh? Get you some food. Growing Saiyan boys have to eat a lot to get all big and strong, don't they?"

Quartz looked to the ground. Growing Saiyan boy. That wasn't right.

* * *

"DRUZY!"

Literally the first thing I did was smack onto the ground of King Kai's planet and screech at the top of my lungs. Druzy, a little halo over her head, walked over and looked down at me.

"Hey. I got news. So, your ship literally could have made it from Namek to Earth in the span of, like, a few minutes. Bad news is... It's kind of a wreck."

"How did that happen?"

"Uh, apparently Cargo fiddled with enough controls to use some sort of half finished warp drive. I guess Aven was working on it. Maybe you forgot. Aven can fix it, it'll just take a while. Oh, and there's like a bunch of Namekians just chilling on Earth now."

I probably didn't pay enough attention to learn about it in the first place, let alone remember. That at least vaguely lined up with canon. I then saw Tsuki run over to me and help me to my feet.

(Y/n)! You're... Dead? What happened to your wings?"

"They, like, shattered."

"Oh, yeah. The Kyrean I met said that could happen. She was really nice! She had two Saiyan friends!"

"...Was her name Ravya?"

"Yeah!" Tsuki's eyes lit up like a big puppy dog. "Did you meet her?"

"Sorta. So, uh... Where's the god?"

I got to my feet and locked eyes with a pair of dark sunglasses.

"(Y/n) (L/n)." King Kai spoke to me. "We have a lot to talk about."


	18. Beg For Your Life In The Language Of Gods

Ignoring Tsuki and Druzy sparring outside, I sat down with King Kai. What I would give for a Red Bull. A Monster, even. 

"...You're not from this place."

"Yeah, no shit. How much do you know?"

"Not much. When you died, King Yenma noticed something was wrong." King Kai replied. "Your past is nothing but fragments. More of a backstory than a detailed account of your entire life. Really, all that's been there is your birth, your run in with Turles, and these recent events. And only recently has there been any _serious_ documentation about your life in full. So..."

I could have sworn he had the faintest of smiles on his face, a smug look in his eyes behind the shades.

"Either we in Otherworld aren't doing our jobs-which I highly doubt-or you're not really from here. Is it another timeline? Another universe?"

"King Kai... It's another fucking dimension."

That got him. Seeing that faint smile disappear in a blink, I went on.

" _I am the hope of the universe. I am the answer to all living things that cry out for peace. I am the protector of the innocent. I am the light in the darkness. I am truth._ You know who would have said that if me and the rest of us weren't around? Goku. But no. He died a horrible death to some scientist who knew how to take out someone with his kind of power. And Goku hadn't even gotten _here_ yet. He hadn't even trained under you."

"Wh... What are you saying?"

"You ever heard of anime? Well- You know, fuck it. This whole universe is a fictional story to me. It's called Dragon Ball. I was hella into it when I was a normal human. Like how older teens and adults are into nostalgic cartoons. It's like that. Don't believe me? Read my mind. I know you have telepathy. I know you can."

I stared at him for a while. But he shook his head.

"You're kidding."

"Whatever. I know what happened with the Tuffles and the Saiyans. I know Planet Vegeta was blown up by Frieza. Hell, there could be a Tuffle still alive. I never really got into that part of the series, it was called GT. Kinda sucked. No telling if we go down GT, or if we go down Super and get god ki. But..."

I got up and began pacing around.

"Look, King Kai, point is, you're right. I'm not from here. But I can't go back. So... If you really want to know more, I can help. Raditz knows. He's the only canon character, aside from you, that I've really got on my side in some form. Everyone else wasn't in the show. Goku was supposed to be the main. Not me. But here we are. Do you want to learn the real truth and stay awake at night pondering your existence? Or do you just wanna train me and pretend we never had this conversation? Cause I can do both. Might be better if I wait until I can get the actual anime for you to watch."

"You can do that?"

"When I'm revived. Box set. Pretty penny, but worth it. I'll save you the spoilers. Like Broly. Wait-"

Fuck! Broly! Was he here?! I had to find him! Hey, maybe it would predict whether or not we would go to GT or Super. Would it be the revamped Super version of Broly, or the original one?

"-Well?" King Kai asked.

"Nevermind. So... It's a lot to unpack. I get it. You familiar with fanfiction?"

"I mean, I think? It has a lot of different names around the galaxies."

That implied that fanfiction was somehow a constant in the universe. Somewhere, someone was writing sinful, sinful Frieza x Reader smut. But here, it'd probably be categorized under celebrity fanfiction and not anime fanfiction. Still, gross.

"Okay. Think of it like that. This is sorta like a fanfiction. And Goku being the main characters with his group of friends is the actual canon storyline."

"And Raditz?"

"Wasted character, died and never came back. Still mad. But he's my friend now."

"...Just frie-"

"King Kai, I'm gonna give you one chance to stop it, Raditz and I aren't interesting in getting our dicks and pussies wet with _anyone_ , let alone each other."

Okay, enough talk, I wanted to train. And get my wings back. Speaking of... I would really need to talk to Tsuki about that. Maybe later on down the line, I'd figure we'd stay a year no matter when we'd be brought back.

* * *

"I meant to ask you something, (Y/n)."

King Kai asked me while Druzy was taking a nap and Tsuki was off... Meditating or some shit. I could literally not at the moment. 

"Huh?"

"When did you ever learn to speak Namekian?"

Hold up, what the fuck was he on about now?

"I... Didn't?"

"You said 'buenos dias' to Frieza when you attacked him. I was watching. That's Namekian."

"No it isn't. It's Spanish."

"What's Spanish?"

"A language in my world-"

I had a bright idea. A really stupid, but really bright idea.

"King Kai... How many languages do you speak?"

"Oh, well, I'm at least passable in almost all of them."

"Hit me with, uh... Saiyan." I said as I got out my phone and opened up Google Translate, using the text to speech thing they had. Wasn't the best, but it would do. Good thing King Kai's planet had some form of Otherworld internet Good internet, too.

Alright, uh..."

He spoke in something oddly familiar, and Google recognized it as Japanese, translating it into "Is this working okay for you?". I showed it to him, and he nodded.

"Well, not word for word, but that's generally what I said."

"That's Japanese in my world. Uh... Yardrat?"

Same process. Korean, this time. We tried Namekian, and it came up as Spanish. I then had an idea.

"...The language of gods."

"What?"

"Just do it. It's kind of a meme from my world. You know it, right? I mean, you're essentially a minor deity."

We tried it. And... Holy Soviet Union. The language of gods literally came up as Russian. Well, this was a side effect of me being in this dimension that I did not expect, but it was a welcome surprise. I mean... I had Duolingo. I immediately pulled up Duolingo and started up Japanese lessons anew.

"(Y/n)? What is that?" King Kai asked.

"Spanish or vanish. I dunno, Namekian or vanish doesn't have the ring to it. I could just say ' _beg for your life in Namekian'_."

"Is this another one of your Earthling memes?"

I shrugged, a wicked grin on my face.

"Well, one of _my_ Earth's memes, not this one. Trust me, this is gonna be great."

Time to learn how to insult my enemies in their native languages, all from Duolingo.


	19. Raditz Complains About What Happened On Namek For An Entire Hour While (Y/n) Tries (And Fails) To Cheer Him Up With Heathers

I had since come to the realization that becoming fluent in one language is hard enough, let alone a bunch of them at the same time. Nevertheless, I persisted in my pursuit of learning Russian, the language of Gods. For one reason.

That reason came today.

"Deduska." I walked out to King Kai.

"Chto eto?"

"Khorosho, bumer."

I had now realized that it was worth learning Russian crash-course style to see the look of utter disappointment in King Kai's eyes. Hidden or otherwise behind those shades, I could see him die just a little on the inside. And that made me happy.

Duo would be proud.

"...Your jokes aside, do you want to talk to Raditz?"

"Sure."

Oh boy. I put a hand on King Kai's back and waited. What to say, what to say...

_"...(Y/n)?"_

"Gema, genki?"

_"Did you just say 'what is up, gamer?' in Saiyan?"_

"It's literally what my world calls 'Japanese'. Languages from my world crossed over to become languages here. Pretty cool."

_"Anyway, weakling, how have you been?"_

"Well, Tsuki and Druzy are gonna stay and train until I'm revived in a year. Where are you?"

_"Place called Yardrat."_

"Well, that lines up with the show. Stole a Frieza ship?"

_"Yeah..."_

Damn. He sounded out of it. How to cheer him up, though?

"You good?"

_"Absolutely not. You died!"_

"Yeah, well..."

_"Yeah, well, what? You fucking died!"_

"I can be brought back, it's fine."

_"No, it really isn't. I don't want stupid wish balls to take away from the fact that you literally died in front of me."_

"...You want a distraction?"

_"Like what?"_

I had an idea.

* * *

"And then she climbed into his room through the window-"

_"What does this have to do with blowing up one of your human schools?"_

"We get there when we fucking get there!"

_"...This isn't working. Maybe if I was watching this Heathers thing and not listening to you talk about it. Cause all I can think of is how you're speaking from the afterlife."_

My idea was not working and it had been an hour. Most of which was Raditz complaining. About everything.

"...Maybe we should just talk when we get back to Earth."

_"Yeah... I'll see you."_

Damn. Well, I tried. With a sigh, I slumped forward and fell asleep. Did I have training? I didn't care. I was tired.

I was always tired these days.

* * *

"...Writer-San, you big bitch, let me dream normally."

Yep. Another one of these dreams. I made it to school before I realized it was a dream. I decided to head in anyway, shouldering through the hallways of kids I barely remembered. God, I missed this pile of shit.

"I told you. You miss this place."

I turned around, the crowd freezing in time as I saw Writer-San. The cracks were healing, fewer and less severe now. I rolled my eyes.

"You wanna go to first hour with me? Contemporary Theater and Film. I'm doing a presentation on Heathers. Of course."

"Enough with that. Are you actually speaking with vulnerability, or are you just hiding in plain sight?"

"Shut up."

"I'm right. You joke on and on about yourself, but that's the thing. You think you're nothing but a joke. Because you're really just a joke."

I turned to get to first hour, shouldering my way through frozen kids. I wasn't playing this game.

"Leave me alone, you self absorbed has-been."

"But why? This is more fun. Especially when Turles is around. Maybe I should just let him have his way with you. Save me the work."

I ignored Writer-San after that, rushing to get upstairs. I walked up the stairs, and kept walking, realizing they were ascending far beyond what should be possible. Looking back, it was just an empty line of stairs, Writer-San following me.

"Let me go."

"No. You belong here. Shame you'll never go back. Not that you deserve to."

"The hell are you on about now? Can you focus on one subject per fucked up dream?"

Writer-San ignored me, speaking on.

"Come on. Think about what you've done in the past. You and your friends, treating this world like some sort of game. Like a playpen for your entertainment. Those canon characters are real, and think of what you did to them in the past."

"Oh, yeah, like what?"

"Telling them their world is fake, that their existence is purely for your entertainment." Writer-San began to walk towards me. "Taking apart their story and warping it to your own desires. Killing the good guys for your own selfish goals. Killing Vegeta when you knew he was capable of better. Lying to them about who and what you really are... A scared little girl."

"You shut your whore mouth!"

"You know I'm right."

I began to run up the stairs, only to be grabbed by the neck and flung down the everlasting concrete steps. 

* * *

I snapped awake and found myself in bed. Everyone else was asleep as well. Damn... I really did doze off.

Sneaking outside, I took my phone and a cigarette outside, walking until I would be out of sight and earshot. 

"Captains Log, Entry... Whatever. I had a dream again. Just a scared little girl, that's what Writer-San called me. I... I don't want to admit that it's accurate. But it is. I feel... I feel bad. For thinking this place was just empty character tropes. Hell, people don't even look like how they're animated. They're real. And I... I didn't treat them like that. I was like a Writer-San, just playing with their lives."

What if I'm just as bad? No, what if I'm worse? Joking about Yamcha dying was funny back home. But now I know he was a real man. With hopes and dreams. And Vegeta... 

It wasn't me that killed him, but I was planning on it. Did his redemption really depend all on Bulma and Goku? Or could I have done it?

Am I (Y/n), or am I Trench? Hell, which one was better?


	20. :33 < Mommy!

Finally. We were coming back to life. Armed with my shaky grasp of Japanese, I returned to see Quartz run up and tackle me outside of my still broken, but under repair, spaceship.

I then realized Quartz had on gray body paint and little orange horns.

"Mommy! You're alive!"

"Hey, munchkin..." I squeezed my kid tightly, spinning him around a bit. "How's my boy doing?"

"...Your girl."

"My girl?"

Oh. Okay. Who am I to say my child isn't a girl?

"How's my _girl_ doing?"

"I missed you, Mommy... But I found a cool thing! It's called Homestuck!"

Oh my god. Middle school has called and it wants me back.

"...You truly are my so- _daughter_ , sorry."

"Hehe!" Quartz giggled, pulling me inside. "Heather took really good care of the little kitties! I bet she missed you too!"

"No, I didn't."

An overgrown mass of fur got to her feet, Heather yawning and seeing me. Surrounding the big cat were all the kittens Quartz had rescued.

"I'm back."

"You're back. Finally. Do me a favor and get me some food."

"Damn, girl. Someone got salty."

"Look, we all die at some point, either I live another day or suddenly it isn't my problem anymore."

"You're an oversized cat and your eight nipples are shit."

Fair. I left Heather alone and went to my room, falling onto my bed. Quartz ran off to tell everyone I was alive again, leaving me to lay on my bed. Until someone came in.

"Bloody hell, you're back."

I sat up and saw Aventurine shutting the door. And I heard a lock click. She held something behind her back.

"Hey, Aven. The Namekian I brought with-"

"Yeah, I got it. Once I get my lungs fixed, it's all just gonna be getting the other Namekians home. Anyway, that's not why I'm here."

"What's up, then?"

Aven showed me what was behind her back. My box set of DBZ. She had found it? How?

I told her to go through my stuff to get my info on that scientist bitch, Zira Kyokia. Fuck. I should have hidden it better.

"Talk."

"...How much did you watch?"

"All of it. Every stupid episode. Seriously, this is shit."

"You sound like my friend, Brittany."

"What the hell is this? Is this how you've been predicting what will happen?" Aven slammed the box next to me, standing over me with a snarl. "Is this just your little sandbox? Who the hell are you?!"

That did it. I snapped up and grabbed Aven by the collar, slamming her into the door.

"You think I wanted to be here?! In this shitty world where half the worldbuilding I've seen isn't even in canon?! You think I asked for this?! The fuck is wrong with you?! I should be at home, getting a degree! But no! I'm stuck in this world and I fucking hate it!"

"...(Y/n)? Who are you?"

That also did it. I let her go and bit my lip, refusing to let tears fall. 

"...You're better off not knowing. Keep this between us. And Raditz."

"Is this how you got him on our side?"

"I showed him how he died. So yeah. It is. Just... Forget this ever happened. Beyond this whole thing with Frieza, I can't predict as reliably as I have so far. Gero is dead. This Zira woman... I don't know what she's capable of."

I began to walk away, out of my room, when Aven spoke up.

"...Am I just a character to you, mate?"

"No. I won't let that happen again."

This would be a great time to get a slushie with Raditz, wouldn't it be? Before I left, Aven asked one more question.

"Okay, but why was Goku such a bitch ass motherfucker?"

"In what way?"

"He had a fucking ten year old fight."

"...Oh, yeah. What do you expect? The creator wrote gag manga before he wrote this."

* * *

"You sure Aven can keep her mouth shut, weakling?"

"She has to."

I sipped absentmindedly on a slushie, seeing that the group chat had a bunch of new channels. _Memes, venting, serious,_ a voice chat named _what is up gamers_ , _cool things_ , and _fighting stuff_. I saw the _cool stuff_ chat alive and active. Raditz looked over my shoulder at my phone, both of us on the roof of 7-Eleven.

DeadassAutomail: _yeah look at this video mate_

RoseGold: _what is it_

DeadassAutomail: _new music duo. They're so fucking good! Fine as bloody hell, too._

RoseGold: _you said the same thing about Cargo, go to horny jail_

DeadassAutomail: _shut your bloody mouth and watch the music video_

I clicked on the video myself, seeing a music video akin to K-Pop. The two singers looked like siblings, twins even. A guy and a girl. Their group name was "Cyber Twins". Very synthwave. 

Hell yeah.

"...I like this group."

"Your Earthling music is weird."

"Yeah, but damn, I like this. Just the overall presentation is... Cool."

I started doing a little digging. A pair of twins named [Mikon](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1GczLLsZyZiCLUZc8E9Cr5YzLoY0HRwSY/view?usp=sharing) and [Xandria](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1GoZp6TLyeFnkxyrzkAhmTL6vk11C_tEg/view?usp=sharing). Wow, they had a sister, too. [Tammy](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1HAY5C30spmkiKAdouW8FkIBPD4KmTzCP/view?usp=sharing). Damn, she looked... Like a 12 year old. I guess in a world with a dog as a king, that shouldn't be too hard to comprehend. Looked like the Tammy girl had some sort of budding clothing company, too. Lolita clothes. 

They seemed to be doing well. But... Wait what was that last name?

Kyokia.

Mikon, Xandria, and Tammy Kyokia. Was this coincidence? I did some background checking on them. Human schooling, but... They had gone under the radar for years and only just resurfaced a few months ago. They refused to talk about it publicly, even though the younger one, Tammy, resurfaced with severe burn scars. And their mom was still missing.

Their mom's name hit me in the gut. Zira Kyokia.

Raditz and I shared a look and went to the _serious_ channel. Raditz even got out his own phone for this, despite me knowing he still didn't get all the features of it.

MythicBitch: _guys about that music video Aven sent_

DeadassAutomail: _what?_

MythicBitch: _Their names are Mikon and Xandria. Last name Kyokia. They went missing for a few years, along with a younger sister, Tammy. And their mother is still missing. Their mother is named Zira._

SoftSpaceBoi: _its that Zira lady???? The android lady?_

RoseGold: _sure is. You're kidding me... You think they're her three lackeys?_

MythicBitch: _maybe, maybe not. At the very least, we have to get ahold of them. They went missing for awhile after the two twins graduated high school and have only just resurfaced. And their sister, a Tammy Kyokia, she had these huge burn scars when she came back._

DeadassAutomail: _you really think they just left that Zira lady?_

I was about to type out "That's what I wanna know about", but I sensed something. Something faint and far away. Looking over at Raditz, he sensed it too.

"Feel that?" I asked. It felt... Familiar.

"Yeah. Let's go. No rest for us just yet."

We flew off. I wondered... Those three Kyokia kids. They couldn't have just left that Zira woman. So many questions, so little time.


	21. Oh For !@#$'s Sake

Raditz and I landed at what looked like a shack. Smoke came from the door, and whatever power I had sensed had since fled. But it felt so familiar...

"Should we go in?" I asked.

"Duh."

Raditz and I opened the door, coughing against the smoke. The shack led to a stairway, which led down to what looked like a lab. The remains of androids littered the floor. 

"Hey, look at this room."

I heard him call me over, peeking in to see a room full of broken androids. Not just broken, torn to shreds. There'd be barely anything worth scrapping, even. Moving on, we found countless rooms like that. Storage, probably. 

A budding android army? It looked like it. Whoever did this nipped the problem in the bud before we were even fully aware of it.

It dawned on me that we had a much more elusive Future Trunks on our hands. Strange. Speaking of, where was Cold? Surely there would be no Mecha Frieza, but still, Cold would be here. Maybe Cooler. 

Who knows?

Moving on, we found more rooms of destroyed androids. They looked like different models, too. This absolutely had to be Zira's lab. We soon came to a bolted door, seeing a corpse next to a number pad.

Pink hair, a lab coat. Was this Zira Kyokia? I turned her over, seeing her eyes dull and unmoving. Definitely dead.

How convenient. I saw a steaming hole in the bolted door, crawling through it and turning back to Raditz.

"Stand to the side." He said.

"Why?"

"Do it, weakling."

I stood to the side and flinched as Raditz kicked the door down entirely. 

"Was that really necessary?" I asked.

"You think I could fit through that hole like your tiny ass could?"

Shrugging, we looked around the room, seeing a set of 3 pods. Each one had a shattered hole in the glass. I gingerly opened one, screaming as a body fell out.

The body of a little girl. No, not any little girl. I turned around and saw Raditz looking at some sort of file.

"Raditz, a dead 12 year old fell out of this pod!"

"It's those Kyokia people. That one... That's Tammy."

"She's... She's dead. Shit, shit, this is..."

Look, say all you want about their part in what Zira had done. This was a kid. A 12 year old girl. Dead. I stepped away from the body and looked over the file with Raditz.

"Looks like she... She used them to kill my brother and his friends. That dead body out there has got to be Zira. But if these are the Kyokia's, then... Who are the people we were talking about earlier?"

"Yeah, if this is Tammy, and that clothing designer is Tammy, then..."

A strange voice answered from behind us.

_"Bold of you to assume we're from this timeline."_

* * *

Adjusting an eyepatch over her eye, a woman in fighting gear stood waiting. Watching. She scratched at her shoulder with a metal arm, fiddling with a enamel pin of the Scorpio symbol on her chest.

Felt nice to have actual tiddies. She never regretted that choice. Only the shitshow that came after which was completely unrelated to that choice. But anyway, she had already fixed this timeline, in respects to Zira. This, this she just felt like doing while she was here. 

From the skies landed a spaceship. And out stepped King Cold. And Cooler. What strange names. Then again, she was named after a Gem. Clenching her metal fist, she leapt into the sky and landed in front of these two aliens.

"May I ask you why you're here?" She spoke.

"Who's asking?" Cooler asked.

"You don't need to know. Actually, I don't think I need to ask you why you're here. Just a formality. But... Fuck formalities."

Gray wings formed at her back and her hair took on a dark blue shade.

* * *

I turned around and saw a young girl, clad in lolita fashion and half her body scarred by burns. Tammy Kyokia.

"...You're that girl." I muttered.

"Indeed, I am... A version of her." Tammy replied, her voice way too deep to match her young appearance. "Allow me to formally introduce myself. I am Tammy Kyokia. A time traveler escaping the unsavory circumstances caused by one Zira Kyokia, my mother."

"Really? And if you're the same person that helped kill my brother," Raditz spoke up, "Why should we trust you?"

"I do agree, really. You do have no reason to trust my word. But I ask that you do it anyway. Partly to tell you the truth of things, and partly to apologize."

Tammy walked forward, heels clicking against the floor, and held out a gloved hand to Raditz.

"Of course, you are welcome to decline it. But I offer my apologies for my atrocities towards you, on behalf of myself and the corpse on the floor. We brought death upon your friends, your brother, and countless others. And for that... I am sorry."

Raditz hesitated, but nodded and took it.

"I don't think she's lying..." He soon said.

"Indeed. I must ask you this. Were you the ones who... Destroyed this lab?"

"Nope." I answered. "Not sure who did. But we sensed a power level and came here. It was gone before we even got here. Found... This place."

My eyes drifted to the corpse on the floor. Tammy picked it up, and I had to look away. A time traveler carrying her own corpse. Creepy.

"I will dispose of these bodies. Please, wait for me outside. I won't be long."

Raditz and I quickly rushed outside, closing the door. He turned to me and spoke in Saiyan. Or, well, Japanese for me. Interchangeable at this point.

_"You sure about this? We could leave right now."_

_"No, I wanna see how this goes. Look, kids don't just... Commit atrocities. At least give it a-"_

I was cut off by someone landing near us. Turning, I saw a woman that looked like me. Gray wings, a tail. Blue hair that shifted back to black as soon as we met eyes. Or, well... Eye. She only had one eye, and a metal arm.

"...Mom?" A quiet, hitched voice called out to me.


	22. Homestucks Have !@#$ed With Timelines More Than Me

"Quartz?" I called out as the woman scooped me up into a hug.

"I did it... I made it in time! I stopped it! For good! Not like how it went in the anime!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Sorry, sorry... You're right. I'm Quartz. A future version of her. Hey, you're best off making a wish to change her body, if she asks. I haven't looked back since I did."

I looked my future daughter up and down. Faint scars, the metal arm. The eye. The blue hair when she first landed.

"...What happened, munchkin?"

"Oh, god, you were right. We couldn't have predicted it by the DBZ show standards. Zira, she's way more convoluted that Gero ever was." Quartz grabbed my shoulders. "But if you're alive at this point, it worked. I killed the three Hero-Killers she had before they could murder you and most of the others in your sleep, here in this timeline. I only survived because you dragged me to Aven in time. Lost my arm then, too-"

"Hero-Killers..." I stopped her. "Are they... The three people we knew about?"

"Yep! In my timeline, they went missing. I'm gonna figure out where they went when I get back there."

"Munchkin..."

It clicked. I looked to Raditz, and it clicked for both of us.

"(Y/n), does that mean that-"

"-All three of them traveled to this timeline... Quartz, they're here. _Your_ Hero-Killers. And one's down in that lab, disposing of her own corpse."

Future Quartz let me go, a sudden rage filling her eyes. Her hair burst into blue, too dark and too low of a power level to be Super Saiyan Blue. 

"What?! We have to go! Before the other two get here! Don't you see?! They'll trick you and kill you! That's what they do! They're built for stealth, they're built to kill things way stronger than them by stabbing people in the back."

"Quartz, please, there might be-"

"No! Listen to me! Let's go before those monsters get here!"

Future Quartz grabbed my arm to drag me away, until Tammy's voice came from behind me. 

"...You're here, Quartz."

Letting go of me, Quartz growled and pointed at Tammy.

"You can't trick them. Not when I'm here. I know Zira sent you to fuck up my plans. She always does!"

"I know you're upset. You have all the reason to. But you must believe me when I say this. I came to this timeline to build a better life for me and my siblings, _not_ to cause harm. I came here to stop fighting for Zira."

"Bullshit!"

Rushing forward, Future Quartz attacked Tammy, swiping at her with sharp claws on her metal hand. Raditz and I stood frozen, watching them fight.

"What do we do?" I asked.

"I don't know, she's your daughter. We gotta find a way to stop them."

"...Come here."

I beckoned Raditz over and whispered my plan to him, muttering back and forth until we were both happy with it. And then, we waited.

Until Future Quartz fired up a beam attack. 

"Eat this, murderer!"

I rushed forward, my fully healed wings coming out and taking the attack. Raditz then grabbed Tammy and flew off as fast as he could. Future Quartz stopped just as they sped out of sight, looking at me.

"...What the fuck, Mom?"

"Honey, listen to me! There's gotta be more to what Tammy is saying!"

"Yeah, it's called lying. I get it. She's fooled you already. Whatever."

Before I could stop her, Future Quartz turned to leave.

"I'll kill them with or without your help."

She spread her gray wings and flew away. I considered following, but instead I just fell to the ground. I... I had to stop her. 

Wait.

I had to warn the other two. Mikon and Xandria. But fuck, where could I find them?! I went onto the Internet, specifically to Instagram. Maybe they'd have something there. Social media never failed me 

Sure enough, they were partying at some hot club tonight. Looked like a celebration of their little debut doing so well. I flew off at full speed to that club.

All I had to do was get there before Future Quartz had the chance to.

* * *

Music blared as I stood on the rooftops, watching a pair of well dressed twins get into a car and drive off. That had to be Mikon and Xandria. I followed the car as quietly as I could to some sort of penthouse. Damn, that rich already? They really did make it big overnight.

But which one was theirs? I circled around a bit until I saw one of them walk out onto a balcony. That had to be Xandria. Top floor, too. I decided to land on the roof and jump down to meet her face to face. 

"Jeez, could you land on the roof any louder?" Xandria asked.

"You heard that?"

"I got good ears. Hearing gets mighty sharp. Things go bump in the night."

Xandria turned to me, whistling briefly. Out came Mikon, who saw me and immediately flinched.

"X-Xandy, isn't that-"

"Relax." I reassured him. "I'm not here to fight. I'm... here with a warning."

Xandria looked me up and down, and then nodded, bringing me inside. Mikon went in first, mixing all three of us some drinks.

"Which one are you?" Mikon asked. "And how much do you know?"

"(Y/n). I know you're from a bad timeline. I know Zira Kyokia had a huge part in it. I... I figured you weren't willingly taking part in anything."

"Ugh, what gave it away? Fuck my mom." Xandria huffed, sipping on her brightly colored drink. "That bitch took away everything! I had plans! But... Not gonna go on that rant. What's up?"

"Do you know a girl named Quartz? Your version of her is here."

Both of them froze. Mikon was the first to speak, grabbing Xandria's arm.

"...Does she know?" He asked.

"Yeah... She was fighting Tammy. We met her at Zira's lab to find that Future Quartz killed this version of Zira."

Xandria rolled her eyes, her hand clenching into a fist.

"Ugh! Really?! She found Mom before we did! Look, we were trying to find her and stop this before it started. But if Future Quartz is here, then..."

"She's after you. She tried to kill Tammy. Wouldn't listen to me. I'm here for your side of the story."

Mikon and Xandria looked to each other before Mikon answered me.

"First tell us where Tammy is."

"Right here."

Turning to the balcony door, we saw Tammy and Raditz come in. Tammy only looked a little rough around the edges.

"I cannot believe that worked, (Y/n)." Raditz spoke up as Tammy walked over to Mikon and Xandria. The three spoke in whispers too quiet for me to pick up, before turning back to me. Tammy sat in between her siblings, speaking to me and Raditz.

"We will entrust you and whatever allies you have with our side of the story. On the condition that you help us bring Future Quartz to reason."


	23. Unseelie Court; Civil War

A/n: so, real quick before I begin

_Italicized text means that Tammy is telling the story of her timeline, specifically from her perspective_

Underlined text means Future Quartz is telling the story of her timeline, specifically from her perspective

**TW for mentions of shit like: brief mentions of prostitution and child abuse**

* * *

"Ugh, all I can get over is regular Quartz, and Tsuki."

That was an oof, for sure. I got ahold of Tsuki through the Discord and soon saw him show up with little kid Quartz. Oh, pray tell, why was Mikon giving Tsuki absolute fuck me eyes?

Wait, what's the word for "Goddamn I ship us"? Quartz pulled me down and whispered one word in my ear.

"Matesprit."

Oh. Yeah. That. Middle school wasn't leaving my doorstep. Would that make Raditz a moirail? Oh shit it did.

Fuck. Why couldn't I just ditch this fandom?

Xandria and Mikon got everyone settled. No word from Aven or Cargo. Or Druzy. I saw them all go on Do Not Disturb.

Not a good sign. But whatever. The three siblings sat down and Tammy began to speak.

"You are all probably wondering why I have brought you here today. I am here to share our side of the story regarding Zira Kyokia."

_I was a young girl, about 12. My siblings had just graduated a harsh senior year of high school. You see, Xandria had just learned that our school principal had been soliciting Mikon for sexual favors in exchange for money. And he had been doing that since Mikon was 14. Xandria went to the man's house and beat him, and was then arrested. We were unsure whether or not I would be put in foster care. Mikon was incredibly depressed, Xandria was in a state of rage. I was... confused and scared._

_Zira chose to turn us into androids at that moment. To perpetuate those negative emotions, to control them and to therefore control us. She had a fraction of her army ready, and had us kill off the Unseelie Court. Or, rather, all of you. Except for two. Aventurine Jacinth and Quartz (L/n)._

* * *

"You and I lived?"

Aven had since muted her phone. Her, Cargo, and Druzy all sat in front of... Well, a Quartz from the future. 

"Yeah. We'll live longer if the group of us stick together. They might have duped my mother. But we can bring them back from this."

Aventurine helped me survive. When the Hero-Killers came to kill my mom, they took my arm. Aven gave me a new one. She gave me a new eye, too. I keep it under the patch since it detects power levels and I don't need it doing that all the time.

Aven and I fought for so long. There were these three women, they came from space to see my mom. But she was dead by then. They wouldn't help us, it wasn't their fight. I understood. But one of them, Ravya, she explained to me what my mother was. A halfbreed, of a race called the Kyreans. She told me I would either have Super Saiyan, or something known as Color Shift. One or the other. It was Color Shift.

Aven got Super Saiyan when... When Cargo was killed. Truth be told, I don't know what their relationship was in that timeline. Aven never told me. But she eventually went beyond Super Saiyan. Somehow. A grade above, I guess. But... But one of them. The little one with the burn scars.

She killed Aven. In our sleep, of course. It was a wonder we even slept. Those fuckers stalked us for one moment of weakness. One unguarded second. That's all it took. I gained Color Shift after that. Ravya said I could give it my own name, that hers was named Red Velvet. I named mine Lapis Lament.

Aven paled, not daring to look over at Cargo. This was bad. If they fooled (Y/n), something had to be done.

* * *

"You killed Aven?" I asked.

"I knew I had to make the girl snap if she was to survive. And, to be perfectly honest, I had no choice. You see... Zira wants to make all the choices."

_Zira's ultimate goal is a world where only she makes true choices. She believes that Earthlings can only find redemption through giving up free will to her and the androids. And she'll do anything to get it. She secluded different groups of Earthlings over the planet, in cities with high walls guarded by her massive army. Everything is dictated there. When you eat, what you wear, what you do, when you sleep. Step out of line, and you simply disappear like you never existed._

_Me and my siblings were meant to replace her in the eventuality of her death. Virtually immortal android overlords to carry out her sick vision. And Quartz was the only woman standing against them. At the end of the day... Well, my siblings and I escaped thanks to a man named Tanner Kyokia. Our father. He made us a time machine and told us to run. And to never look back._

_By then, I was losing hope. And losing fear. Zira killed our hope, but she slowly took everything. And once you take away everything, you have no control. For what did we have to lose but our pathetic lives? Xandria had lost hope, but her anger grew. Mikon no longer feared death, he invited it. At that point, there was little Zira could do to stop our grim resolve._

_We survived and came here. Built a life. How Quartz followed us, I have no idea._

* * *

"Holy shit, girl. That's risky. I like it."

Druzy laughed, Future Quartz laughing with her and continuing her story 

I stole Zira's time machine plans from someone working under her. Didn't bother learning who it was, she doesn't really give them specific names to use. I can't fathom why she would want time travel. Like, why send the Hero-Killers through time? But I don't care. Whatever she's planning, I'll stop it. We'll stop it. I came here to do that, with or without my mother's help.

Future Quartz sat back, Aven nodding and raising a fist.

" _We'll_ do it, lass. You two with me?"

"Of course. That idiot spared the likes of a Ginyu Force member. Maybe this will... Knock some sense into her?"

"Eh, don't care. Just wanna kick some robot ass." Druzy shrugged, fiddling with one of her pretty knives. Future Quartz grinned, feeling just a little more confident. This had to work. For the future.

For (Y/n).


	24. Order In The Court

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/n: Only about 14 chapters left

"Shit."

I looked at the group chat. A message sent from Aven.

DeadassAutomail: _Its us versus you. Anyone who sides with the androids is against Future Quartz. Anyone who doesn't believe their bullshit can come to (Y/n)'s ship. I've got her meds. She'll have to listen to reason. Won't you, mate?_

Well, we had to go there. We had to fight each other. Yeah, this group wasn't held together very well, but I had a fucking year to make it initially. Hell, I didn't expect to still be alive. I really, truly expected Raditz to kill me, and then made it up on the go because that clearly didn't happen.

Me and my group landed at my ship. With the exception of Quartz and Tammy. Just in case. We got together, staring down Future Quartz and her group.

"Damn, Mom. Good job. Lured two of them into a trap. Now we can just take them out."

"Munchkin, no. You need to listen. They're not to blame."

"If they're not to blame, why'd they run away? Why didn't they fix the problem they made? You know what? Don't answer that. You're not in charge here."

"I may not be in charge, but I know one thing."

"And what's that?"

I spread my black wings and grabbed my bat.

"Being hurt doesn't give you the right to hurt others."

And from there, it went to hell. Or, rather, it was me fighting Future Quartz. The others threw hands, but it died down way before my fight did. 

"Don't you get it mom?! They tricked you into thinking they're blameless!"

"No, they didn't!"

Right... Tammy apologized. She didn't think they were blameless. Why wasn't Future Quartz listening? I didn't want to go all out. I didn't want to hurt my own child.

"Ugh, that little girl must be such a sweet talker. Fell for a sob story? I thought you were better than that, Mom! Think of all _you've_ gone through! And tell me it's an excuse for what they did! Tell me it's an excuse for their crimes!"

At that point, Future Quartz scratches me across the face, blood dripping into my eyes. I fell down, and Future Quartz took that opportunity to attack Mikon, Cargo and Aven jumping in to hold back Xandria and my group grappling with them.

That was it. I clutched at my head and screamed.

_"Would you shut your goddamn mouth and listen?!"_

I felt something surge up through me, seeing my hair turn white. White. Like it was... Back in Writer-San's game. Future Quartz looked at me in shock, smiling just a bit.

"Color Shift... Mom, you did it... It's our chance. Come on! Help me bring the future to justice!"

"And does _this_ look like justice to you?!"

I pointed at her, clutching at Mikon's throat with her metal hand. I even saw tears dripping down Mikon's face. Almost as if he didn't want to die. I rushed forward and smacked her hand away from him, grabbing her by the throat.

"You think they asked for this?! You think I asked for amything?! No! So don't you fucking dare tell me that they wanted this! I don't want to hear a word from you! Unless it's sorry!"

Silence. My hair returned to (h/c) and my wings powered down, and it seemed like everyone was cooling down. Until Cargo actually punched me in the head and knocked me out this time.

* * *

"Cargo!"

Raditz snapped into attacking Cargo the minute (Y/n) went down. Future Quartz dropped Mikon, walking over to her mother.

"Mom? Mommy? Are you...?"

(Y/n) seemed to cough awake, but that soon faded. Future Quartz began to speak in a hurried, rushed tone.

"Please, stay awake! Color Shift drains you until you get better at it! Please, you have to try and stay awake! Mom? Mom?!"

Someone knelt beside Future Quartz. A bruised, bloodied Xandria began feeling for a pulse, until Future Quartz yanked Xandria's hand away.

"Don't touch her."

"Look, you may not value jack shit about me, but I still value you. Just let me-"

"Value me? Don't make me laugh. You tried to kill me! You people cut off my arm! You-"

_"Everyone, stop!"_

And everyone did stop, at the sound of Tsuki's bellowing voice. From him? The sweet one? That would make the fighting freeze.

"This isn't fixing any timelines! This is just getting revenge! This isn't helping anyone! We're just tearing this group apart! And I can't let this happen! You guys gave me a place I could feel safe in. Why do they not deserve the same? After what they were forced to do?"

Tsuki pointed at Xandria and Mikon. Xandria had since pulled her brother close, both of then helping each other stand. Aven bit her lip, shaking her head.

"Mate... Why would Future Quartz lie?"

"She isn't lying if she doesn't know. That's not lying. And we can fix that. But we have to stop this. We have to talk. As a _family_."

Cargo huffed, crossing his arms and turning away from everyone.

"We're _not_ family."

"Then no one's _forcing_ you to stay, Cargo." Tsuki replied. "If we're not a family, then why isn't Druzy staying with her uncle? Why would I be staying at Aven's? Why would we be helping Druzy overcome cannibalism? If we're not a family... Then why did we stick together after Namek was said and done, if not because we felt some sort of connection? Why didn't we just leave each other to the dogs?"

At that, Druzy shook her head and threw her sword down.

"...I'm with Tsuki. I'll listen. Fuck it, if it gets (Y/n) into a healing pod faster, I'll do it."

"Same, mate." Aventurine followed suit. "Fuck, I... I just got so frightened at the story. I don't wanna make excuses or nothing, but..."

All eyes on Cargo. He looked to the ground, finally huffing and turning back.

"Fine. You assholes got me. You want a reward?"

"There we go. That wasn't so hard. Now..." Tsuki turned to Future Quartz. "What about you?"

"...I'll get Mom to a healing pod. Then we'll talk. Or whatever."

Future Quartz doubted this would change her mind.


	25. Bygones

I woke up to someone knocking at the door to my room. Too tired to get up, I just kept my eyes closed as someone walked in and closed the door. Sounded like Future Quartz.

"...Still not awake. Damn it. What have I done?"

She sat next to me, laying her head in my chest and sobbing. I felt that. That sounded like years and years of living in a broken timeline. I was too tired to pin blame at this point. I just wanted to cry and move on.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Please, just wake up. Just... Just wake up, Mom. It's been weeks. Just let me talk to you."

Feeling a bit of strength come back to me, I managed to move my arm enough to run a hand through her hair. She froze, still clinging to me.

"...You're awake?"

"Girl, I should be the one begging forgiveness. I... I shouldn't have snapped at you, munchkin."

"It was Color Shift. Ravya told me a lot of things that I... I disregarded. When she gets here in this timeline, she can explain better. But... Color Shift warps your emotions if you're not careful. I want to blame what I did on Lapis Lament, but-"

"Hey. No more pointing fingers, even at yourself. Just... Here, come up here."

Future Quartz crawled up to lay next to me, her head buried in my shoulder.

"...I just really missed you, Mom. They took you away and I just... I couldn't let it go."

"Well, you can find me in a can of Red Bull, in every slushie you drink and every joint you smoke."

"Oh, that reminds me... I went out shopping. 7-Eleven ran out of Red Bull. But they had a thing called... Bang."

I took a can from her, opened it up, and sipped it. Oh. Oh. Oh yes. It tasted like cotton fucking candy.

"...Its better."

"It is?"

"Minute I get my lazy ass out of bed, I'm telling Raditz."

I tell him every shitty idea I have when I wake up at this point. Which I would go do if I could get up. But no. I tried, but Future Quartz pushed me back down.

"Nope, you're still healing. Color Shift fucks your body up until you get used to it. But its tougher than Super Saiyan. And way more flexible. For now, you need to rest."

"Ugh... Stay with me?"

"Of course."

I sat up and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, seeing three nasty scars clawed into my face. Shrugging, I took a sip of my Bang, seeing that Future Quartz had bought a lot of it.

"...You fight good, munchkin."

"I know. It wasn't like the show. I tried to hard to make my life parallel what happened after Future Aventurine died. But... Didn't work, I guess."

"What was Aven like?"

"She picked me up and got me back on my feet. And got me an arm back. And an eye. She was like a Future Gohan, but much more trigger happy and drank 5 coffees in one day."

"Sounds like Aven."

Future Quartz laughed, her real hand running through my hair.

"...I missed you, Mom."

"Girl, you said that."

"I know. I just really missed you."

I decided to go on Discord, took a picture of myself and Future Quartz, and sent it to the memes chat.

MythicBitch: _i lived bitch_

RedScrunchie: _anyone want to fill her in or should i?_

SlugMan: _is this discord_

MythicBitch: _is that cargo_

LilSlugMan: _yeah and this is zither, why did no one tell me I got to hang out with a talking cat man when I got up this tall tower_

MythicBitch: _idk didnt think other people lived there_

RoseGold: _anyway, we added the Kyokia kids to the server. They joined the Unseelie Court after they cleared everything up about them and Zira. Also you never named the server itself so we did._

SoftSpaceBoi: _see what we can do when we just talk to each other????_

I noticed that the server was now affectionately named _The Evil Fae Circle._ Lovely. I went back to the _memes_ chat and saw Raditz posting the picture of the lady yelling at the cat.

RedScrunchie: _why is druzy saying this is Future Quartz yelling at the Kyokia kids?_

Future Quartz burst into hysterical laughter as I texted a reply.

MythicBitch: _Raditz you goddamn meme-ignorant fuck_

Just then, regular Quartz burst in with three steaming mugs. Smelled like chocolate. Like Ultra Chocolate.

Hell yeah. I got my kids in bed with me and we all gulped down some of this Ultra Chocolate. Especially Future Quartz.

"I missed this shit."

"Same."

"Mommy, is the pretty lady gonna come back?" Quartz asked.

"Which one?"

"Blue hair, pretty dress, burn scars."

"Tammy? Dunno. They've joined us, apparently."

"...I have too." Future Quartz spoke up. I raised an eyebrow, looking over to her.

"What about the future?"

"I'm not ready to go back yet. I don't know if I ever will be, but... I'll go back when I'm strong enough."

"Fair."

I decided to go back to sleep before any other shit happened.

* * *

gae: _I have absolutely done more than suck a dick for cash_

Well wasn't the group chat fun today? It had been two weeks after we tried fighting each other and already this was happening. I'm pretty sure this was Mikon.

MythicBitch: _when was this?_

gae: _high school_

ThotAssBitch: _that's why I beat up our principal, because he was a pedophile that fucked my brother_

And that was Xandria, who then proceeded to send a bunch of pictures to the newly formed _aesthetic_ chat. Which was literally just "take aesthetically pleasing pictures". And a lot of them so far were of Tammy in various lolita dresses. And Tammy was simply named "TeaMaster".

Was this advertising?

I snapped off of the Discord as soon as Raditz slammed down next to me.

"Weakling, what's a sleepover and why does Mikon think we should have one?"

"Uh... Its, like, we all get together and do stupid fun shit that doesn't involve fighting."

"Can... Can we do it?"

"What?"

"Oh my god, don't make me say it twice!"

I raised an eye row and sipped on my mug of Ultra Chocolate.

"Raditz, are you ashamed to admit that you wanna have a sleepover?"

"Shut up!"

"It's fine. I'll get the snacks together. Granted, anyone who doesn't want to go can do their own thing. Let's, uh... Ask the group chat."

I posted the question to the group chat, and the main replies were either "what's a sleepover" and "will there be food".

Seemed like a fun idea.


	26. Sip On The Tæ

Future Quartz did not quite like the idea of a sleepover. So, instead, she tagged along with Tammy, Quartz, and Zither. To a fancy restaurant where everyone stared at them.

Seemed like fun.

"This is... An interesting menu." Future Quartz muttered as Zither just sipped on water.

"Chickie nuggies." Quartz put her menu down, having made up her mind.

Tammy stayed silent, sipping on a cup of warm tea. Cherry blossom tea. Future Quartz also had a cup that she occasionally sipped from.

"...This is good tea." Future Quartz soon spoke up.

"Indeed. Will you two ladies be interested in more? I make excellent tea."

"Oh, uh... Sure. When?"

"Well, dinner should not be too long, even with your appetites. I can lead you home."

"Yeah, sure..."

This felt strange. Future Quartz looked at Tammy, sipping on her tea like nothing was wrong. Or awkward. About any of this. Her mortal enemy for so many years was now enjoying a quiet dinner two feet away from her.

Time flies.

"...Tammy?"

"Yes?"

"I... I don't know. Don't you feel awkward at all about this?"

"Not awkward. At unease. But I am always at some form of unease. Such is life when Zira is after you..."

"Huh? Zira's not after us. Once I get strong enough-"

"You will not have time." Tammy interrupted. "I predict we have... Perhaps a few years before she makes something capable of destroying us. Such is the price of fighting her, I am afraid."

Future Quartz put her cup of tea down, her metal fist clenching. 

"...Like what? What are we up against, Tammy?"

"I don't know. But I know my mother. She is patient, persistent even. Dangerous. She will not rest until we are but examples to her Earthlings. Proof that she is right, that we are fundamentally incapable of making our own choices."

"And how long?"

"At least a few years." Tammy took one more sip before pouring herself more tea. "I hope it will be enough for us."

* * *

"Sit the fuck down!"

So, uh, maybe Mikon brought some drinks. And maybe I had some. And maybe that led to everyone who decided to have a sleepover in my living room, me doing my absolute best to brush Raditz's long ass hair.

"Was me taking an entire shower really necessary?"

"Girl, yeah." Xandria piped up, squished next to Mikon next to me. "Like, your ass ain't never used conditioner in your life, of course we had to make you shower. Look how smooth and spiky it is!"

"Okay, shut up you two. Raditz, do you not know that the scrunchie is for your hair?" I asked.

"It is? You never wear it in your-AGH! Don't pull so hard!"

I threaded that entire wad of hair through one red scrunchie and sat back.

"Oh, you big baby, I didn't pull hard at all."

I looked over and saw Aven showing off one of her legs to Cargo. Pretty ones. Not fighting ones. To be fair, I was already kind of tipsy so I couldn't tell what pattern was on it. But they seemed to be having fun. 

Aww, cute. I huffed as Raditz put an elbow on my head, like I was a fucking armrest. 

"The fuck?"

"Shut up, weakling, you're the one who dragged me out and did my fucking hair."

"It looks cute on you!"

"I'm not cute!"

"Hands up you think Raditz is cute with a scrunchie on."

Probably not the best time to get an accurate response, but whatever. Everyone except Aven and Cargo put their hands up. Because Aven and Cargo weren't paying any attention to anything except Aven's ever growing collection of cute prosthetic legs.

"...Fuck you guys."

"No, Raditz, we're asexual."

I looked over at another corner of the room, seeing Tsuki and Mikon really chatting it up. Maybe it was me being drunk, but I felt like playing Cupid and I did not wanna do it alone. 

So I leaned down and whispered in Raditz's ear.

"Idea."

"What?"

"Wanna play matchmaker?"

"The fuck is that?"

"Ugh, all we gotta do is get Tsuki and Mikon together. Somehow."

"Why?"

"Cause I wanna."

"...Let's do it, what the hell?"

Okay, how to do this? I would have asked that question if Xandria had not leaned over to me with a drunk sounding giggle.

"You say shit about Mikon and Tsuki?"

"You heard that?" Raditz asked.

"I have good ears. Zira enhanced my hearing, I'm a stealth model. Anyway, not gonna go down that... I wanna help. But I want something."

"Which is?" I replied.

"Match me up with that Druzy chick. She's cute."

Raditz and I looked over at Druzy, who was currently attempting to make more pizza rolls. I would need to get more. Speaking of, when was the next tournament and how could Raditz and I rig it? 

Was Hercule a thing? Oh, boy, would Raditz and I totally rig that shitty tournament. Come on, you don't just _let_ a con artist win for years and years. Heh, if he is on his bullshit in this world, I could work that into a money making scheme.

"Uh... Sure thing."

"Great. See ya."

Xandria immediately walked over to Mikon and Tsuki and started chatting them up. Meanwhile, Raditz and I rubbed our one sober brain cell to think of a way for Druzy to stop making pizza rolls. Speaking of which, she was finishing another box.

Idea. I told Raditz, and then proceeded to explain something in depth. We then agreed, and waited for Mikon and Tsuki to stumble outside. Probably Xandria's suggestion.

"Uh... Ey, y'all wanna watch Jojo?"

Druzy and Xandria said yes, while Aven and Cargo still ignored everything. So I set up some Jojo. Part one, duh. I saw Xandria immediately sidle up to Druzy and left them alone.

Mission accomplished. I suddenly craved a slushie.

"Raditz?"

"Yeah?"

"Slushies?"

"Hell yeah."

The two of us did our best to stumble outside, while tipsy and in low lighting. On my way out, I passed by Aven and Cargo.

"Oi, green bitches, Jojo's on. I'm just gonna get a slushie."

"Bloody hell, eh? Come on, Cargo, let's go watch."

Those two walked over as we left, the call of "SONO CHI NO SADAME" ripping through my soul as I stepped out and screamed "JOOOOOOOOOJO!" at the top of my lungs.

"...Weakling, I really don't know how you're still alive when you're this much of a dumbass."

"Shut. Slushies."

We eventually made our way to a 7-Eleven, joking about some inane bullshit. Also ignoring all the fucked up shit that happened a few weeks ago. I had yet to really address that Color Shift thing.

But we eventually made it to the roof of 7-Eleven, slushies in hand.

"...Damn, we are stupid." I muttered.

"Well, duh, that's how I've gotten along with you. Stupid."

"I'm flattered. If I was maybe 5 years older and liked dick, we could be something."

"What if I was five years younger and liked pussy?"

"Maybe... I dunno. Even if we were the same age and were capable of the romantic shit, we'd never work out."

After one long sip of slushie, Raditz spoke up.

"Why's that?"

"Dunno, maybe it's drunk me talking," I replied, "But we ain't meant to be shipped. We keep each other grounded. We're, like, platonic soulmates regardless of us being ace/aro. We're moirails. If you get it."

"What the actual shit is a moirail?"

"...I really need to let that fandom go already."

Look, Quartz picking Homestuck up really brought out that middle school craze in me. For now, I just settled down as Raditz, one again, used my head as an armrest.

"You're doing it again."

"Not my fault your head is armrest level."

Heh. We both laughed and finished our slushies, not leaving the roof of 7-Eleven. Fuck, I would give anything to just stay like this. With someone that understood me and didn't ask for a romantic relationship. What I would give for the vibes to always be "7-Eleven rooftop with a best friend and a slushie" vibes.


	27. IT'S THE FINAL COUNTDOWN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/n: A MENTAL BREAKDOWN

Nope, good vibes never stay. Always replaced by garbage bag vibes. Always. That's the number one rule of DBZ. There's always a bigger fish. A bigger villain that's totally stronger and more evil than the last one.

Was there ever a break from that cycle? I wondered that when Tammy told us the news. That the Zira if her timeline would eventually find us. Who knows what she would send? Tammy and her siblings theorized that it would be a stronger android. From their descriptions of what they knew, sounded like something close to a Bio-Android. Sounded right for a Cell arc. 

Now, what did this all lead to? Well, training. A lot of it. Specifically, for me, Color Shift. I knew what Future Quartz knew. It was a transformation gained by Kyreans, each person had their own color. Aside from the initial instability of Color Shift, Future Quartz and I really knew so little about it, or even about Kyreans for that matter. Because guess what? They weren't in the show and I had no frame of reference. 

Until...

One day, I spent the whole afternoon with Future Quartz. Was one of the side effects being depressed regardless of if I took my meds? I mean, meds alone weren't supposed to fix _everything_ , but damn. It was like they didn't do _anything_. Future Quartz and I fought until I saw a strange ship land.

And then I saw Ravya stumble out and run to me.

"Trench! Trench-Friend!"

"...You're that Ravya girl, right?"

"I here! I say I come here and teach you, right?" Ravya skidded to a stop in front of me, seeing Future Quartz. "Who is that friend?"

Future Quartz stepped back, not showing her gray wings again. That left me with this 8 foot tall, powerful warrior. That also looked so cuddly. She sat cross-legged on the ground, and I sat next to her, noticing catlike eyes locked onto me.

"I not know how this is possible. Kyreans not... Not breed like others. We make children to replace those who die. So children very rare, and raised by all. I not really know what "parent" mean, even after all this time. But maybe that's because I not... I not speak good."

"That's fine. Do they not teach you the common language?" I really had to try to not say English. Just think of it like DnD, with Common.

"No. Kyreans really not leave our home. I not supposed to say where it even is. I... I not supposed to go back." Ravya explained. "Once you leave, you stay with the outside place forever. No outsider ever come to Kyrea ever again."

"Why not?"

"Bad things happen. Kyreans used to be strong like you. Like your friends and mine. But... Too many people come nag-nagging. For training, fighting. Some came to kill, to prove they could. A small group of Kyreans say _'enough'_ , and they leave to find a new place. The ones that didn't... We learned later. They die. Someone else came to kill... And they kill. One survivor found the new planet and tell us. And since then, we shut out people. But not me."

Ravya laid back onto the ground, her eyes to the skies.

"I want to see things no other Kyrean will. I want to see new planets and make new friends. So I leave. They say never come back, for fear of being followed by outsiders. I do that."

"Wow..." A planet of fighters giving up their power because it got too much attention? Seemed kind of fresh.

"But anyway! I tell you about what Kyreans do! Wings, and Color Shift!"

"Yeah, about that... My hair, it turned white for a while, I-"

"You got it! Color Shift! I tell you!" She sat up, her enormous white wings flaring out from her back. They then turned red, as did her hair and eyes. As for her power level, it shot upwards. 

"Is that... Yours?"

"Yes! Is mine! Red Riot!"

Oh my fucking god no one show her My Hero Academia.

"It will be... Bad at first. Make you feel weird. Make you act weird. But you train with it and it will be overcome. Color Shift adapt to you and how you fight. It is yours, only yours. Color Shift not be the same for each Kyrean. Some become stronger. Or faster. Maybe more stamina. You make Color Shift yours."

Adaptable. Nice. I watched Ravya return to normal, asking another question.

"How did you get it?"

"It was scary. Friends and I were cornered. I scared, I want to survive."

"Was it rage?"

"No, just... Fear. Desperate, I guess."

So the catalyst wasn't limited to rage, either. That sort of explained mine. I was angry, but I wasn't Super Saiyan level angry. And I wasn't _just_ angry. Frustrated, hurt, depressed, scared, there was a lot going on at that moment.

"Alright... So, Ravya?"

Part of me wanted to ask for her help. But no. This wasn't her fight. I had no right to drag someone into this. Besides, she wasn't alone. Those other two women, I could only assume were bounty hunters, they probably had plans. Not my place to disrupt them.

"Yes, friend?"

"...Take care, okay? And come visit. You seem nice."

"I nice? I come back!" Ravya hugged me and spun me around. "I come back for Trench-Friend! Bring cupcakes!"

"You like cupcakes?"

"Love love _love_ cupcakes!"

"How about we go get some before you leave?"

I swear, the way her face lit up kind of made my day. For sure would not get any more training done, but... It was way too cute. Part of me wondered who she was. What was her story? How did she meet those other two, Bell and Rosa? 

Maybe if she ever came by again, I could ask.


	28. Guess Who's Busy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/n: It's me. I'm busy. So here's a chapter that essentially sums up Raditz and (Y/n)'s relationship
> 
> Also I have canonically made a non-reader version of her named Marcella. As in MC. No she totally isn't gonna be in my newest fanfic idea I came up with in a craze-

"What the fuck are you doing? Why is there food in your dresser?"

I nudged Raditz out of the way as I slammed a microwave onto my dresser. Right next to the mini fridge I got. Did I steal these things? Perhaps. I didn't want to make my shady World Martial Arts Tournament ring until after Zira.

"You're just mad that we didn't think of this _before_."

"You put dishes in the drawer too, weakling, what the actual shit?"

"So I don't have to get out of bed."

"You don't get out of bed _anyway!"_

"This is a _great_ idea, what are you talking about? No more crawling to the kitchen at 3AM for a bowl of cereal."

"You moved half your clothes to your overstuffed closet so you could make a bowl of cereal at 3AM?!"

"Yes I did!"

"Fucking _sewer rat_. That's what you are. Everything with you ties back to your stupid Earthling food."

"You take that back! As if you didn't backstab me in Amomg Us last night. I was doing my tasks and then you come up and shoot me!"

"You're the one that wanted me to play that stupid human game, rat!"

This went on for a while. And by a while, I mean it went on for five minutes until I went out to the living room and brought in a big box.

"Okay, we have 2 hours to set up an IKEA bunk bed before training, and neither of us have ever done that. At least, it's been a while for me."

"What in the actual shit is IKEA?" Raditz asked, as Raditz is prone to do whenever I bring up niche Earthling things.

"...Open the box and learn what Hell truly is, Raditz."

Raditz gave me his usual disappointed look and opened the box.

"It's pages with pictures."

"Yeah. Now, let's figure out what the pictures _mean_."

"...Fuck."

He was learning the true meaning of assembling IKEA furniture for the first time.

* * *

3 hours. 

I called the bottom bunk, mainly because I was the one who got up at 3AM for food and Raditz typically wasn't. He usually slept like a baby. Even on the couch. So imagine my surprise when I awaken to an angry growl. I'd describe it as loud, but it wasn't loud. It was maybe half-loud. 

It took me a minute to realize Raditz probably had a nightmare. What can you do when you have pretty severe PTSD and no viable way to get a therapist? I mean, what do you even say? "I'm a space alien conditioned to be an expendable soldier since childhood that served under the man who destroyed my race and made it clear he hated us out of racism"?

"...You good?"

Nothing. Just silence as I saw him drop a hand over the edge of the bed. I grabbed it, staying silent for a little while until he spoke up.

"(Y/n)?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you come up here?"

I climbed up and sat next to him, seeing him wide eyed and in tears Holy shit, it was worse than I thought. I gave him a hug, knowing it was okay. This may or may not have been something of a norm after one of us had a nightmare.

Probably not healthy to consider "waking up either in tears or screaming" normal, but what can you do?

"...You wanna talk about it?"

"Why? It's just the same thing, over and over again. I'm low class. I'm expendable. It's my duty and pride as a Saiyan to die fighting. And we were kids, we believed it... I think, to some extent, even that prick Vegeta did. He had to be the royal heir, all powerful and mighty. And I had to be a warrior, ready to throw my life away for the sake of the fight."

I had almost forgotten about Vegeta. Regret stung in my heart as I remembered how we killed him. Thinking about it this way... That was a mistake.

"Seems like you've got something to say, at least."

We both chuckled, Raditz looking away from me.

"...Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why'd you do this? Why'd you waste time with me? Aren't I the villain in this story? In my own brother's story?"

"This isn't his story, now is it?"

"...Maybe if I got here earlier." He looked back at me, tearing up again. "Maybe it could have been _his_ story, too. Maybe if I just gave a shit about him, maybe he'd-"

"Hey. Stop that. You couldn't have known. I couldn't have known." I interrupted. "As far as all... All the Writer-San dimension jumping stuff goes... We couldn't have known this would come of it. It's not your fault Goku died before he could live his life. It's no one but Zira's and Writer-San's."

Raditz seemed to smile, wiping his eyes a bit. At least he was cheering up a bit.

"You think he would have forgiven me?"

"Of course. Even when you fought against him, Goku wanted to spare you. Even when your remorse wasn't real, he believed it because he believes in mercy. Your remorse is real this time. I'm sure he'd welcome you with open arms if he could see you, dead or otherwise."

"Goku, huh? That's... A nice name."

I laughed, feeling Raditz hug me just a little tighter. There was once a time where I'd flinch. But no. I could trust this.

"...Can I ask you something?" Raditz spoke up.

"Yeah."

"Does this... Make you uncomfortable?"

I tilted my head, shrugging.

"Explain."

"(Y/n), I'm a guy that's, what, 10 years older than you? And we're best friends? That live together? People are gonna get the wrong idea about this no matter what."

"Raditz, I trust you to not be a creep even if you weren't aromantic. You're not Roshi."

"...Who?"

"I'll explain later. Point is, if I was uncomfortable... You'd know."

I sat in silence for a little while. I'd sit here until the sun rises if that's what he needed. He'd do the same for me. He had done the same for me. 

"...You were in my nightmare." Raditz suddenly muttered.

"I was?"

"Yeah... Sometimes you're there. Fighting against the Saiyan invaders. And I know you'd be right for doing so. But you always find me. And you always kill me with this look of just... Hatred. And, I dunno... Maybe..."

"Maybe what?"

"Maybe it's because you're the first person to treat me like a person."

"It can do that. Like your brain is trying to warn you that I'll turn on you one day. I won't."

"...Thanks."

We didn't go back to sleep. I instead put on some cutesy episode of Umaru-Chan and made some popcorn, to try and distract the two of us. This all just felt too real. My mind drifted back to Jeice begging for mercy, to my fight with Vegeta. To what could have been if I had just made an effort to save his life. To be like Goku for once, merciful and kind. 

I wondered where Jeice was now. Hopefully someplace better. Maybe he'd make something of himself. He deserved that chance. My stomach churned when I remembered that maybe Vegeta, Zarbon, Dodaria, and all the other people I've helped kill deserved that chance too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/n: This relationship is the definition of whiplash


	29. The Crackhead Questions If She Really Is Just On Drugs At This Point

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/n: I'm going to roll a d20
> 
> If it gets above 15, I will post all the remaining chapters in one go

Me and the girls decided to get together and just fight in the woods. Yes, this was training. Me and the girls being literally all the girls. We couldn't get the guys to come with us.

Pussies.

Yeah, yeah, punch punch boom Druzy has swords and Aven shoots through her legs. Oh, an new info, it is literally next to impossible to sneak up on Xandria and Tammy, and they fight each other as if they're trying to kill each other. Oof. After all that generic training montage shit, we stopped and Aven came up to me.

"Mate, I got you your meds. You need me to drop them off?"

"Huh?"

"I said-"

"Oh, uh, drop them off."

I gotta let it load first. I also needed to contemplate telling Aven that I had stopped taking my meds. Shit, was it getting bad again? Well, got other things to worry about. Like that bitch Zira. I went off on my own, found a quiet grassy place, and laid down, staring at the sky.

This was my life now. Fighting aliens. Living an anime storyline. Not even the borderline shounen gag manga style of DBZ. This was how I lived now. I drifted back to the days of running through school hallways as I closed my eyes, as training tends to make you fucking tired.

"Told you."

My eyes snapped open to see Writer-San laying next to me. No more cracks, no bleeding light. Seems like it was fully healed. I shrugged, turning away.

"And?"

"Oh, don't be like that. You can't just smugly push me away."

"Watch me."

"I have. It's not working and we both know it."

I sat up and looked over at Writer-San, my lip curling into a faint snarl.

"What do you want?"

"Oh, I don't know what I want. You, mostly. But enough about want. The question you should ask is... What do I have?"

"...What do you have?"

"An offer. No games for now. Just an offer."

I looked around, seeing that everything had frozen and realizing that this was another dream. So, as far as the others would know, I was just taking a little nap. I turned back to Writer-San, still wary.

"And what if I refuse?"

"Oh, too bad, I guess you'll all have to die when Zira sends her champion over."

"You know what she's sending? Is that part of this offer?"

Writer-San laughed, putting an icy hand on my cheek. I flinched away, the hand moving to my shoulder.

"I love you, (Y/n). So much more entertaining than the other sheep you call friends. You just have to use my power to beat your enemies. Just one time. And then..."

"Then what?"

"I'll let you go home."

My heart froze, words catching in my throat as the surroundings changed. It changed to an icy road outside a 7-Eleven. Wait... This was the one near my school. I saw a group of kids walking towards it, looking down and seeing my old winter coat draped over my shoulders.

"...Home?"

"I've recovered my power. I'd do anything for you, my love. And... Perhaps I was too harsh on you."

"You _think_?"

"Whatever the case may be, you don't have to choose yet. Just call my name, and I'll swoop right over here. Do you remember my power? The power of Mary Sue? To be honest, this whole Kyrean thing was my original idea, if you were to ever fall in love with one of those fine men I picked for you... A good explanation for who you were. Too bad you went with the truth."

"The Kyreans were your idea? To explain my existence?"

"Well, yes, to put it simply... Mary Sue is just the final form of Color Shift, in terms of power. Perhaps you'll reach it again. But if you ever need to without going through all that training, call me."

Everything snapped to black as I woke up. That was different. But no way was I taking that offer. No, I could train.

Hopefully.

* * *

_'She isn't bloody taking them... Fockin' hell, I can't keep this to myself anymore! Somethings wrong with her and that's got something to do with it!'_

Aven hastily sent a message to Druzy and Cargo, flying over to (Y/n)'s ship briefly. Heading in, she saw Raditz and Future Quartz talking, catching a bit of their conversation.

"...Mom's gonna be fine."

I dunno, the rat's been acting off lately."

"Is she taking her meds?"

"I guess?"

"You guess or you know?"

Before Raditz could reply, Aven held up two bottles of meds, getting their attention. Was this a breach of trust? She wasn't sure, but she had to bring it up.

"...Can I talk to you two?"

"Sure." Future Quartz sat back, scratching her cheek with her metal arm.

"I know about... About that anime she has in her room. The one where Raditz dies and none of us blokes exist."

Raditz and Future Quartz bristled, Aven going on.

"I... I dunno mates, something like that has got to be eating at her inside. I'm worried. Is it just me or does she-"

"-She's getting worse, Aven, we get it. How'd you find out about... Well, the truth about this world?" Raditz asked.

"Found the box she has in her room before you all went to Namek. Haven't told anyone but... I really think we should. I know there's more to this than what she told me. Which wasn't a whole lot. And if something happens, we should know beforehand, right?"

Future Quartz looked over to Raditz, before looking back at Aven and sighing.

"...I guess. Look, I can explain it, but we can't tell my mom. She's so adamant that we keep it secret. I mean, I wasn't there the whole time and part of it involved me dying, but I can tell you what I know."

"You sure about this?" Raditz asked, glancing away in doubt.

"Raditz, maybe it's best they know the truth. If she snaps, we'll at least know why."

Aven got to texting the others to come over before (Y/n) got back. She probably was taking a well deserved nap.


	30. Look How Far We've Come

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/n: The gods wanted the rest of this so hard, I rolled a fucking 20
> 
> Whole ending is coming out as a spooky scary gift from the skeletons at war. Also a very early Christmas gift, too

"...Interesting."

Tammy was the first to speak up, sipping on her cup of cherry blossom tea. Everyone else stared at the two Quartzes in varying shades of astonishment.

"I-I wanna call you crazy, but..." Druzy stammered. "I literally just watched an episode of Raditz being evil as a personality. You're telling me there's an entire _series_ of that? In the world she comes from?"

"Multiple." Future Quartz replied. "I've never been there. But I heard her describe it. Its a shithole she can't fight with ki blasts. But it's home to her."

Silence for a bit. Then Mikon raised his hand, speaking in a hushed voice.

"...Is this place real?"

"It is now." Raditz replied. "This is how she knew about Frieza. How she knew what would happen on Namek."

"Did Jeice not beg for mercy in, what is this, anime?" Cargo asked, seeing Future Quartz shake her head and going on. "That makes more sense. I thought it was just her being... Easily swayed."

"Guys, why can't we just talk to her about this?"

Everyone turned to Tsuki, who looked at all of them like they were crazy.

"If we know she's not okay, why can't we just ask? Why play this stupid game?"

"It'll set her off." Xandria muttered, casting a glance to Mikon. "Tsuki, you can't just talk about it all the time. It might just end up with her clamming up and not saying anything. I think we need to keep this in mind, but focus on Zira. Zira's the more immediate threat. Am I right?"

Future Quartz began to nod, Tammy sipping on her tea and watching the others slowly agree. Tsuki walked off, Mikon walking after him until Druzy spoke up.

"Speaking of the whole android threat. I have a problem. My uncle went missing."

"...Go on." Tammy turned to Druzy.

"He technically can make androids." She began to explain. "And he definitely knew about Zira here in this timeline. I went back to his house to... Have some words. His house is fucking barren. All his android designs, all the projects, its all gone. I can't tell if the feds found about about his black market business, or if it's more serious."

"Did he ever talk to you about Mom?" Mikon asked. "Like, at all?"

"In passing? I dunno, he only thought she'd be a competitor in his whole underground android slave trade. But she wasn't, so he lost interest. Or so I thought. I mean, I don't know if it has anything to do with-"

Just then, (Y/n) popped in.

"...What's up?

* * *

They knew.

They fucking knew. Aven snitched and got Raditz and my kids to snitch, too. Can't I trust anyone in this house?! I pressed an ear to the door of my ship, hearing snippets of them talking. They were worried? About what? Me? Why? I'm fine.

Maybe they were worried I'd go crazy and kill them all, like a bunch of fictional characters. Maybe they were worried I was more Trench than (Y/n). Trench... Was that the new label for the (Y/n) that saw everyone as fictional? Was that what they saw me as? Fucks sake. I can't trust them. As least not fully. Not even my own daughter. Just pretend like I'm dumb to all this and wait and see.

I burst in when Druzy started talking about her uncle, pretending to be surprised at everyone sitting around a table.

"...What's up?"

"(Y/n), my uncle went missing." Druzy began explaining again. "Dunno if it's an issue or not. I mean, it's not like Zira is here, right?"

"That's a possibility."

Everyone turned to Xandria. Tammy then picked up where her sister left off.

"Our mother is resourceful. It's entirely possible that she has spies here. My siblings and I try to keep watch, but we cannot watch everywhere. Just because we haven't caught Zira doesn't mean she isn't watching us."

"So, what do we do?" Cargo asked.

"Pretend that she is watching." Xandria replied. "Pretend she's there all the time. It's how you survive her." 

* * *

Later that night, I snapped awake gasping for air. Turles one this time. Those were the worst. I saw Raditz's hand hanging over the side of the bunk bed, reaching out to grab it. But no. I stopped before I did, staring at it. He could tell everyone my secret that I trusted him to keep, then turn around and try to give me comfort.

Seemed kinda sus. 

I closed my eyes and tried to sleep again, finding myself drifting off too easily. Another dream from Writer-San. I found myself sitting in infinite space, Writer-San next to me.

"...Do you give me nightmares?" I asked.

"No, that's just you"

"Hmph... I can't believe Raditz snitched on me. I never wanted them to find out! I thought that'd be obvious! They don't deserve to live with that kind of knowledge."

"And he does?"

"Like you're one to talk, you got me into this."

"And is that an excuse for telling Raditz his world is fake? I wonder if he felt like he had a choice when he sided with you. Think about it, (Y/n)... Someone shows you an animated sequence of your death and claims to be able to change it. Someone who analyzed you for hours in order to best convince you. You talk on and on about what they've done to you, but do you ever consider what you do to them?"

I didn't reply, turning away and shrugging. Did I? I can't say that I did. No, I shouldn't listen to Writer-San, not after...

"What are you trying to say?" I asked.

"I'm just saying, love, you're a bit selfish. Always crying about your own suffering. Those three Kyokia's have gone through worse than you, you know... Do you really have any right to complain to them? To Aven, who lost her legs and almost her lungs? To Raditz? The man was raised to be disposable. And you had a good father."

Instead of crying, I brought my knees to my chest and rested my head on them, staring into the infinite space.

"I know... But I should be there for them. Better than I have been."

"Well, don't you ever get tired of that burden? Don't you just want to snap?"

Writer-San got up, putting a cold hand on my shoulder.

"Remember my deal, love. Maybe you can save your friends and destroy your enemies with my help."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/n: Writer-San needs moon shoes to jump from topic to topic like that


	31. Yikes

I sat at the captains chair of my ship, Heather purring next to me as I patted her head. Her overgrown ass sat in my lap, keeping me warm. It had been... Okay, I really was losing my sense of time. A few weeks since those fuckers snitched on me. And all in all, it had been almost a year and a half since Tammy warned us about Zira's upcoming attack.

People had been in and out of the time chamber after Zither did some sweet talking. I hadn't. I wouldn't make it out of there.

"...Got something on your mind?" Heather asked.

"Nah." It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the truth. I had 20 things on my mind and couldn't figure out what was what. Hell, it took me a minute to realize I was getting some kind of transmission. A message? I pulled it up. Maybe it was an SOS. 

Imagine my surprise when Turles pops up.

"Hello, (Y/n). You should have told me we had a child. I'll be coming by to Earth to pick you two up. Just hold tight. I'll be honest, I was going to go to Earth earlier. But you love that ball of dirt so much... Be glad I let it live. To be honest, I should have just checked Earth the second you escaped. How thoughtless of me. I'll make it up to you, I swear. After all... You leaving set off a reaction in me. You're going to love it when you see it."

I saw him holding one of the fruit from the Tree Of Might. Oh god. He found a planet far less defended than Earth to grow the tree. I felt Heather put a paw on my chest as I balled up a fist.

"Easy..."

He knew where I was, I should have known he'd find me, I should have known he was serious about finding me I should have known should have known-

"Easy."

No. I slammed my fist into the wall behind me, cracking the metal. The door open and I closed the message in time to turn and see Raditz come in.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

"You punched the wall. What's going on?"

"You don't need to know."

I got up and stormed outside, seeing Heather pass me by and nudge the Quartzes outside. I heard Future Quartz mutter something to little Quartz before they left, leaving me and Raditz and I alone together. And we were both pissed.

"That doesn't sound like nothing to me, weakling."

"Sounds like you need hearing aids."

"Oi, cut the shit. What's going on? Why are you being so secretive all of a sudden?"

"Secretive? How's this for secrets?" I snapped. "I heard you guys talking to the others."

"About what?"

"About me. About where I'm from. About the reality of this world. That it's all a fucking fake." My hands balled into fists as my eyes began to burn. "I heard you tell them. That was my secret to tell. Mine! And you took that from me! I was supposed to decide if they learned that!"

I'd never felt this angry before. Granted, my old life never involved being torn from my home and then repeatedly assaulted. I glared at Raditz, and he glared back at me.

"I told them because I'm worried. We're all worried! We have the right to be worried about you! Especially now, when Zira could attack any day! Look, I get it. You're from another world, you're scared, this isn't what you wanted-"

"Damn _right_ it isn't. Writer-San was right." I yelled, my voice breaking. "It isn't what I want. I hate this place. I hate this fake world. I _hate_ how human you all are! I hate that I can't just fight and win like it was in the anime! Why can't it be that simple?! Why can't this just be a fucking shounen?! But no, it had to be so _realistic_! I made fun of the power of friendship, but I wish it was that fucking easy! _I can't take this anymore!_ "

That was it. I ran out of my ship and burst into the skies, Raditz yelling for me to come back. His voice faded into nothing as I kept flying, seeing my hair turn white and feeling Color Shift take over. Was that making it worse? I think it was. Or was I thinking? Too many things to think about, worry about, obsess over until I couldn't sleep. Obsess over what, though? Ten thousand trains of thought with intermittent stops and crashes?

Fuck it, do I care anymore? What's the point of this? All this fighting. What's the point when I'm no better than the fuckers I kill? Hey, ever wonder what feeling deafeningly numb and infinitely chaotic at the same time feels like? Feels like hellfire.

I then realized I was in the middle of the wastelands. Again. I slumped to the ground, falling out of Color Shift. And I cried. I tried to stop it. I tried to hold it in. I didn't succeed, but I at least held it in a bit. I shouldn't have yelled at him. Why do I always hurt people that don't deserve it? He was just trying to help me. Maybe get it off his chest that his world was fake.

Why did I tell him I hated how human they all were? 

"I didn't mean it, I didn't mean it... I didn't mean it."

"Mean what?"

I strange, almost grating voice came from above me. I looked up into a pair of red eyes. Red. His eyes weren't supposed to be red. And where was his power level? But...

Those were Turles' cruel eyes if I ever saw them. Just with a cybernetic twist and a symbol of the letter Z.

* * *

"Have you seen her?"

_"Huh? Nah. I've been trying to find my uncle. She hasn't come by."_

"Damn it! And Tsuki and Mikon are still in the time chamber?"

_"Yeah. Xandy's with me, too. Aven and Cargo are training, if you can get ahold of the-What the hell?! Xandria!!"_

Future Quartz heard the sound of Druzy's yells and dropped her phone, going outside and finding Raditz hunched over his phone. Quartz looked up from it, poking Raditz to make him look up too.

"She isn't answering. Any of the others have anything?" Raditz asked.

"No, something happened to Druzy. Come on, we need to go."

"What about (Y/n)?!"

"This is more urgent! It has to be Zira!" Future Quartz turned and spread her wings, her hair flaring a dark blue. "Quartz-"

"I'm finding Mommy!"

Quartz spread her own gray wings, darting into the air before Raditz or Future Quartz could stop her. After a second, Raditz spoke up. 

"I'll follow her. You get to the others."

With that, they flew off in two separate directions.


	32. All Hail The Lady

Future Quartz landed at Druzy's house. Or what was left of it. She saw a sleeker, more well built version of her time machine, seeing four milky white androids attacking Druzy and Xandria. The only thing interrupting their white clothing was the emblem of the letter Z.

"Quasars. Of course she sent a squad of _Quasars_ right off the bat."

Her metal hand clenching into a fist, Future Quartz leapt in between Xandria and one of the Quasars, her wings blocking one of the blasts. That gave Druzy enough time to slice it in half. Even then, it tried to crawl its way to Future Quartz, as the other three fell back into a group.

"What the hell are those things?!" Druzy snarled, standing next to Xandria.

"Quasars. Of course she sent them." Xandria replied, clutching her pink scythe just a little tighter. "Former humans. No more or less intelligence than whatever mindless robot you can whip up."

"Stick together. They'll try to separate us. Whatever you do, do not let them split us apart!"

As Future Quartz yelled that out, the Quasars looped back to attack, and three more emerged from the trees. Of course Zira sent more than four.

* * *

"Bloody fockin' hell, ya damn wankstains! I swear on me mum you'll eat these metal feet of mine, you bloody fockin Kybers!"

Cargo truly had no idea what she was trying to say. But as long as she was fighting, he didn't care. The last of the white androids fell to the ground as Aven's blade leg sliced through it, only a little worse for wear.

"These have to be Zira's goons..." Cargo muttered, helping Aven to her feet. "Where are the others? We can't take these things on alone."

"No fockin idea. Tsuki and Mikon should be out of the chamber in..." Aven checked her phone. "An hour. Let's go there."

"Good idea. I think we-"

Cargo was cut off when something struck him through his chest, tearing open a gaping hole. Aven watched in a state of shocked horror as the color drained from Cargo and he fell to the ground, dead.

"...What the...?"

Behind Cargo stood a strange creature, one that resembled a bug. It began to shift and morph, turning a shade of green and growing pointier ears. A tube snaked into its back, and it stared at Aven with a look of hunger in its eyes.

"You... You! I'll kill you!"

Screaming, Aven barely noticed her hair spike blonde. She knew it probably wouldn't be enough.

* * *

Stepping out of the time chamber, Mikon felt Tsuki's arm wrap around him. Strange, even after all this time, he flinched before relaxing into his embrace.

"...You think anything happened?" Mikon asked.

"It was only a day, we're probably fine." Tsuki muttered, his arms still around Mikon. "Still not long enough, you know?"

"Mmmh, I know..."

Mikon turned around and kissed Tsuki, almost letting his guard down until a flash of white flickered at the corner of his vision. His eyes darted to follow it, his hand covering Tsuki's mouth before he could say anything.

"...Something's here."

"What?"

Almost silent footsteps against the stone floor echoed through Mikon's ears, along with the stifled cries of Zither. He whirled around, summoning a spear and hurling it at a Quasar that just barely managed to dodge. Tsuki flinched, his hair turning blond as he saw more white androids appear. One of which held onto a struggling Zither.

"Don't move! They have Zither!"

That made Mikon freeze, standing at Tsuki's back as the Quasar squadron surrounded them. Seven, one holding onto Zither. That one began to talk, in a voice Mikon knew.

"Hello, Mikon. I'm sure you know how this works. Come on now, it's time to come home. Where you belong, at my side as the Hero-Killer. You cannot escape me, you know this to be a fact. No one escapes me. No one escapes my love. No one escapes Lady Zira."

The Quasar holding Zither grabbed onto the little Namekian's head, and Mikon realized it intended to rip his head clean off. Before he could move to stop it, a blue blade lopped off the Quasar's head, Tammy kicking Zither out of its grasp and landing on the ground.

"You're late." Mikon muttered, twirling a spear in his hands.

"Punctual as always, Mikon."

The three leapt into action as the remaining six Quasars attacked.

* * *

"Come on... Call it. Call upon me. Come on already!"

In a world of infinite space, Writer-San yelled at what it was seeing.

"You're losing! Your friends are going to lose! Call it! Why won't you call for me?! Why can't you see that I love you?!"

Writer-San flinched as it felt another presence, turning to see another being similarly made of starlight. But this one seemed to be made of a tapestry of stars, glittering like a chandelier.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing."

"You seemed to be... Disturbed. Are you watching the lower beings again?"

"No."

"It's alright if you are, it's our job. Come on, maybe watch something more entertaining. The infinite different paths they can create... There has to be something you like watching there, right?"

There was. (Y/n). Why did her paths fascinate it so much? Writer-San asked itself that question every day. It wanted a part, a role in those paths to play. It wanted to be a lower being so badly, more than anything. To live a life of infinite possibilities, instead of a life of one. Only one possibility existed for Writer-San and its kind.

To watch the different paths of the lower beings. Every choice they made, every fork in the road, every turnabout and every second guess. They made so many different endings, all for Writer-San's kind to watch. A name? They never had names. Except for Writer-San. It wanted a name. A story. Like her. It wanted to be in her story. Why couldn't she see that? Why couldn't she live the story it wanted to make for her?


	33. Let's Wrap It Up Like A Christmas Present

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/n: Mild TW for (Y/n)'s mentions of rape

"Is that... All of them?"

Druzy gasped, the last of the Quasar's dropping dead. Future Quartz and Xandria looked around, seeing nothing. Yet.

"No." Xandria replied. "We need to move. Zira has to have sent more than that."

"A warning?" Future Quartz suggested.

"We both know she doesn't deal in warnings."

"...The time chamber. That high ass place." Druzy turned to fly away. "Let's meet there. And hope the others had the same idea."

The three nodded and flew off, and only then did four inky black androids reveal themselves. One collapsed the time machine into a capsule, and they all followed the three at a slow pace.

* * *

Tammy wiped blood from the scarred side of her face, Mikon driving his spear through the last Quasar. 

"There's more." She muttered, standing beside Mikon and Tsuki.

"More?" Tsuki asked.

"You haven't fought Zira. This is how she takes out threats." Mikon replied. "She has the numbers. She has the technology. She has the time. You can't hold out forever. Especially not separated like this."

"Mikon's right. We need the others." Tammy seconded. "Separation is how she singles out and crushes us. So we can't get split up. And look how we've done at that-"

Just then, Future Quartz flew up with Druzy and Xandria, landing beside the other three and looking at the Quasar's. Future Quartz stretched out her metal arm, ripping off an eyepatch to reveal a yellow eye.

"Been busy?" Xandria asked, gesturing at the Quasar's on the ground. Mikon nodded, soon seeing Future Quartz flinch and look off into the distance.

"Something's coming. Lots of things. One's strong."

"How strong?" Tsuki asked. "And has anyone seen Cargo and Aven? What about Raditz and (Y/n)?"

"(Y/n) ran off. She..." Druzy muttered a reply. "She found out that Raditz told us about the whole... Whole anime thing. Future Quartz called me once she ran off."

"...She won't be here. She's unstable. Raditz has undoubtedly gone after. As for Aven and Cargo, let's assume they were attacked like us." Tammy summoned her sword. "If they aren't here, either they haven't had the idea to meet up... Or they aren't coming either."

"Not coming?"

Before Tsuki could go on, more androids appeared. Inky black ones, followed by one more. One with Cargo's pointy ears, Aven's bright green eyes, and a bug-like body.

"Oh for fucks sake, Mom, what even is that?!" Xandria yelled, pointing at the bug.

"...And did she really have to send all those Nebulas? Were Quasars not enough?" Mikon muttered. the creature speaking up in a horrid amalgamation of Cargo and Aven's voice.

"You crossed the Lady. You know the Lady hates traitors. Especially you three." The creature pointed at Mikon, Tammy, and Xandria. "It's them she wants. Maybe, if you all give up and let me have them, we'll see some form of mercy and spare you."

"Bullshit." Druzy rolled her eyes and summoned a blade. "Where's my uncle?"

"...Me?" The bug's voice changed, one that made Druzy step back in shock.

"What the hell are you?!" She snarled. The bug laughed, Aven and Cargo's voices joining that of Druzy's uncle. Tammy stayed utterly still, seeing the inky black androids circle the group.

"I absorb life. And through that, I grow stronger. They're a part of me now... I know their thoughts. Like your uncle, Druzy." The bug switched to Druzy's uncle, the eyes changing to a hazel color. "He hated you before he died. Good for nothing cannibal, he called you. Over and over again. Blamed you for dragging him into Zira's mess. Said all he wanted to do was carry on like normal, and you had to go get wrapped up in heroes."

Druzy didn't reply, the bug turning on everyone else and switching to the voice of Cargo.

"Cargo thought you were all talk. Thought his people were too peaceful. Thought you all had too much mercy. And Aven?" The bug switched to her voice. "Bloody idiots need me to fix all their technology. (Y/n) needs me to hook her up with drugs. Everyone takes, takes, takes, and what do they give? Cargo at least helped me fix my lungs."

"...Enough talk. That's my job, not yours. Do you have a name?" Tammy asked.

"Gan. We are Gan."

"Give the Lady my regards, Gan."

With that, Tammy leapt forward to attack Gan, everyone else rushing towards the Nebulas.

* * *

My wings shielded me from another of Turles' attacks. Or, wait, this is a different Turles. And I'm gonna assume he's somehow brainwashed into Zira's servitude. But what to call him?

Neo-Turles. Got a nice ring. I'd like it more if he wasn't my fucking rapist, but what can you do? I realized I should probably have been paying attention when my ass got blasted into the ground. Again. I can't fucking focus!

"...Is that still you in there? You still a sicko for me?" I had to ask.

"You're inconsequential. Zira is what matters."

"Okay, definitely fucking brainwashed."

My hair began to flicker from white to (h/c). What should I call this? Fuck it, this was White Wail now. I then realized I should have thought about knocking Neo-Turles away before thinking of transformation names. Because he grabbed me by the throat and began to slam me into the ground over and over again.

This felt too familiar. I heard Writer-San's voice just as I began to lose consciousness.

_"(Y/n)! You have to call upon me now! He'll kill you!"_

"Isn't this what _you_ did?!"

_"Just do it, idiot! What else do you have to lose?!"_

It was right. What else did I have to lose? I had probably lost Raditz. And the others. What else did I have but to kill this fucker a second time? To kill my enemies in this stupid fake world with the power of OP Mary Sue bullshit?

"...Alright. Do it."

Before Neo-Turles could strike another blow, I felt my limbs move out of my control and blast him away.

_"Hang on tight. This is going to hurt."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/n: Yall don't realize how little of Zira's lore I'm using here. This doesn't even touch on her methods of training her kids, the hierarchy of androids, how her ideology twisted and descended, etc.
> 
> This also doesn't touch on: The dynamics between the three Kyokia siblings and how Tammy's personality shift changed the dynamic(adding onto this, the multiple ways Tammy could have developed in her situation), the lore and culture of the Kyreans, Tsuki and Mikon's relationship, Ravya and how she came into existence, Cargo and Aven's actual story together, my headcanons on the universe post-Frieza, Druzy's descent into cannibalism and how she could either be redeemed or just be a plain villain, the regular OC adaptation of (Y/n) and how she fits in with the world after Frieza's death
> 
> One parody fic alone cannot scratch what I have in store for my stories. But keep an eye out, I work these into other fics


	34. Chapter 34

Holy shit. Holy fucking shit it hurt. Writer-San pulled my body into fighting, but that didn't do jack shit to block how how exhausted I was. It was like Raditz said. Fighting, fighting, long after you want it to stop. I wasn't dying, it just hurt like a bitch and I couldn't distract myself with focusing on the fight because I wasn't the one fighting. Writer-San had taken over my entire body. I mean, I technically consented, right?

I tried to lose myself in thinking. What happened after this? Would Writer-San just give me up? Hell, I didn't know it would do this. I thought it would be an anime power boost, not full on possession.

I saw my body deal one last cracking blow to Neo-Turles, my bat crashing through the metal parts of his body as he finsally stopped moving. So that was over. Writer-San did it.

Wait... I sensed something. A lot of power levels in one place. My body turned to leave just as I saw Quartz land.

"Mommy! You... You beat him? Are we safe?"

I tried to speak, but no words came out. My body turned and flew off, even as I saw who I assumed was Raditz approach from the horizon.

* * *

_"Where are we going?"_

Writer-San wouldn't answer me. Now I was getting a bit worried. Maybe they were just focused on whatever this was. I saw the Lookout approaching, seeing a squabble between what looked like a deranged Bio-Android, a bunch of jet black androids, and my friends. And holy shit, that bug was ripping my friends a new one. 

My body landed on the Lookout just as the bug impaled Tammy with a tube. It quickly withdrew and wheeled on me, as did the other androids. At least Tammy didn't get absorbed.

"Who's that?" The bug spoke, in Aven's voice but twisted. Oh god. Aven? It got Aven?

My body didn't reply. Seems like Writer-San didn't get the memo that we do cool one-liners here. It instead attacked the Bio-Android by shooting a powerful beam through my wings. Oh, that hurt like a bitch. The other androids attacked me as one, and my body fought them off. Hey, I was like Goku.

Where was the final boss? Was the Bio-Android the final boss? Fuck it, Writer-San could deal with it. And... They did. When the fighting stopped, the androids were...

Dead. Just like that. All it took was me letting Writer-San possess me. Wow, that simple, huh...

_"You did it... Hey, can you let me go now? I need to heal. Maybe we can talk in my dreams-"_

_"(Y/n), your desperation really is your weakness."_

I internally screamed as my body began attacking my friends, too. And only then did I struggle, trying to win back control as they began to scatter and flee.

_"What are you doing?! Stop! They're my friends!"_

_"They're fake! You said this world was fake, right? They keep you bound to a fake world. They're your enemies just as much as Zira was! And didn't I say we were crushing your enemies?"_

_"No... No they aren't!"_

_"Hush now... You're not in control."_

And yet, I struggled. Even as my body chased Druzy down through the wastelands, I tried to regain control. But I felt like I was slipping... Slipping out of everything. What was the point at this late stage? Maybe I should just give up...

No, I can't. I have to keep fighting. I can't let Writer-San win like this.

I felt my grip on control grow a little stronger as I saw Raditz approach. My body stopped, giving Druzy time to flee as she and Raditz exchanged a few words. Raditz then turned to me, his hair blond.

"...Hey."

My body didn't respond, staring him down even as I tried to speak. To tell him I wasn't in control. But it refused. All it did was stare at Raditz. I looked at him, expecting anger. But no. Just worry. Was that any better?

"What's going on? (Y/n)... Please, just talk to me. Or to someone. Or just come here and cry. But you gotta stop this."

Still, I tried to speak. I tried to tell him it was my fault this happened. That I snapped. But no, my mouth wouldn't move.

"I get it. You're going through a lot. I don't expect you to keep fighting. If it's too much, you can stop. We can handle Zira on our own. If it's rest you need..."

Is it? What is it that I need?

"Why won't you speak? Please, I... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told them. I didn't know it'd upset you, I..."

I never thought I'd see Raditz like this. He wasn't like this in the show. He was fake and evil in the show. But this isn't the goddamn show! This is real! Why do I keep telling myself it's fake? Why do I keep comparing this world to the show when it's so much more?

And then, my body spoke. And I knew it was Writer-San talking. But it sounded like me.

"...You're fake. I don't care about this fake place anymore. This isn't my home."

My body attacked Raditz as I struggled to regain control.

* * *

Quartz huffed and puffed, trying to keep running. To keep flying. To get to Mommy.

"I'm... I'm gonna save you this time! Just you wait! I'll save you, Mommy! I'll help make it feel better!"

She eventually saw Mommy... Mommy fighting Raditz. No, weren't they friends? Why was this happening? What happened to Mommy?

The bad thing must have gotten to her. The bad thing made of stars with all the voices speaking at once. It must be making her do this. Mommy wouldn't do this. And Quartz had to stop the bad thing before it hurt her Mommy. Future Quartz would do it, too. Future Quartz was so cool! She would crush the bad thing into stardust and take Mommy home!

But Future Quartz wasn't here. So regular Quartz had to do it. 

Quartz ran in front of Mommy, just as she swung her bat at Raditz, and didn't realize her mistake until the bat crashed into her skull.


	35. Choices, Choices, All Of Them Wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Massive fucking TW for mentions of suicide

He was losing. I was losing my mind, but Raditz was losing this fight and I knew Writer-San would kill him. I had to try and get back control. It didn't help that everything Writer-San was saying to Raditz could conceivably come out of my mouth, had it been me in control.

"(Y/n), you have to stop! What if this is real?! What if you're not in some convoluted nightmare and you're hurting your real friends?!"

"Then I'll see you in Hell!"

Damn it. That is something I'd say. Really... Did it matter if this was real? Even if this world was fake, maybe if I just shut up and stopped complaining, I could accept it.

"All this place has brought me is suffering!" My body yelled. "All I ever wanted to do was go home! This isn't my home! And it never will be! You're nothing but a fake I used to survive! I've seen you die more times than I can count, on a screen! This story isn't real! It should have been your brother here, not you! You're just a fake trying to be like him! And I'm the monster that can watch you die without so much as a passing chuckle!"

That stung. I could see it in his eyes. It just made me struggle more, and I could feel myself gaining a little more control. A twitch of a finger. A gasp, the blink of an eye. I could grit my teeth just a little more, of my own accord. But it wasn't enough.

Why am I never enough?

"That's not true..." Raditz muttered, his hair still blond. "You aren't a monster. I can't say I know everything that you did back before you came here, but it isn't your fault!"

"I let Vegeta die." My body replied. "I knew he could have been redeemed. Yet I let him die. Not even a suggestion to the others to spare his life. I didn't even think of sparing others until Jeice begged for it! Until he broke the character I thought I knew so well! I figured out what you were scared of and used it to make you join me! How is that not monstrous?!"

"Because you're a kid, you're scared, and you're trying to survive in a world you don't know! And I did that over and over again when I was younger than you! I get it!"

That gave me a little more control. But it was still not enough. Writer-San couldn't keep up the façade forever. Sooner or later, Raditz would learn that it wasn't me calling the shots. I don't know if that would make Writer-San leave, but it was hope. I should have broken into tears by now. But Raditz probably wasn't thinking about that in the heat of the moment.

"Just shut up. I don't need to listen to a fake character that doesn't exist."

"I'm not fake. I'm real. I'm your friend. Hell, you've been the only real family to me in my whole life." Raditz spoke even as my body attacked him. "You told me I was more than a fighting instinct. I don't get why you're calling me a fake now!"

"B-Because that's what you are!"

"...Is that you in there?"

Yes! I began to take over just a bit more. Almost there, I could almost muster the strength to stop attacking. Then Writer-San pushed me back one final time and swung my bat.

"I said shut up!"

And just as Writer-San swung, Quartz darted in out of nowhere. I tried to stop it, I really did. But even Writer-San seemed surprised when the bat hit my daughter in the head, knocking her down. She didn't get back up. My body stood in shock, all three of us silent.

Now I'd done it. I got her killed. All because I'm so stupid. I was stupid to trust Writer-San. Hell, I should have let the others handle it. I'm not fit for this. I'm just some idiot teenager from a washed up American public school, and that's it. I'm just dolled up as a fighter when I don't know what I'm doing.

Stupid.

Weak.

Gullible.

I don't deserve to go home. I don't deserve reincarnation. I don't deserve Raditz's friendship. My daughter's love. This power. Some stupid kid like me...

I took my chance. Ripping free of Writer-San's control, I aimed my bat at myself and fired every last shred of power I had into it.

* * *

"They're dead?"

Future Quartz put a blanket over Aven's body, Cargo's already covered with one. Druzy busied herself with patching up Tammy's wounds, trying to keep her alive.

"Her android parts are weird. But I can keep her alive." Druzy muttered. "Any word on Raditz and (Y/n)?"

"Haven't heard anyone come by." Xandria replied. "How... How did she tear through a squad of Nebula's like it was nothing? And that Gan creature... I don't get it. If she had that kind of power, why didn't she tell us."

"It was Writer-San."

Everyone turned to face Future Quartz, who stared at the ground with a wide-eyed, haunted look.

"That thing took her here. It had to have had a part in what happened. I don't know how, but... Mom couldn't have done that on her own."

"Is this more of her whole anime thing?" Mikon asked.

"Yeah... I'm surprised you all weren't more skeptical."

"I traveled through time to escape a tyrant that turned me into an android, and was also my mother. And you guys literally had physical proof with those DVDs." He replied. "I mean... Not my place to judge."

Future Quartz shook her head, looking up to the sky. Her eyes narrowed as she started picking up a power level. They then widened when Raditz landed, holding both (Y/n) and Quartz in his arms.

"Raditz! Where have you been?! What happened?!" Future Quartz asked as Raditz pushed by her and ran to the healing pod, slamming (Y/n) inside of it and sitting Quartz down. Blood dripped from Quartz's head, yet she stayed awake.

"...Mommy?"

"She'll be fine, okay?" Raditz replied in a hurried tone. "Sit still and let me wrap you up."

Future Quartz nudged him aside, grabbing some bandages and binding Quartz's wound. She sniffled and sobbed, but stayed awake until Future Quartz laid her down on the couch and gave her some painkillers.

"What the hell happened?" She then asked.

"...(Y/n) shot herself. I think she was being controlled by that thing... Whatever it was called."

"Writer-San? So I was right... We can't know until she wakes up-"

"You guys need to leave." Raditz muttered, turning towards the healing pod. "I need to talk to her. Alone."


	36. Snapped

"You really think she'll wake up?"

"Don't you have kibble to eat?"

Heather refused to leave. If Raditz couldn't deal, that was his problem. He could brood over (Y/n)'s still sleeping body all he wanted. To be fair, it had been two weeks and she still hadn't woken up. And he hadn't left her side other than to eat and clean up.

"I'm just saying-"

"Then stop speaking."

She left after that, padding away to go nap. Whatever happened, happened. To her, either she got fed or it wasn't her problem anymore. Raditz, on the other hand, stayed right where he was at (Y/n)'s side, his hands clasped together.

_'...Who the hell do I pray too? King Kai? Yenma? Ultra Omniverse Kai or some shit? Whatever. I don't care who I have to pray to. Just some benevolent god that gives enough of a shit to listen... Please, just let her live. Let her go home if that's what she wants. She's a kid. She's been through so much. Just let her live. Let her get better. Maybe just give her a break... Just for a little while? I have to be honest...'It wasn't just the whole anime thing. I just couldn't kill her. I looked at her and saw a kid trying to make the best of a terrible situation. I saw a part of me in that. I've been that kid trying to survive. The fact that she saw beyond that shitty animation her world did of me, that just... Just told me I could trust her. I dunno, I'm rambling. She isn't a moral paragon. Or, what does she call it, a Mary Sue? But just give her a break.'_

* * *

I snapped awake to the sight of the now familiar dream space. But... This time, there was something else. I recognized Writer-San immediately, but I saw it surrounded by larger beings of starlight. Brighter ones, too. They looked like tapestries of stars, where Writer-San just looked like a little galaxy.

And they were talking.

"...And if you ever do something like this again, we'll terminate you. How could you be so irresponsible! We are to have no influence over their choices! And you go and pull her into a world she isn't part of? All because you've taken after their emotions? Too much curiosity! You couldn't understand their idea of love if it blindsided you! What ever made you think this was even marginally okay, let alone impressive?!"

"...She is awake." A different one spoke. The first one led Writer-San away, and that was the last I saw of it. Good riddance. The second one that spoke came up to me, kneeling to meet my eye level.

"...(Y/n) (L/n). Correct?"

"Sure." I muttered. Was this my personal Hell?

"I'd like to apologize on behalf of that one. It's actions were highly irresponsible, not to mention forbidden! We are only to watch you and the lower beings, never to interfere."

"...What?"

"Oh, right, it never really explained what we are. Allow me to explain."

The being touched me, full of warmth instead of Writer-San's icy grasp. 

"We are without names, without identities in the way you're used to. We are only to watch the choices you make. To catalog each and every possibility. It is our honor and privilege to be able to watch you lower beings, to record your countless stories for eternity. We are... Never to interfere. But that one is, what do you call it...?"

"An asshole?"

"A child. Young, inexperienced. I'm not sure which one fits the best for you. Humans are always complicated. Rest assured, we punish those who break that law."

Writer-San... was a child? All this because of some kid? Huh... Whatever. I didn't care about it anymore.

"What happens next?"

"Well... To put it simply, we will have to interfere one last time. To put an end to it. You may choose which world to return to. Your birth world, or the one you were taken to. It is your choice to make, of course."

I sat down and laid back, trying to think. Here it was. My chance to go home. But what was home to me? What was Earth like? I turned to the being of starlight, shaking my head.

"My old world. Can I just go there for a bit? To see what it's like?"

"Of course! If you need to go there to weigh your options, absolutely. It's the least we can do."

I was expecting a no. But this is okay. I closed my eyes as light enveloped me.

* * *

"Huh..."

Well, I was not expecting an Election Day arrival and to be yelled at for not wearing a mask, but okay. I bought one at a 7-Eleven for cheap, and then bought a slushie and a candy bar. Holy shit, this... This was too much to unpack and I really was not beyond how badly COVID fucked us. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a group toasting with slushies in hand and ran up to them.

"Could you not wait for me?" I asked, Brittany screaming and jumping to her feet.

"Oh my gosh, don't do that!"

"Brittany, are you not gonna address that that's (Y/n)?" Matt asked.

"...Wait."

I burst into laughter as the group hugged me, even Matt. Sitting down on the curb, I told them all about what had happened. They all nodded like it made sense to them. Truth be told, they were in fictional universes too, at some point.

"So, uh... This place been interesting?" I asked.

"Fucking tell me about it." Dennis rolled his eyes. "We lost Prom. And, like, online school was shit but college so far is fine. Oh, yeah, Biden against Trump, someone show her the debates."

"I really wanna stay for a day to see who wins, but at the same time, I don't care... If I offered you guys a ticket to the fucking anime world, would you take it?"

"Me, take me." Alexa raised her hand.

"Heh, seriously?"

"Yeah, I mean, fuck this place. Ever since I've come back from anime fairy land, and you know, all this, I've wanted to get out. We're gonna die in the riots, let's just be real here."

"Okay, show of hands, who wants to go with me, for real?"

Alexa rose hers. Dennis and Nathan were next. Matt shrugged and raised his, and Brittany was last. They... Actually wanted to come with? Earthling squad?

'Really? All of you?" I asked.

"We survived our own worlds, and it sounds like DBZ has a much more stable government under the furry king." Dennis replied. "(Y/n), I'm scared as shit, and I kinda didn't expect to even really come back here. To be honest... A month or so ago, we were all trying to go back. Partly to find you, but partly because we literally cannot take living here after being in a fantasy world."

"Yeah, what he said." Brittany muttered. I looked up at the sky, hoping the beings of starlight could hear me.

"I know this wasn't part of the deal, but... Can they come with?"

Light began to envelop me again.


	37. Return

I didn't open my eyes just yet, listening to what was around me once the light faded into darkness. Quiet, even breathing. A song. Nothing else. I sat up a bit, blinking and stretching as I tried to make out the lyrics.

_Hold me oh so close, cause you never know, just how long our lives will be... If you've been waiting for falling in love, babe you don't have to wait on me. Cause I've been aiming for heaven above, but an angel ain't what I need._

I began nodding my head to the end of the song when Raditz sat up and looked at me. We met eyes, wordless for a little while. I then noticed that I was still wrapped in bandages. Oh, right... I tried to kill myself. Again. Why am I this dumb fuck?

"...Hey." I muttered.

"You're... alive."

"Yeah. I am... Shouldn't be."

"Don't say that. You know I care about you way too much to let you die."

I fell over onto my side, Raditz putting a hand on my shoulder. Felt nice. Too nice. Not what I deserved.

"...I'm sorry. I... Writer-San said it'd give me the power to defeat my enemies. I was desperate to beat Turles. Or, whatever that thing was that Zira sent. So I agreed. And it took me over. Tried to tell me you were my enemies. Fake people chaining me to a fake world. And what sucks is that... Part of me would have said that on my own. And then Quartz got hurt, and I just... Quartz-"

"She's okay. She healed long before you did. You've been asleep for... A month?"

"A month? What about Zira?"

"Oh, yeah..." Raditz rubbed the side of his head. "The others took care of her. I didn't leave your side. They time traveled back and killed her, and then left once they did. Not like we can fix that world, but she won't be sending any more androids after us. And then Turles showed up for you. He's hella dead, too. Mikon cut him to pieces."

"Huh..."I stayed silent for a little while, hearing some rattling as Raditz pulled out my meds and handed them to me.

"Take them."

"...But-"

"Take them. I don't know how this shit works but it at least helps you."

Huffing, I took my meds and laid back, staring slack jawed at the ceiling.

"...I could have gone back."

"Huh?"

"I could have gone back." I repeated. "Back to my old world. I did, for a bit. I could have stayed there."

"So why didn't you?"

Yeah. Why didn't I? Idiot.

"I... I had to apologize for attacking you all."

"Yeah, I call bullshit. What's the real reason?"

"...It wasn't home anymore. I can't leave this place anymore. I just... Couldn't. I'm no Goku, but I have some sense of duty. I guess... I don't know."

"Sounds about right. Either way... I'm glad you stayed. I genuinely don't know what I'd do if I lost you."

"Really?"

"Well..." Raditz muttered. "You told me I was worth something. I've never been told that before you. You gave me something to fight for. And I couldn't give a shit if you've screwed up a few times. You're not perfect. I don't expect that out of you. But out of everyone I've ever met, you're the only person who was willing to give me some sense of comfort when I woke up screaming."

"So, I treat you like a person?"

"Yeah. And I've never had that before I met you."

I nodded, curling up into a ball and breaking into tears. Holy shit, I've never cried this hard in my life. Not even in the school bathrooms when the stress of class had built to a breaking point. Not even when they stitched up my bleeding wrists and pumped my stomach. I didn't think it would end. But it did, eventually. 

"...I must look like a dumbass." I stammered out.

"No, you look like a human."

We both laughed. Grabbing some chocolate milk and hot cocoa powder, Raditz started making me some Ultra Chocolate.

"Oh, now you make me Ultra Chocolate?"

"It's stupid, but it's a good stupid."

"Oh, shut up."

I didn't deserve this. But maybe, one day, I could. I pulled out my phone, seeing the Crackheads Anonymous Yo Holla chat buzzing.

SSG: _okay everyone give me your discords I have another gc with my group_

UwU: _(y/n) help we're in the fucking woods and there's a spaceship_

SSG: _it's mine_

MonsterHunter: _told you guys, I told them like 3 times it was probably yours and Brittany was too scared to go up there_

CuddleFluff: _frick you!!!!! I can't believe I went to DBZ world! I mean, I guess it's not regular DBZ but..._

Nate: _you know our world is unbelievably fucked if Brittany would rather live in DBZ_

DoodleCake: _OI WE SPENT LITERAL YEARS IN ANIME WORLD AND YOU THINK I WANNA LIVE IN AMERICA AFTER THAT_

I chuckled, sitting up and getting to my feet with a little help. Staggering outside with Raditz's help, I saw the gang stumble out from the trees and see me.

"What happened?" Dennis asked.

"Later."

I held up a finger, texting the rest of the squad to get their asses over here. Mikon and Tsuki were the first, Mikon locking eyes with Dennis and pointing at him.

"Oh my god, that one. Anyway, girl, who?"

I shook my head as the others slowly got here, Brittany barely able to contain her howling laughter. This all felt so surreal. Why choose when I can have both, you know? Once you get a taste for the fictional fantasy lands, you never really go back to the mundane world of economic instability and capitalism.

"So, uh... Unseelie Court, meet the Crackheads." I finally said.

"Bloody hell," Aven cackled, "Why do you blokes all look so scared? We're not gonna bite! Might train you a bit, but-"

"Wot are ya doin' in ma SWAMP?!"

The minute Alexa yelled that out, I knew the merger between my two squads would go over well. Chaotically, but well. IS this really happening? You know what, I got magically transported into fanfiction and made this world my bitch, the fuck do I care if it's real? It is now because I said so.


	38. True Ending

"I cannot believe how easy this was."

It's official. Hercule exists, but he has been tossed out in favor of the two Unseelie Fae. Aka... Me and Raditz were gonna milk the World Martial Arts Tournament for money for as long as we could. And we went under the pseudonym "The Unseelie Fae".

Really, this was an excuse for the people of Earth to watch him and me fight for cash.

"Oh shut it. Don't you talk to your therapist today or some shit?"

"Aven's not my therapist."

"She acts like she is. I mean, she gives you drugs and all."

Flying away with our cash prize, we landed at my ship and I immediately fell onto the couch, flipping through my phone and seeing the group chat alive.

DiscountVriska: _shut up shes my girlfriend now_

ThotAssBitch: _awwwwwwwwwwww_

GreenMan: _huh_

DeadassAutomail: _cargo you know what you and i are? Yeah she has that now._

GreenMan: _oh_

MythicBitch: _guess what_

RoseGold: _tell me your idea worked_

MythicBitch: _it did. also sweetie who's your girlfriend_

DiscountVriska: _girl from college. idk how they let me in I have a tail and a metal arm_

MythicBitch: _who's gonna fuck with you if you have that?_

In another channel, the other squad was active and well.

CuddleFluff: _fricking swords are so cool_

MonsterHunter: _Hey Nathan get off Dennis' dick and come to training_

UwU: _Matt I am right next to you_

MonsterHunter: _And?_

MythicBitch: _oi fuckers Im not training, also I got money_

Doodle: _k we're training without you_

MythicBitch: _get fucked lmao_

Putting my phone down, I saw Heather pad on up to me and lay her head down on my chest.

"Don't move."

"I want food."

"Pillows don't talk."

"I will shove you off I swear to god, you lazy freeloader."

Heather moved to the other side of the couch, purring and looking over at Raditz, who was apparently trying to blowdry his long ass hair again.

"...You two okay?"

"We're fine, I'm just hungry."

"Okay, how about we eat something that isn't frozen food you bought at 7-Eleven?"

"Can we still get slushies?"

"I... Fine, slushies, and then we go eat at one of those restaurants you Earthlings like."

"Fancy one?"

"Why the hell not?"

"Should we dress up?"

"No, fuck that."

We both flew off to 7-Eleven, getting some slushies and sitting on the roof. Slurping them down, we soon bought another. The second ones we slurped at a slower pace.

"...Hey, rat?" Raditz spoke up.

"Yeah?"

"When are you gonna show me that Jojo you talk about?"

"...You wanna watch Jojo with me?"

"I mean, yeah. Don't you like it?"

"I will watch it with you tonight. From part one. We don't skip."

"Whatever you want. I mean, we still have shit to do, don't we?"

"Yeah. Between Buu, Broly, and either GT or Super stuff, we do. Buu and Broly are easy, though. As for Super, we make sure Frieza doesn't come back and we have Tammy sweet talk Zeno. As for GT, I don't have a clue cause I never watched it. And this assumes it's not all off-canon and-"

The sound of someone landing behind us made me whirl around. To my surprise, Jeice stood there, wearing partially broken armor and having shorter hair than last time. He... Didn't look angry?

"You?" I asked.

"Yeah, uh... I didn't really know where you were. Caught wind of Turles finding you here, had to follow. I'm not really here for trouble, I... I just wanted to say thanks."

I got up, walking to stand in front of him. He must have noticed the scar across my face, looking away from me.

"You did?" I asked.

"Yeah... You didn't have to let me and Burter go. But you did. I've been thinking a lot about working for Frieza. Burter and I have been trying to help people he hurt. They don't trust us much. But we try. I... I had to at least say thanks to you. If you didn't step in, they would have killed me. I mean, I deserved it, but... You didn't have to spare me, but you did."

"You doing better now?"

"You could say that. Some people let us stay for a little while. We'll keep trying to fix some of this until we die. Can't say Ginyu would approve but..." Jeice trailed off for a second before finishing. "I guess I don't see him the same way anymore."

"That's probably a good thing. Well... Good luck, you know? Universe needs some good bitches in it."

Jeice laughed, a genuine one that wasn't all evil and shit. He then nodded and flew off. Well, that was one loose end taken care of. In a nice way, too. I fell silent and sat back down, slurping up the last of my slushie and enjoying the afternoon sunshine. My legs dangling over the edge of the roof, I smiled to myself. And then I noticed Raditz looking at me.

"What?" I asked.

"...You're being happy again."

"Oh, shut it."

"I'm serious. And here you thought you didn't deserve any of this, huh?"

"Heh... I gotta say, man," I laughed, "I wouldn't trade this for anything."

"Not even a slushie?"

"Slushies are cheap. This can't have a price tag."

"What can't?"

"Your friendship."

Raditz turned away a bit, a stupidly happy grin on his face. Holy shit, that felt nice to see.

"Oh, come on, don't be corny."

"I'm serious. This place wouldn't be a home without you. 95% of my impulse control, my best friend in the world, I can't put a price on this."

"...Yeah. You can't."

Raditz put an arm around me, and I knew it was one I could trust. I didn't even think if it had romantic implications. I knew that wasn't what he wanted from me, like it wasn't what I wanted from him. And that made me smile even more. Still healing, but it was nice to look back and see how far I'd come.

From below us, someone whistled and laughed.

"Awww, you two are a cute couple!"

Laughing at their comment, we both spoke at the same time, in the same deadpan tone of voice.

"We're not dating."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/n: Oh no that's it. Anyway, here's all the fics the Unseelie Court members, aside from Raditz, will star in(even though a character gets a similar character arc as he did, just written like I'm not on crack):
> 
> Aventurine and Cargo will be in Dragon Ball: Seraph's Desire, the cyberpunk AU.
> 
> (Y/n)'s non parody counterpart Marcella Trench, Quartz, Tsuki, Druzy, and the Kyokia family will be in my unofficial "fuck you" to both GT and Super, Dragon Ball: Spectrum


End file.
